Babyfever - I am lucky that I just had a BT this time, so I don't spend all my time looking at sticks... but i know exactly what you mean!! Good to hear that your boobs are huge... i hope that means a BFP for a big fat on friday
Larz - I too know what dissapointment feels like, but feeling apprehensive now, isn't going to make the pain any less if something goes wrong, so why not just assume that all will be in perfect order and enjoy the ride. Take care hun.
Emmykate - thanks hun!! Oh sweetie, I hope you feel better soon. Thinking of you.
AFM - I'm feeling very positive about this little rasin, so I have make my mark in the PAML thread, and will be back every now and again to stalk you and see who's getting their BFP's.
Take care, and thank you so much, everyone, for all the love and support you have given me over the last four months. You have all been fantastic, and this roller-coaster ride wouldn't have been any where as easy without you.
Sticky vibes for you all. Hope to see you in the PAML thread soon.
Joey Just wanted to say a congrats on your BFP sending you lots of
Mannie I've been checking my cm as well but still nothing. I also brought a maybe baby and though it was a waste of money. I purchased an OV watch which tells you the four days b4 ovulation and the day of ovulation. You just need to wear the watch for 6 hrs a day (e.g when your sleeping) I used it b4 my last pg and got pg that cycle. Google it and you will find the website. My watch says I am fertile day 2 at the moment so two more days b4 ovulation.
Emmykate I know what you mean. With my job I see alot of the lower socio-economic society (drug addicted ppl) and they have healthy beautiful babies and I think to myself WTF!!!! My DH and I would be wonderful parents and give it everything it needing included a healthy and safe environment.
Babyfever Good luck with your HCG results tomorrow I hope they are high, high, high and keep getting higher for you BFP. I am sorry the lady taking the BT was so rude she obviously doesn't understand the anxiety involved in ttc after a miscarriage.
Ruthie I hope th next two months fly by and your new doc can give you all the answers and help you need.
Everyone else I missed sending you all lots of
AFM I have been feeling kind down lately and feel that DH and I will never have a forever baby. It been 1 year since we TTC and had two miscarriages. We have an appointment with the FS tomorrow to get the results from DH sperm test and my u/s results hopefully we get the all clear and dont need IVF. DH and I have started since ovulation should be friday/saturday according to my ov watch. Haven't got any sticky CM yet though.
Hi All
I have been off line feeling VERY sorry for myself for the last couple of days and have almost caught up with all the news.
Ruthie - I totally get what you mean about people saying ridiculous things. People keep saying "at least you know you can get pregnant" and I turned to my girlfriend the other day and said NO - At MOST I know can get pg! Honestly when people start a sentence with "at least" and then go on to tell you about someone else who had a "worse" experience I want to scream. That and the ones that start "I know someone"...no false hope please. - Rant over, Hugs to you honey.
Hannah - taking all of what I just said and forgiving everyone who says it because who the hell knows what to say to people in pain. You are right I cringe at some of the things I must have said to people in the past. I have been thinking a lot about you honey and sending you much love.
Tam - fingers crossed all is well for you and DH - but even getting some answers will hopefully give you something to work with.
Emmykate - I had a girlfriend (we are no longer friends) who smoked and drank happily through her two pregnancies and was delighted her babies were underweight - there is seriously no justice sometimes.
Louise - Welcome and so sorry to hear of your loss. I think stunned is the best word to describe how I felt. Just horrified and lots of shouting WHY at the world. Darling we are all here to support you.
Joey - wonderful news - everytime I see a BFP I think oh yeah that's going to be me soon. Well done sweetheart!
AFM - going to my first counselling session on Thursday as I am not coping as well as I thought. Had a big meltdown b4 DP and I went out for dinner as a shirt I had bought didn't fit right as my bbs have shrunk so much and I could not believe how angry I got with DP. I realised that I was so angry at my body for letting me down and I was not dealing with it effectively. I have also been asked to come back to work but that will mean being in Bris with DP in Syds. I get so mad as when I was pg I knew the role I had and did not mind not working - now I am consumed by my uselessness. I don't really want to do anything and need to get myself motivated. I am going to Gwinganna on Sunday for a 5 day wellness retreat so here's hoping it sorts me out.
Love to you all - sorry if I have missed anyone
Adele
Adele i hope you have a relaxing time at the wellness retreat on the weekend. I think you must be such a strong woman to be doing as well as you are considering what you have been through. I am sure your partner is supportive and understands your emotions/rage/irrational thoughts. When you go through something so emotionally devastating it is definitely going to change the dynamic of your relationship and put extra pressure on you for a little while. You have to keep yourself at number 1.. and really focus on your own health and do what you need to do to keep sane. Everyone gets angry/upset/depressed when they suffer a horrible loss.
I keep saying time is the only means to heal these scars... by God i wished someone would fast foward the clock Healing is so much easier said than done. Take care and stay strong. Your strength and determination are demonstrated just by your countless posts and warm wishes to others. You are an inspiration. Good things will come to those who wait... even if we have experienced the bad things first. At least we do not wait alone.... all of us on this forum are waiting together.
mannie i feel the same... like everyone but me is probably fertile after m/c. Like DH and i could probably have sex every day for the next month and still not conceive....... must try and look at the positives though - at least there will be plenty of fun trying right
sorry i've been busy & havent been on since last week... hope everyone is well!
JOEY: CONGRATS! hope it will be a happy & healthy pg!
update on my iui: (jen) i havent had any feelings that i've conceived. the only difference in this cycle is im having very few cramps - previous cycles i've had them consistently around o day til af, so im thinking thats cos of the clomid & trigger injection. nothing interesting!
anyways thats my bit for today - sorry it's so short! i've got to give up the comp to my sisters...
hopefully i can be back tomorrow during work for more persies!
Thanks everyone for your kind welcomes. I hope for everyone too that we have a short stay here
Babyfever good luck with the tests.
Emmykate Rant away hun
Dellydoo good on you for taking the step for counselling. I hope it helps with the frustration you are feeling
Lou welcome hun and I am sorry to hear your loss. I am on cycle number 2 since my MC (had D&C at 8w5d after 10days of bleeding). I felt (and still do sometimes feel) sad! I felt empty and lost. I wondered why it couldnt be and why we could never meet our wee angel. I feel like I have let DH down and feel that I couldnt give him what he wants just as much as what I do. All I wanted to do was cry and have DH hold me!
The first cycle after my MC I wanted to TTC straight away, not to replace my angel but because I just so desperately want to be a mum. My Dr gave me the all clear so we did. Unfortunately here I am, cycle number 2 after MC and still waiting. I am feeling much better though about the MC. I still have my moments of sadness and emtpyness and wonder why my body let me down, but it does get easier I promise.
I dunno why, but I have lost a bit of hope this cycle. I dont know exactly if I have ov'ed. Early in the cycle I had heaps of EWCM but I've only a small amounts of it in the last 2 days. So I dunno!
everyone else. I hope everyone is having a great night?!
Emmykate - I don't think you're being *****y at all. Some women just don't realise how lucky they are. You should've heard some of the things DH had to say about some of the women he saw while i was in hospital for my D&C. From my room you could see the hospital entrance and he was shocked at the number of pregnant women smoking outside. One of them looked about 6 months (7 at most) and we had seen her in emergency 2 days earlier because her waters broke. Go figure!
Joey - Congratulations! We need you to keep in touch to give us hope around here.
Tam - I hope you get some answers soon.
Louise - I am so sorry for your loss. I think empty sums up how I felt and still feel now. I have bouts of sadness, crying, screaming, anger, frustration but emptiness is the one constant. I had a D&C and it was my first encounter with general anaesthetic. I felt completely disorientated after that. Some part of me kept hoping that it didn't happen. Afterall, I have no memory of it. But then there's the physical emptiness too.
Adele - I've been thinking of you too. I'm sorry that you're having a hard time A wellness retreat sounds perfect - I'm so jealous. Is your DP going too? It sounds like you could do with the time together. I can totally sympathise with feeling angry with your body. I didn't eat for about a week. I'd been forcing myself to eat when I didn't feel like it due to m/s for 4 weeks and I just didn't see the point in forcing myself if I wasn't hungry. It was only me that would suffer now. As long as DP lets you rant and rave and then holds you when you cry.
TRILLIONS of Babydust and positive vibes travelling your way xxxxx
Hi all, just wanted to drop by and see how you're going- always in the hope that this place will be empty or, if busy it will be due to celebrations of BFP's!!
Thanks for the thoughts Jen805, I haven't forgotten any of you, or how supportive and helpful the ladies are here. I still remember my darkest moments and am ever grateful to Angel, AJC, Canary etc for getting me through.
AFM 35 weeks tomorrow! Ready to pop I think :-) All is well, am back to work after our summer break- the kids at school are very excited about bubs which is sweet. Got 4 weeks (hopefully) till I go on Maternity leave...want to hang on as long as possible so I can have longer afterwards.
Take care, Good luck TTC and praying for more BFP's...always xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
nickster--Hey! So good to see you! Wow, 35 weeks!!!! I can't believe it!! Good for you for sticking in there with work--it's gotta be getting tough getting around! Wishing you a quick, pain-free delivery (yeah, right, but we can wish, can't we? ) Keep in touch--we miss hearing from you! and
Hannah, Mannie & Larz: Thank you for you thoughts and prayer. I'm hanging in there. Still crying. hubby and I sat down lat night and talked about it for the 1st time.. he broke down and we hugged and cried together. This is the first time he cries about all this. I'm still crying today.
Issy: Welcome back, thanks for the hugs.. I need them so much.
Louise: Welcome hun. My heart goes out to you after your loss as I too suffered my 3rd loss on 9-11-08. I am here for you.. not sure if I'm strong enough to give you strength.. but know I'm suffering with you.
Fifi: About the Doppler; I thought of it and mentioned it to the doc when I was 7 weeks ..he said I could get it but I wouldn't hear anything till after 15 weeks maybe 20. Waste of time.. most likely.
I wanted it for peace of mind.. yet my worst fears happened anyways.
It's all up to you.. but if you ask your doc even the sites where they are sold/ rented they all say it works best at 20 weeks and over. SUCKS!
It's your choice to get it.. but that's what the doc told me.
Good luck.. your baby will be ok. I know that.
Nickster: Welcome back and good luck with your baby. Wishing you the very best.
Me: All I can say is I'm hanging in there. Still crying, still aching.. when will it stop??? Dunno.. just it hurts. I have 5 days not pregnant anymore. it hurts more as the days pass.. I thought it was the other way around.. I seem to hurt more.
I'm so sorry I sound winy and clingy. all this sucks. It was a big shock..all m/c are.. just I really thought this was finally my happy ending. So on Nov am not looking forward to all the stupid lab work. shots, meds, scans, more meds, ALL OVER AGAIN. But like I said.. ANYTHING FOR A BABY!!!
I'm still hopeful for a 2009 baby. Maybe it can happen still.
Fifi-Theres a doppler you can get off line called angel sounds, There really cheep and are like Ulrasound technoligy. My friend could here her babys heart beat at 10 weeks on it... :-D Fetal Dopplers. Click on that and it will show you what it is..
Thanks Tam for the tip on the OV Watch Im going to google it now, I?d never hear d of it?.goodluck TTCing over next couple of days will be thinking of you! And if you do have to go through IVF that?s also positive because we are so lucky we have this technology these days. My girlfriend Relle came to visit me with her husband and he new IVF bub Ollie, he is so beautiful and so placid and they never thought they?d have him, hubby had leukemia at 18 and he was sterile cause of the chemo, well he?s now 40 had bub at 39 and he found he had swimmers!! What a miracle!! They got their forever baby on their 4th try at IVF. Relle also told me that her friend in the UK, Jules, is pregnant with twins from donor eggs given to her when docs told her she was infertile, she?s due any day and is so excited!she?s 40 the donor eggs were from a 30 year old & they fertilised on the first go!!! Lots to be said for young eggs ?..So where there?s a will there?s a way, and all of us should never give up because we will have our forever babies somehow!
Dellydoo ? Im sending out to you lots of hugs and motivational vibes, enjoy the retreat, would luv to know what its like Gwinganna have heard and read so much about it and its not too far to go for me either. Though Cairns is very relaxing most of the times, but not when stuck in a freezing air conditioned office.
Louise ? welcome, I know how hard this is for you, most of us here having gone through this once or a few times before. My experience was similar to yours, the first ultrasound at 6 weeks revealed a very fuzzy sac type circle and the stenographer told me it was passing so that was it, however then my hcg levels kept rising and was booked in for a D&C and they then cancelled it because they thought they?d seen something in another u/s which ended up being nothing at all anyway in the end they also thought maybe ectopic because of the rising levels however I started bleeding probably around week 8 and then really heavily bleeding passing clots etc and I had really bad period pain, this was the body expelling the pregnancy. I cried at the drop of a hat during that time, I screamed and blamed God why oh why was this happening to me??? But with the help of my darling husband and friends and this website I got over it, it will never leave me and I?ll always remember our first bub. But it does get better and you will have your forever baby too.
Emmykate ? goodluck ttcing I know it will happen for you Im sending you lots of stickyvibes!!!
To all the other girls Ruthie (not long til november each day it gets closer!!) Toccara (lots of hugs) Jen, Babyonboard , larz, joey, AJC,katiegirl, jenushka,babyfever (thanks for your advice will def start charting again when I get AF for the first time since m/c it?s a habit to hard to break been doing it for like 5 years) stickyvibes and lots of babydust to you all?have an awesome day?..
Babyfever, Mannie, and Larz! Hope you're all doing well. all around! Larz, hope the doppler works!
Ruthie--I promise it will get better! I that with each day it gets just a tiny bit easier than the last one. You're not being whiny--you're mourning, there's a huge difference! Don't feel guilty for venting your grief, we've all been there! Big
Well I thought I would post b4 going to FS appointment to get the results, its at 2pm. I am sooo nervous I feel sick DH said that if his results aren't any better he is going to give up as he doesn't want to go through the pain anymore and doesn't want to do IVF. I praying that everything is going to be okay.
Mannie They have the ov watches on special at the moment for $100 including 3 moths worth of sensors. Thats cheap I paid nearly $300 for mine. I have used the urine strips/maybe baby and doing BBT. I found the watch the easiest and most accurate. Thanks for telling me about your friends its great to see they finally got there little miracle and its great to hear success stories.
Larz Good luck with the Doppler let me know how it goes. When I was pg b4 my m/c I had researched them as I was thinking to buy one so I could re-assure myself every time I heard the heartbeat.
Babyfever :goodluck2: with the BT looking forward to seeing your results hope you get your BFP.
Jen goodluck only a few more days now until you can test. Hope you get your BFP this month and its a sticky lil jelly bean.
Louise As every day goes past it gets easier but you never forget. Just remember that we are here to support you through this hard time and your not on your own.
Ruthie Glad to see you have a wonderful supporting DH and that you are able to talk to each other. I hope you get all the answers you need in nov
Last edited by Tam83; September 17th, 2008 at 01:04 PM.
Goodluck TAM even if they aren't ok, DH will go through IVF with you, he'll be hurting for a while but will see that if thats the only option then Im sure he will go for it....GOODLUCK but Im sure it will be fine postive thinking!!!!
on friday
You have all been fantastic, and this roller-coaster ride wouldn't have been any where as easy without you.
sending you lots of 
since ovulation should be friday/saturday according to my ov watch. Haven't got any sticky CM yet though.
Healing is so much easier said than done. Take care and stay strong. Your strength and determination are demonstrated just by your countless posts and warm wishes to others. You are an inspiration. Good things will come to those who wait... even if we have experienced the bad things first. At least we do not wait alone.... all of us on this forum are waiting together.
everyone else. I hope everyone is having a great night?!
We need you to keep in touch to give us hope around here.
A wellness retreat sounds perfect - I'm so jealous. Is your DP going too? It sounds like you could do with the time together. I can totally sympathise with feeling angry with your body. I didn't eat for about a week. I'd been forcing myself to eat when I didn't feel like it due to m/s for 4 weeks and I just didn't see the point in forcing myself if I wasn't hungry. It was only me that would suffer now. As long as DP lets you rant and rave and then holds you when you cry.
Hi all, just wanted to drop by and see how you're going- always in the hope that this place will be empty or, if busy it will be due to celebrations of BFP's!!
) Keep in touch--we miss hearing from you! 
hubby and I sat down lat night and talked about it for the 1st time.. he broke down and we hugged and cried together. This is the first time he cries about all this. I'm still crying today.
As every day goes past it gets easier but you never forget. Just remember that we are here to support you through this hard time and your not on your own. 
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