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Thread: Trying to Conceive after Miscarriage or Loss ~ March 2009

  1. #307

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    Afternoon my lovelies

    Charm I really feel for you with your cousins actions being so raw to what you have just gone through, the name thing would be bad enough if she had just 'stolen' your name and you weren't pregnant yet but to have lost your little one is even more devastating I am sure she didn't do it on purpose but really.... "what was she thinking!!!" like many others have said, people just don't think a lot of the time! On that note Jen, it happened to you too....... What are the odds???

    Mel1979 thanks for the reminder that we can still be grateful yet desire to be a mother... It seems so incongruent sometimes, I am so insanley happy with DH and my life it seems so crazy to be sad for even one second....

    Abey LOVE, LOVE, LOVE to you honey so happy you have a brighter outlook today, the girls have given you some great advice. We have been TTC since Sep 08 (so not that long) and it was only in the last cycle (where we got the BFP) that DH said once "you don't even really want to, you just want a baby" and it was shattering to hear... I decided in that moment that I was going to keep a close eye on my chat and make sure I only instigated dtd when I had a pos OPK stick and my cm was fertile... I also decided that I was going to instigate dtd looooooong before my fertile days and days where there was no chance we could conceive so that he knows I wanted him NOT just to make a baby. Having said all that we had an absolute marathon in that month we did get the bfp, but it didn't need to be that way, luckly the night that counted was a really intimate session IYKWIM so I was happy it wasn't like all the other baby making sessions where we were both tired

    sallyk61 so happy your service went well for little Lilly xoxoxo

    Andy welcome to our group, you are amoung friends and I am so happy you have joined us to share the journey together



    coco I too love Pac Fair, haven't been there for years but I used to live on the GC and was a frequent shopper... I have decided to go to the plaza tomorrow and do some shopping... I am the heaviest I have ever been (totally depressing) I lost 100g sitting on my butt all week which is better than a gain I suppose, so I need some new clothes... Just a few and a new handbag! I am looking forward to that tomorrow

    "LORD, does it ever end"? Today I was feeling heaps better emotionally after chatting with DH last night and physically a bit better 2 than a huge headache started coming on about 4 hrs ago and wont budge!!!

    to everyone else and I hope you are all doing well... to all!!!

  2. #308

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    so the preliminary results have come back clear so not downs, or trisomy 18 or 13 (fatal ones) so waiting now another 8-10 days for full results. Don't know what to think now I guess its probably a more structural problem e.g. heart etc, so just waiting.... Thankyou for all your support so far.

  3. #309

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    erybery -That is great about your results. for great results in 8-10 days time. Sorry you have to go through this, the waiting must be agonising

    Abbey - After reading everyone's responses I am so happy to know I am not alone. It is so normal to put pressure on yourself when you want something so much. DH and I tried Bd'g every night during what I thought was my fertile time but it just become so much pressure and we were only doing it to try and conceive. Now we have settled on every 2-3 nights. I know it sounds like a routine but we find it keeps the passion/tension alive for us and DH doesn't just feel like a sperm donor. We also BD in non fertile times when it is just for fun which helps as well. I agree with Rhi too, have a date night or do something intimate and special instead of just going to bed (IYKWIM). Enjoy a bath together with some music playing and a glass of wine and just enjoy each other's company. Every couple is different but it has worked for us. We still feel the pressure each month (don't think that will ever change) but at least DH knows I want him for him and not just for a baby. Hope it gets better sweetie

    Coco - I agree, Pacific Fair is awesome! Make sure you spoil yourself

    cherished1 - Sorry you have a headache, hope it goes away soon.

    andyk - Sorry for your loss but I am glad you have found us . I hope the grief counselling helps, I wish I too had of had some form of counselling but unfortunately I didn't. I hope your stay here is short and you get your BFP soon.

    Jen - Damn, did I dob myself in? Have you managed to get a Dr's appointment yet?

    Shortcake - I have read about that book, hope it helps!

  4. #310

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    HUGE hugs to everybody sounds like we all need one and I am day seven after AF which only lasted 2 sad days anyways I felt like I was O'ing so I tried the OPK kit which was positive and both my ovaries are tender usually only one side hmmm I just thought it was a little early to O ? DH and I can only try our best and cross our fingers and toes. Have an awesome weekend everyone although I will probably be on 2mo as DH has farewell drinks 2mo nite I feel like a quiet nite in I think to everyone

  5. #311

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    Hi Ladies,
    Hopefully our weekends will be a little better then today for most of us!!

    Abbey - Its so consuming the path we are all on. I dont think I can say anything you haven't already be told but we are all here to help, and all been in really similar situations.

    Andy - your in the right spot! If you get the smae help and support as me you will get through this. Im glad your seeing someone, it helped (and still does) me so so much!!!

    To all the lovely ladies you sent me so many positive thoughts:
    Little Lilly is forever playing in the rose garden with her baby friends and that is the perfect place for our beautiful girl. So So hard but perfect too. We are so lucky to have this beautiful memory and place to go. SO lucky.

    xxoo

  6. #312

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    Hi everyone... firstly, welcome to the new ladies - sorry you have had to be here - but glad you have joined us.. the support you will get from all the lovely ladies in here is amazing! I hope your stay is a short one

    thank you to everyone who replied personally to me - i must admit I have been having a pretty bad week... I always do when AF if imminent. I can handle the waiting to O and then the 2ww but as soon as I know its af time I just lose it. *sigh* im sure you know how it is!

    sorry, i feel like I am a bit behind because I didn't come on last night and there seems to be so many posts lol. Im not sure if I can catch up haha.

    Rhi - i am thinking that the maybe baby is a good idea.. I can't even work out how to pm you though - feeling like a bit of a loser for not being able to work it out

    Abbey - I hope things get better between you and DH. All the advice that you have been given is wonderful and I am hoping it helps you a little.
    It is so hard for us, but also hard for our men. My DH since the first m/c now has problems ejaculating! So... although we bd a fair bit.. not every time ends with a "happy ending" - in fact, last month only 3 times in the WHOLE month and I think only one of those times would have been anywhere near when I would have O'd. he can't tell me why and we have had so many problems because of it. to the point where I would end up in tears after every bd that was "unsucessful" - it has been a really long hard road! And it still is hard. but I have learnt the more I pressure him the worse it gets... and I still get upset and it is still hard to deal with but I try not to let it get to me and I try to keep things "spicy" so it is less of an issue (but it still is more then not) - so yeah, I just wanted to share my story with you. as embarrassing as it is.

    Eliza - i hope you are enjoying your time in tweed. the time away will probably do you the world of good.

    shortcake - i hope you get in to see your ob earlier

    charm - oh no! how horrible that must be for you some people just don't think

    afm - well... af. I still don't have "full blown" af but the spotting has been getting a bit heavier over the past 2 days. I'm sure it will be here in all its glory by either tomorrow or Sunday. I am counting today as CD1 because it has been "red flow (well, flowish)" instead of brown spotting - does that sound right?
    I am going to start charting again... get ready for me ff - i'm-a coming back does anyone know how I can post my chart in my sig (Like you have Jen) - can you do that with the free version or is it just the paid for one that you can do that? I would love to share my chart with you all.
    also, and I probably already mentioned this. I am going to get acupuncture starting next saturday. Can anyone who has had it done tell me what to expect? does it hurt? what to they do when you get there? do i have to get down to my underwear??? sorry, i just hate the unknown.
    oh, and we bought a new dining suite - it is MASSIVE. it is a big timber (very solid) square table that seats 8. I love it! Now to find tablecloths that fit it I love my new table!

    *big hugs* to everyone. and i hope you all have a wonderful weekend.

  7. #313

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    Boble - doesn't hurt at all! I just wore my normal cloths and pulled down my knickers and pulled my to up till under my bra. Other then that nothing 'private' showed and you just relax after for about 20 - 30 mintues.

    Just found out another person is pregnant!! Who I KNEW was but they denied it when I asked. Probably to 'help' me it just has ticked me off seriously because I feel like they think Im so soft I 'could' cope with the news. CHRIST!!!

  8. #314

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    morning everyone

    erybery I hope you get great news down the track when all the results are back. Love to you and your DH

    boble You're such a sweetie! It sounds to me (in all of my expert opinion NOT) that your DH is worried about you (and him) getting hurt again if you do get your bfp in case you have the same tragic end? Which of course will NOT happen!!! Have you guys seen anyone for help? Re the acupuncture I get it often and am fully clothed, most times she uses a hand or a foot or both, sometime a spot on the leg (this is for hormone balancing) other times she puts one in my head and if I have been there for neck pain she will put them in my neck in which case I take my top off. but 'm laying on my stomach anyway. They don't hurt at all, if anything I get bored laying there for 45 mins.

    sally, again an example of people not thinking.... The only logical conclusion is that the whole world is [email protected]%&%d!.... Except for all of us hahahaha NO JUST KIDDING hehehehehhe

    AFM I finished my antibiotics last night and an down to just spotting, I am no where near as bloated and I am going to chart my cycle on ff just to see if everything is working down there... Than after my next AF dh will be whipping out the goods and we will be praying to get another BFP . Well I am going to do a quick clean up and than out shopping YAY I hope I find a few things to buy... I am not usually one for retail therapy so will see how it feels
    Last edited by Cherished; March 28th, 2009 at 08:23 AM.

  9. #315

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    AFM: Still no AF. over it. PLease send AF, doors open.. oh and the windows as well....lol
    DH still wants us to have another go. I say its going to take him some conviencing. I just don't know!! I see babies and go oh they are gorgeous but on the other I just can't imagine us with one does that make sense I just can't forsee it. I forsee most things before they happen ( no I am not a pyshic!! ).
    I just forsee things but this time I can't and I couldn't when I was preg...interetestingly enough.
    Then DH tells me he doesn't want the whole timed sex thing.. but for us if we do ttc it's with clomid and the whole process has to be timed then we have the have to be UTD by september... And DH is never in the mood anyway so I give up..
    Thoughts anyone????

  10. #316

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    Cherished I think you are spot on there that is my thoughts on it too. by the time we fell pregnant again last time (like the month before) it seemed like it was all "fixed" and it was more like 80% success - that took 3-4 months to get to that point. And it was usually more of a problem if he knew that it was around that fertile time. DH wants kids too, but I guess watching me have to go through m/c'ing must play on his mind a lot and maybe subconsciously he doesn't want to "cause" it again??? But yeah, we will get there - as you all will too
    Can't wait till you are back on the TTC bandwagon.. come on AF - I hope it is a short cycle for you so you can get back to it I hope you get a bfp in your first month!

    Mrzbaby - oh no! I know what you mean about not being able to see it.. I was feeling so down last week and that was how i felt too. Like I couldn't picture it in my future. I truely hope my body proves me wrong because I would so love to have a newborn again and watch and help them grow! I hope you find your way soon hun

  11. #317

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    Happy Saturday to my gorgeous bb'ers from Oz! I'm so happy it's Friday for me, and the work day is done! I had to be at DS's school at 8 to help with Spring portraits--I score a free pack of portraits when I help, so I always work on picture day! Then had to work the lunch shift afterwards, so finally got home around 1:00--and starved! Then back at 2 to sell Smencils. So I'm done for the day and ready to catch up! It's after 4, and I don't know what we're having for dinner yet, but I don't care--it's bb time!!



    andy--I'm so very sorry for the loss that brings you here. I pray that you find comfort and support here among us--you're surrounded by the most caring, supportive, understanding women I've ever been blessed to meet! I hope that the grief counselor is beneficial in helping you come to terms with your loss, and we'll be here for you as well, to cheer you up and cheer you on your journey!



    Abbey-- That's what we're here for! We actually DO understand how much it helps to be surrounded by others that feel the same as you....I think we've all felt that overwhelming relief to know that we're not alone in our grief, struggles, and stresses that come with TTC. Not that any of us would ever wish this upon anyone else, but it certainly helps you feel less lonely--and in my case, less of a freak! It's amazing the way the girls here can practically finish your sentences for you, because they just KNOW what you mean without ever having to put it to words! I hope you have a great weekend!



    coco--Sounds like heaven! Enjoy yourself, you deserve it! *hugs*



    cherished--There's an endless supply of people that just don't think before they speak on this vast Earth. The odds.... hmmm, well, Hannah is a statistician.... what are the odds, Hannah, of a cousin thieving the name that you want?



    erybery--So relieved for you on your preliminary report! *hugs* I'm for a miracle on your next set of results!



    Mel--You did dob yourself out! But given my forgiving nature, I'm going to pretend that you didn't forget about little 'ol me!



    charm--I was looking into follicular phase length last month, and one of the things I read said: "Ovulation can occur at anytime within the first phase (follicular phase) of a woman's cycle, which can be as long as 21 days. Once ovulation has occurred the second phase, (luteal phase) begins which also can last between 7 and 21 days coming to end at the onset of menstruation, and so the cycle starts again." I had been worried last month that at ff said I O'ed on CD11, so I looked into it.... it doesn't really specify which days, if any, are too early, so best of luck for this month! Hope you caught that eggie!



    sally-- Thinking of you and your little angel Lilly!



    boble--Just wanted to let you know that I think you have to have a minimum of 50 posts in order to leave someone a PM. Also wanted to say thanks for sharing your story--sometimes it's the most embarrassing ones that are the most helpful to others!

    Have to actually run for a few, but will be back to help you with your ff ticker! Will also finish persies then!

  12. #318

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    Ok, boble--If you've already got a chart on ff, then go to "menu" (from ff), then "sharing", then click on "home page set up". There should be a link there that you will copy.... then on bb go to "user profile", then "edit signature" (which is what you did when you made your signature). Anyhow, under your signature, you then paste the link there. You can do a preview first to make sure it worked properly. The only thing is, I think you'll have to change your sig from 4 lines of text to 3--check the guidelines first to make sure you don't get an infraction. Yay, a new chart for me to stalk!



    cherished--Glad to hear you finished your antibx, has your pain gone away? At least now that you're going to start charting, you'll know how to add your chart to your sig! This would make 2 new charts for me to stalk! Hope you enjoy your retail therapy--the only time it doesn't help make me feel better is when I'm broke! I can't stand window shopping--I'd rather not even go! Who the hell invented window shopping anyways?



    mrzbaby-- Sending you lots of AF vibes, AF vibes, AF vibes, AF vibes, AF vibes, AF vibes, AF vibes, AF vibes, AF vibes, AF vibes....




  13. #319

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    Time for a new thread everyone. Here you go

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