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thread: Trying to Conceive after Miscarriage or Loss ~ April 2009

  1. #37
    Registered User

    Jan 2008
    Melbourne, Australia

    Hello wonderful ladies - I am a big lurker still on this thread. I cant seem to stay away even tho I have since had my baby girl. But it still feels like not so long ago I was in here saying and feeling all the same things that you are all experiencing. I read your posts and I remember all too well the frustration and desperation and silently just wish you all the strength to keep keep trying and never give up hope because it can and will happen for each of you.

    cherished - I read your post about waiting to TTC after a D&C and what I wanted to say has already been said. My ob explained also to wait for AF because of the uterine lining needing to be nourished so as to get back to normal. I have had 2 D&C's and it was absolute torture to wait each time - I can't even explain how it was for me. I do look back on that time and think how amazing one month is like an eternity when you want something so badly yesterday. Then ironically 9mths just flies by and here my little girl is already 3mths old. It has flown. You will do the right thing for you hun and I have every faith that your earth bubba will come to you - as soon as possible.

    There is one thing I want to add. I look at my baby girl and I am absolutely in love with her. Her smiles and laughs just move me to tears sometimes and I just find myself gazing at how precious and beautiful she is. Emotionally torturous as my m/c's were and ever saddened by the fact that I didnt get a chance to hold my angel babies in my arms (you never ever forget them), I know that I would never have known this wonderful creature that I have in my arms now if things had not gone as they have for me. She simply wouldnt exist - and when I think of the joy that she uniquely has brought into our lives, I am ever grateful that she, as a perfect little individual, has been blessingly bestowed upon us.
    I sincerely hope one day - that you will each be blessed in the same way.

    ETA - Jen - we were posting at the same time - me too, hope we can catch up!

  2. #38
    Registered User

    Oct 2007
    Hunter Valley, NSW

    Just wanted to pop in and say

    Tutmae - CONGRATULATIONS Welcome to the world Charlie

    to everyone else : you are all in my thoughts and

  3. #39
    Registered User

    Mar 2008

    plc--As always, your words brought tears to my eyes! You are an exceptionally gifted person at being able to express your words so eloquently! It's so hard to remember sometimes, that everything happens for a reason... Please don't ever stop lurking here!

    mollycat--It's been a while since I've been able to stalk your chart! Congrats and sending you bucket loads of

    AFM--Pretty sure AF will be joining me a little earlier than usual this month. Spotting and cramps already, just since my last post! It figures.... at least I already knew from this morning's temp that she was coming, I just didn't plan on it being so soon. Hmmm..... looks like I can have myself a drink tonight!

  4. #40
    Registered User

    Mar 2009

    route 7.09

    It is 3 weeks today since d&c and still no AF. I know it could be up to 6 weeks til it comes and then the FS wants us to wait at least one more cycle before trying again. It is so terrible to be wishing my life away so I can start to stick needles in my stomach again! That is something I never thought I would wish for.

    to all.

  5. #41
    Registered User

    Apr 2007

    Jen - That stupid stupid AF! Even though you know she's coming from the temp drop it still sucks anyway hun, I'm sorry this wasn't your month. I don't know if you want to know if you're a bit down, but I've posted that pic you were after in the gallery - here's the link again https://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums/gallery/index.php

    mollycat - Yay for a chart!!

    plc - Wonderfully said

    HannahD - Glad to hear the side effects of the meds have improved for you Still sounds like not much fun not being able to sleep though, I know how you feel! Hopefully that will improve for you soon and that your BFP is just around the corner!

    Shortcake - Yay for AF! Hopefully she will pack her bags and stay away for 9 months now!

    Cherished - I had a D&C and we were advised to wait one cycle as well, for the same reason as all the other girls have said - to give the lining a chance to recover. But having said that, there are still plenty of care providers out there that say there is no need to wait, it can be very confusing. I totally understand the desire not to wait though, waiting that 6 weeks for AF to return was torture and it really does add to the pain you are already feeling

    Mel - I'm so sorry you are feeling down hun. I know with other people's pregnancies I just got to the point where I avoided anyone who was pg or who I thought might have been. I just couldn't cope with it at all. And as for that ultrasound memory, I would dearly love to be able to forget mine, but I know I never will. It is something you should never have to go through

    tutmae - Congrats on the birth of Charlie!

    Mannie - Happy 38th birthday!!

    Hugs and babydust to all you other lovely ladies here, hoping for lots of BFPs here soon!

  6. #42
    Registered User

    Mar 2008
    mid north coast, nsw

    hi everyone...I too am here and lurking...and wishing you the best.

    to those who are having low moments, I really really understand...hang in there. Others being pregnant can be really hard.
    Mel- big hugs

    tutmae- congratulations on the birth of charlie!

    jen- darn AF

    plc- oh that is a lovely thought and I too hope we are all blessed with our own little ones very soon

    and to all i have missed a big hello

    afm- my recurrent miscarriage tests reveal I have antiphospholipid syndrome...an autoimmune thing which results in blood clotting problems and can cause early and late pregnancy loss, low weight babies, preterm babies, preeclampsia etc. There is treatment, in the form of daily clexane injections in pregnancy to thin the blood.
    So it's a double edged sword. on the one hand we are glad to know about this and glad there is treatment (thank goodness I had those tests!). On the other, it's another complication to have on top of the rest and a bit scary, because it makes any future pregnancy 'high risk' even with treatment.
    Meanwhile, I am 4DPO and have everything crossed!

  7. #43
    Registered User

    Jan 2008
    Indiana, USA

    Quick post to possums...I have AFS also...I am getting injections of Lovenox twice daily...don't be discouraged!

  8. #44
    Registered User

    Jan 2009
    A Pirate Ship

    Hi girls and thanks for all the replies to my post re how soon can I TTC after the D&C...

    I am absolutley consumed with it It's totally insane!!! SO I have decided to give my OB a call to confirm that he told me I could try straight away... If he confirms I will not wait... I kinda think a bfp is unlikely unless my body is ready for it yet on the other hand I don't want to increase my chances of another mc... OMG I know all of you have gone through this agonising yourself... The fact that I am a 'true' liberian is NOT helping me at this time

    Possums I am so sorry to hear of your diagnosis and I have my fingers crossed for you too And here I am with my trivial crisis of when I can ttc again! Thanks for putting it in perspective for me

    plc1805 I loved your post and thanks for your reply to my ttc Q. What you said about your little girl is just lovely... I had said to DH a couple of days ago something similar... "There are so many options... like millions of sperm which could fertilise the egg... The baby you get in the end is JUST SO SPECIAL" And he said to look at the mc as gaining a baby not loosing one... It's a nice way to look at things anyway

    Jen LOL I didn't think you actually ate the pencils, but I am picturing it now heheh Can't wait to check out your sky diving!

    OK back to me.... WORK!!! 2 pg woman at the same time chatting at the counter about how they are due in 5 & 2 weeks and when one of them got there she felt the need to start giving me advise for "when it's my turn" This time tears were not the emotion I felt welling (as expected) it was my blood boiling!!!! OMG I just wanted to tell her to SHUT UP!!!!! OMG I have gone totally insane and completely crazy over TTC

    Thanks for the rant... Hope your'e having a better day than me (no I don't have multiple personality disorder, even though it sounds like it)

    ADDITION A COUPLE OF MINS LATER: Just got off the phone from the OB and he said to wait until after my 1st period GOD DAM IT!!!!!! Oh well at least I can stop going insane over it..... Now I just hope that the 'other' pregnant client who missed her app this morning doesn't show up this afternoon to give me more unwanted pregnancy advise
    Last edited by Cherished; March 31st, 2009 at 12:26 PM.

  9. #45
    Registered User

    Feb 2009
    Griffith N.S.W

    Cherished it has been 6 weeks since my D & C we started trying straight away like 10 days after I am still trying as my cycle is messed up so goodluck.

    I apologise in advance for TMI but I am hoping someone can shed some light on what is happening I had D&C 18th Feb got a pathetic 2 day AF on the 21st March and I am supposed to be ovulating now but instead I went to the bathroom to find more bleeding it was like redish/brownish jellish muck and bad abdo cramps almost like when I had my M/C soo sorry to share soo much but I am doing my head in I am wondering is my cycle trying to return to normal? So much for TTC this month anyway they say great things come to those who wait I am getting a little impatient though arghhh.

  10. #46
    mummy_of_3_boys Guest

    Hi Girls,

    Charm- After my d & c's I had bleeding for weeks afterwards, mostly spotting and mostly brown. I don't blame you for being impatient, I think we all are when TTC. If the bleeding is stressing you, get it checked out hun.

    Jen- Thank you so much my beautiful, sexy, kink twin for always thinking of me. I haven't been too good these last few days but when I lurk on BB and find you have mentioned me I feel less worhtless and insignificant. Thank you for being such a good friend.

    Won't be doing big persies .....

    But here's

    Last edited by mummy_of_3_boys; March 31st, 2009 at 03:02 PM.

  11. #47
    Registered User

    Mar 2008
    mid north coast, nsw

    smilanatu- i am very encouraged to hear that! thanks for dropping in to tell me. I am pleased all is going well for you!

  12. #48
    Registered User

    Mar 2009
    Inglewood, WA

    Hi Ladies,
    nearly the end of the school day, YEAH!!

    Cherished - Im glad you have been given a clearer response for your TTC question.
    Like I said, each to their own but I could understand the theory behind what I was told and found out.
    For me I needed the month, even though I didn't think so during it but I haven't even started my cycle and needed to heal more menatlly.
    Physically I have been lucky - I only ruptured once exactly 1 week after and haven't spotted or anything since. Fingers crossed Im greeting AF by the weekend!!!!!

    ALSO - I have decided its all about me now and I clearly but polietly (Ithink) tell people I dont want to talk to them. I always thought I was being 'rude' now I think Im just staying sane...

    Possum - hope it helps having more information. I hope the treatment is exactly what you need and nothing else. Maybe your forever baby is just super special and will be one of those perfectionaists!

    Andyk - I started acupunture to getting my body moving and ready. The wait is the hardest part...

  13. #49
    Registered User

    Jan 2009

    hi everyone. I don't have time for persies - but just wanted to drop in and say hi and that I was thinking of you all xx

  14. #50
    Registered User

    Dec 2008

    Hi to all ladies
    Just a quick note as NCIS is on lol...
    Cherished1, charm, sally, I wish I could help with the when to TTC and when AF comes back but here I am 8 weeks since the first D&C and almost 6 after the 3rd and still no AF...I wish us all AF VIBES ( Yes ladies I feel we could use some more!!..followed by some

  15. #51
    Registered User

    Aug 2008

    Rhi - Sorry about the BFN. I'm hoping it is just too early to test.

    jen - I hadn't thought of trying sleeping pills. I'm seeing my doctor on Thursday, so will ask her about it. I'm not keen to take anything while TTC unless absolutely necessary iykwim. The side effects are wearing off, but I don't feel any different yet. It can take 4-6 weeks. Sorry AF showed again hun Enjoy that drink tonight.

    plc - You're words brought tears to my eyes too. Thankyou for popping in to give us hope. for you and April.

    andy - I hope AF arrives for you soon.

    megsmum - Hope all is well with you and your little one

    possums - Sorry about the AFS diagnosis. I suppose at least now you finally have an answer. But on the other hand, you and your doc also have a plan of action to bring you your forever baby. I hope its real soon for you sweetie

    cherished - So sorry you had a bad day

    charm - After my D&C I bled/spotted for 2 weeks then 3 weeks later AF came but really only lasted for 2 days when usually for me it lasts 6 or 7. It can take a little while for our bodies to get back to normal. I hope your body sorts itself out soon. But I agree with mo3b, if it worries you, get it checked out.

    sally - Good on you. You do whatever you need to do to heal hun

    mrzbaby - Sending loads of AF vibes your way.

    AFM - Yesterday I posted about the Zoloft disturbing my sleep. I keep waking up every couple of hours but I've been coping okay during the day. Last night was no different, but today, I felt like I'd been hit by a truck. Just really, really tired and lethargic. I think I'm coming down with something as my throat has been a little scratchy all day. Just as well I'm off to the doctor on Thursday anyway.

  16. #52
    Registered User

    Oct 2008

    plc - Wow, what you wrote brought tears to my eyes. Thankyou for still lurking and being there for all of us. I hope one day I can do the same and give someone else hope when I become a mother. Although I hope by then this thread won't exist and everyone will be in the PAML thread. So happy to hear April is going well and bringing so much joy into your life I am on my 2nd cycle after my op (and having endo removed) and I have everything crossed - except my legs of course

    Rhi - Hope it was too early to test

    HannahD - Of course I always remember you Hope you are not getting sick and you manage to get some sleep soon.

    possums - Sorry to hear about your diagnosis but at the same time I am glad you have some answers and hopefully it means you are another step closer to your forever baby. Just look at smi for inspiration! Best of luck

    mrzbaby - Sending you some AF vibes.

    Jen - Sorry to hear that b*#@! is on her way. I really hope it is your time soon and I hope you can get some answers from the Dr (when you manage to get there and ask him). Enjoy that drink and have one for me I'm trying to detox after my big weekend in Melbourne

  17. #53
    Registered User

    Oct 2008

    Andy - Hope AF arrives for you soon.

    Megsmum - Snuck a look at your pic and wow! Congrats sweetie, you deserve it.

    Big hugs to boble, charmed, coco (hope you are starting to heal from your time away), cherished, charm, smi, sally, MO3B, mollycat, mannie and anyone else who may be lurking.

    AFM - I know I should be feeling more positive after getting answers from my op and shouldn't be expecting too much since it is only my 2nd cycle since having the endo removed but just can't seem to shake this really sad feeling. I feel very selfish and self absorbed I seem to cry every night driving home from work at the moment. Blame it on the hormones! I have started using Maybe Baby again (Sally, I have taken your advice and I am licking the lens!) so hopefully that will help this month.

    Thanks for everyone's support

  18. #54
    Registered User

    Mar 2009
    Inglewood, WA

    Good Evening.
    Just ate way too much chocolate....
    it just made the lovely fish dinner a pointless exercise...

    Mel - so funny, i was seriously just talking to another friend about it! Try it straight on your tounge and see if it helps. My ferns were INSANELY clear!!!!
    You feel how you feel. I kept thinking when i got to mile stones ( 2wks, 3wks, memorial etc) id feel better and it doesn't always happen.
    A friend who has experienced loss said when you think about it how does it make any different reaching those times, finding out the info etc.
    You are were you are and one day is no different to the next.
    Ive felt better on s*** days and SHOCKING on days 'i should' feel better.

    Im getting to the point were I can see people looking at me and thinking 'but its been over a month' and it sends me nuts!

    Grief and loss is such a denied thing and I dont get why!
    Im not a selfish person BUT its only about me for the short term.

    Hannah - I hope your not getting sick!!
    I have no idea how the medication works and its probably a seriously naive suggestion but I find rubbing lavenda oil on my feet helps heaps.

    Charm - Hope it gets a bit better soon, sounds horrid. I would probably investigate, maybe call your surgeon?


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