Jenushka - Im sorry your feeling so down and im so sorry to hear about your grandfather, my prayers are with you and your family. And its ok to vent, infact its healthy, it help us all sort out our feelings and give them the attention they deserve.

I too feel that this year has not been good at all where pg'cy is concerned. I started the year (literally on New Years eve and day) with a m/c, and things have not gotten any better. Sometimes I think...'how can this be fair? How is it fair to suffer 3 m/c's in a matter of 12 month?' But I guess its not a matter of being fair or not, its just one of those things. Whenever I feel like a 'poor me' minute, I just look at my little boy and everything starts to feel a whole lot better. I do feel like a stronger more resiliant women after having gone through what I have, and maybe thats the lesson I was supposed to learn. I dont know, all I know is that I cant change what has happened, but I can change the way I deal with it. I have let myself grieve properly for my losses, and find a way to focus on the postitives in my life right now. I have come to realise that I cant focus on what should or could have been, but only what IS. Life is not in the past nor in the future, it is right now and thats what I have to focus on.

You have had a difficult year and Im sorry you had to go through what you did. I hope you feel better soon and find the comfort that you need right now. Sending you huge hun, we are all here for you.

Issy