Jenushka - Im sorry your feeling so down and im so sorry to hear about your grandfather, my prayers are with you and your family. And its ok to vent, infact its healthy, it help us all sort out our feelings and give them the attention they deserve.
I too feel that this year has not been good at all where pg'cy is concerned. I started the year (literally on New Years eve and day) with a m/c, and things have not gotten any better. Sometimes I think...'how can this be fair? How is it fair to suffer 3 m/c's in a matter of 12 month?' But I guess its not a matter of being fair or not, its just one of those things. Whenever I feel like a 'poor me' minute, I just look at my little boy and everything starts to feel a whole lot better. I do feel like a stronger more resiliant women after having gone through what I have, and maybe thats the lesson I was supposed to learn. I dont know, all I know is that I cant change what has happened, but I can change the way I deal with it. I have let myself grieve properly for my losses, and find a way to focus on the postitives in my life right now. I have come to realise that I cant focus on what should or could have been, but only what IS. Life is not in the past nor in the future, it is right now and thats what I have to focus on.
You have had a difficult year and Im sorry you had to go through what you did. I hope you feel better soon and find the comfort that you need right now. Sending you huge hun, we are all here for you.
Jenushka - it's amazing how either everything good comes at once or in our cases all bad things seem to turn up together. here's an extra for you for your grandfather. i'm sure it won't be long and DH will be snapped up by someone else. There's times when you just hate to look around you and see all the pg bellies. It's not a case of wanting it away from them - you'd just love to be able to join them.
All the best with the naturopath/herbalist. It's something I think I need to look into. I've tried clomid many times over the last twelve years and just had six months on tamoxifen, which my DH doesn't want me back on, maybe it's time to look at some other form. I'm getting too old to wait for to much longer, but I'm just not ready to put wanting another baby aside. A bit crazy seeing as though my boys are 16 and 11 it's almost like starting again - i guess it is - i just know i have so much more to give.
Gooooodness... just been reading a novel to catch up..... Yes Jen Jen... I went to get online up at Perisha Blue... only to be told that belly belly was a sexually explicite site...... I sat there thinking goodness... is some alarm going to go off in a minute with flashing read light... with 'PERVERT....PERVERT....PERVERT" screaming over the loud speaker.
I ve just booked in to Rydges and sat my lap top up straight away.... only here one night and i know the next motel does not have internet. BUT I will be back Saturday night and everythign will go back to normal.
The snow for me was a bit of a waste of time... DH however loved it and after all thats why we went. I was throwing tanties first up because my ski s wouldnt go on.... then when they finally did... i made my way over to the beginners area... went on the training section... fell flat on my butt... and then took my ski s back off and didnt ski again....... I just wasnt going to risk anything.... Chances of the BFP tomorrow are slim.... somewhere between bucklies and sweet f all.... but even the absolute slightest chance and I couldn t risk it.
Pill girl... glad you were laughing at my pervting expense......The funny thing was.... I kept trying....lol.....as if the computer is going to go...ohhh sorry my mistake... and bring up the page. looking forward to tomorrow night...
pbstar..... i m not giving up... just know the chances arent high. I hope you are doing really really really well.......one day at a time remember .
BB.....hugs hun
To everyone else... I wont try and go through everyone individually... dont think i ve got that much internet time....lol
jenushka- big for you, i hope your run of horrible things has ended now and life starts to pick up, i know how you feel, when there is one thing after another and you just start to look up before something kicks you back down again. please know that there is light at the end and you will get some positives eventually. someone once said to me that everything is ok in the end, if it's not ok it's not the end...that has always stuck with me and helped me keep going through the tough times.
jen- i really hope and this cycle ends with some good news for you. EDD is hard and emotional but i also found it quite a relief to have it over with and almost like a release. will be thinking of you over the coming weeks as that day approaches for you.
issy- as always i find your attitude so inspiring. you have a great outlook, not overly rosy, but really positive and realistic. i love that you roll with the punches and keep looking at the great things in your life. sending you a big too
tutmae- we have something in common, i'm Phoebe too! that's were the pb comes from in my name
angel- ROFL at you with the pervert alarm going off...you crack me up!
AFM- got results from yesterday's second BT today. so the first one at 4W1day was hcg 335 and prog 95 and then at 4w3days hcg went to 810 and prog to 89. so obviously hcg is doing good but should i be worried about prog dropping or is it normal for it to fluctuate? issy can you ask one of the midwives in your family? i am thinking it is still not considered low so i guess it is ok but just want some advice from you ladies, would rather take care of a prog issue sooner rather than later if you know what i mean...
Hi Pbstar - Just wanted to say congratulations on a great rise in HCG, those numbers are great ! Also, I asked my FS midwife and she said that because progesterone is produced at intervals, instead of a gradual increase like HCG, it may drop a little before it is next reproduction. She said, and this is in her words...'HCG is like a faucet being left on, the water just keeps on going and will continually increase, but progesterone is more like someone filling a sink and then pulling the plug, and then continually trying to re-fill it as it empties...there will be times when its a little bit higher and then a little lower'. It is normal for the progesterone to fluctuate. Also she said your numbers for progestrone are good so dont worry hun, im sure everything is going to be ok .
Ok, well im off, have a great night (or day for some )
jenushka- I'm so sorry you are feeling so much pain. Thinkinf of you!
pbstar- for good results. Issy's words sounds very promising.
Angel Babies- for a surprise bfp for you.
Larz- I am heaps for you. I totally can relate. I lost my left tube in May. AF arrived late this week and I was hysterical. I started thinking I might have another ectoptic.I went in to GP for BT, just to check (even though I got BFN on HPT). I know you really won't feel at ease until the scan shows bub in the right place, but the increasing HCG would defintely help. Looking forward to seeing another big increase tomorrow
Hi to all!!
AFM- Stayed home today with seriously nasty visit from AF .
Evening pregnant or soon to be pregnant ladies !!!!
Tut - obsessing is totally normal... I would be doing exactly the same thing. Can't wait for you to hear the HB - how exciting
Fifi - congrats on the positive at the moment... I hope the next test gives you more information rather than leaving you guessing.
Mollycat - bugger about AF
Larz and PBstar - yaya for the increase in HCG !!!
Tempus - great to hear from you
Jenushka and Issy - hope you both have better days ahead filled with all the joy your deserve
AB - good to hear from you.... give skiing another go (unless of course the BFP comes up) it will take your mind off things
Jen - seems we have following the same pattern with implantation although I am on 10DPO
AFM - panicked this morning as I wiped and had small smear of pinky, browny mucus (TMI) and then started to get cramps for the morning. I thought AF had arrived very early but it all stopped by lunch I suppose tomorrow morning will let me know what is happening in a way with my temp
aaaarrrgggghhh I am starting to overthink this again and really dont want a huge let down...
WTH - I am so sorry to hear about your cat. I am a vet nurse and you wouldn't believe how often I see that happen to the poor kitties. It's like their kidneys just don't last as long as the rest of their bodies It's so unfair. It sounds like you gave her an amazing life if she had lived with you for half of yours. I hope you can take comfort in knowing in the happy memories that you share and the knowledge that you gave her a wonderful home.
Mollycat - That is so freaky that you woke up when Jen "removed" the force field! I'm putting up decorations in preparation for our May babies party!
Easha - OMG, before they diagnosed my gall stone I used to have the worst pain attacks. One night I called my mum in agony and she came to rush me to the hospital. It hurt to move, but it hurt to stay still. I was literally writhing on my bed in pain. The hospital gave me a pain killing shot in the butt that worked fantastically, but I didn't get a chance to tell them that pain killers make me violently ill. They kinda worked it out once the vomitting started and they have to give me a second shot to stop it, lol! The pain killers totally space me out too, and I remember lying there talking about how I was glad I was wearing pretty panties that day because the back of my gown was undone!!!
Tutmae - I won't tell you to relax, because I'm sure that it's jsut not possible. But I will tell you to make sure you take some time to totally embrace your pregnancy and enjoy it This is an amazing and special time for you and your baby, so make sure you don't miss it sweetpea!
Fificlaire - I really hope that your next lot of bloods show the hcg on the way UP and not down. Good luck!
Larz - How fabulous that the hcg is going up so nicely for you! I'm sure that this little bubba has read all the street signs and made it all the way to the correct place in the uterus.
Jenushka - Oh honey, what can I say? The universe needs to stop flicking it's poo at you! They say things come in three's... well I'm sure you've well and truly had AT LEAST your three! I'm sending a rainbow your way so that all the good luck can follow it to you!
pbstar - Super super super blood test results!!!
Angel nuff - You can't convince me that you were trying to look up BB when you got the error. I KNOW that it's just a cover because you were surfing the net for porn!
Jen nuff - I was trying to stay up to check your monring temp, but I'm and nodding off to sleep typing. Gotta go get my ebauty sleep so I don't fall asleep at dinner with Angel and Mr. Angel.
AFM - Started my herbs this morning. Oops, and I just realised that I made them up before I started typing persies, and have forgotten to take them. Oh well, might as well finish typing and then take them...
Anyway, they taste jsut as disgusting as I remember. Sort of reminiscent of dirty dishwater mixed with mud. Not that I have ever drunk dirty dishwater with mud before... But you all get the point. I block my nose, drink it, then stick a teaspoon of honey in my mouth!!
Well, it's beddy time for little ol' nana here! I hope you are all well. Hugs to you all
and im so sorry to hear about your grandfather, my prayers are with you and your family. And its ok to vent, infact its healthy, it help us all sort out our feelings and give them the attention they deserve.
it's amazing how either everything good comes at once or in our cases all bad things seem to turn up together. here's an extra 
that's a great result
.
this cycle ends with some good news for you. EDD is hard and emotional but i also found it quite a relief to have it over with and almost like a release. will be thinking of you over the coming weeks as that day approaches for you. 
! Also, I asked my FS midwife and she said that because progesterone is produced at intervals, instead of a gradual increase like HCG, it may drop a little before it is next reproduction. She said, and this is in her words...'HCG is like a faucet being left on, the water just keeps on going and will continually increase, but progesterone is more like someone filling a sink and then pulling the plug, and then continually trying to re-fill it as it empties...there will be times when its a little bit higher and then a little lower'. It is normal for the progesterone to fluctuate. Also she said your numbers for progestrone are good so dont worry hun, im sure everything is going to be ok 
.
This is an amazing and special time for you and your baby, so make sure you don't miss it sweetpea!
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