TTC after Miscarriage or Loss ~ July 07 #2

[pash]

Hi Clairabel, thanks for ur friend's story. I allowed myself to think this just one time then put it out of my mind. I'm seeing a gyn for a scan today and thought, wouldn't it be nice if there was another healthy bub lurking somewhere. Be better than it turning out that one of the twins was a partial mole. But realistically, I don't think anything could have survived the 2 D&Cs, IV anti-biotics, iron supplements, etc. I am still passing clots (sorry if TMI), so the HCG is prob just "retained product".

I am so over it all. I've been m/c for over 4 weeks now, and just want it to end. More than that, I just want to have a baby, or 2 or 3! I don't care about ttc or falling pg, I just want kids. I keep doing sad (and psychotic) things like looking at baby stuff & going to the Johnsons & Johnsons website! *sigh* I wish I could skip all this and land on the otherside with a scrummy soft bub in my arms.

Hope you're going well. I've been stalking you in the PAML! At how many weeks should the doppler pick up heartbeats? I didn't realise that that was something ppl could do at home & without med training etc.

Will BBL after the scan. Am afraid the gyn will recommend another D&C or more IV anti-biotics, or my deepest fear, chemo

[Leyla]

Hi Ladies,

Kerry, Zionsmum, Lizjessie, Kiwigirl, Satya, Cherie26, Penny, Megsmum, Pash, and Claireabel - thanks so much for your well wishes and sticky vibes, I can use all the positive thinking I can get. I'm trying really hard to be positive about this, as I believe that being positive can achieve big things. Even if this one does not stick, being excited about it and loving this little one as much as I can in whatever time I have with it has got to be better than expecting the worst. So thanks for being so lovely, its really helped me to calm down a little bit and try to be more positive.

Zionsmum - Not everyone gets a BFP at 12DPO, there is still hope! With my first pg I did not get a positive unti 19 DPO, so there is plenty of time yet. Best of luck.

Satya - the mood swings and zits sound like very good signs to me, best of luck honey, you deserve a nice strong line when you test.

Pash - I can't believe how lovely and supportive you have been to everyone! You have been going through hell, and it must be really hard to come in here and be as positive as you have been. You are a sweetie! I hope that things work out for you really soon.

Treelo - What a stupid cow! How could she say something so insensitive. So sorry that you have to put up with people like that. Hope you are doing ok.

Cherie26 - so sorry about nasty AF Have a good cry... it always helps me out. Nothing worse than pretending you are ok when all you want to do is chuck a good tanty.

Kiwigirl - I'm with you on the BD thing. DH and I can barely look at eachother after O time. Sucks big time.

LizJessie - Sorry honey! I was totally going off your ticker and just assumed that you must have O'ed by now. I've seen loads of girls come through this thread and fall pg without every getting AF so it definately happens. Best of luck. Most chemists sell digital ovulation thermometers (about $15=20). They are the best, but any one that goes to 2 decimal places will do. You should join up with Fertility Friend, it really helps with charting.

Nothing much to tell with me except I've made an appointment with my GP for Friday to get some bloods taken so will know more early next week.

love

[Lee]

Hi ladies,

Pash - hello! just to answer your question - I was at a private hospital - and fooled into believing I was in the best place, getting the best care. I was wrong. I had a really hard induced/posterior birth - and towards the end, was in agony in my back and needed an epidurhal - they only had an aneathetist on call and he was at the other private hospital doing one there - so never made it to me. It was crap that I was unable to get the pain relief I needed, and could have also put my bub under extra stress, which contributed him swalling gunk, and in turn developing pneomonia. So, all of you, beware when you do have your babies (and you WILL!!) and check out everything a private hospital can offer - it's often not better. I think with this Bub, I will have my first cesarean - which scares me, but I just can't do another posterior birth, and I'll certainly have every contingency covered with a paediatrician at the birth. Thanks for asking Pash - we are hanging in there. You are having such a tough time emotionally and physically. Pray it's "over" soon, or at least you are physically on the mend, the emotions are another story. Let us know how your appointment goes. Big hugs

Hi Claireabel - I seem to be "hanging" in a few places there days, but not hard to find me! So glad you are well! I have never been a person to accept crap service - which is effectively what we were served up - my DH and I have recently written to the hospital - and depending on their response - we will bring in the lawyers. It's all I can do for my little man now. I owe them nothing, and their systems need overhauling. I can be strong and put up a rational case, it's just the missing my bub that kills me. Take care

Hi to all the ladies - sorry to waffle on in your thread.

Zionsmum - I'm SO wondering how you are - hopefully you will get a BFP in a day or two!!

Satya - how's the zits and bad moods - good signs You just never know........!

Hugs.

Lee xo

[Lee]

Sorry Leyla - remiss of me - HUGEST congratulations on your BFP - I think your attitude is FANTASTIC - we must all enjoy the things we love while we have them - sadly we just don't know how long this will be for. In your bubs case - probably 90 or 100 years really happy for you!

Lee xo

[zionsmom]

I will do a couple personals later...

although Treelo I am so incredibly sorry for that woman.

OK truth... I don't know why but I am not doing well Yesterday my AF was supposed to come and it didn't which is a good thing I guess but I took a test in the evening even though I said I wasn't going to and it was neg. even though my AF wasn't there it just made me so sad. I cried and cried, I didn't expect to act that way at all. My DH had a softball game last night and I went but after 5 min. I had to leave because I was starting to cry again! I went home and at 8:30 pm I took some tylenol pm which just knocks me out and slept until now and its 9:30am. I have heard that 90% of women will test positive on the day of their missed period I don't think it matters if its in the evening. So I am upset because I think that my period is going to skip a month and come in early August, BUT if it does that than does that change when I have been ovulating????? Does anyone know? I am majorly depressed right now, Sorry to be so self absorbed girls...

[satya]

Treelo - OMG - that is unbelievable - what's wrong with the woman????? Sending
Not all women get O pain so don't worry if you don't notice it. Mine is different to AF pain and is localised to one side and can last from a few minutes to several hours. It's more of an ache rather than a cramp that you get with AF. I don't get it every cycle, even though I do appear to be ovulating.

Zionsmom - Using your statistics that still means that 10% of women will test positive after their AF is due right? Stop stressing. It's very unlikely you will skip a whole AF. You will either get a positive HPT in a couple more days or your AF will arrive.... hopefully it will not be the latter. Just try to keep calm and wait and see what happens.

Hi to everyone else. Having trouble concentrating today so sorry for not many personals.



I'm feeling much better today, but I am really tired. I'm stressed about how on earth I'm going to get through all the work I have to get through today, but I'm sure I'll get through it somehow. The comments my insensitive colleague made yesterday were about how great it would to be pregnant (yes I know how great it is, I should be 23 weeks now but instead I'm back to the drawing board) and how pretty much everyone is going to die of cancer eventually (I really don't need to hear this right now when both my parents have it). I had two lots of tears yesterday, anger at the dogs, anger at my partner for something I wouldn't normal be bothered about. I'm feeling far more emotionally stable today, so let's hope it stays that way. 7DPO for me right now.

[treelo]

Hi Ladies,
Well im so glad i dont have to go to work today, although im not looking forward to the housework i have to do either !!!

Pash - I hope the scan gives you some answers, you are going through so much right now, hugs to you.

Leyla - Your attitude is amazing, im praying this one sticks for you.

Satya - I know what you mean about dogs, we have an 8 week old puppy and she is driving me nuts, i forgot how much puppies chew!! Just take each hour as it comes today hun and im sure you will get through it. Sending you big hugs to get you through today.

Lizjessie - Did you get your thermometer? If i dont get pg this time, im going to buy one too.

Zionsmom - Im still crossing everything for you, there is still hope, the hormones are stronger first thing in the morning, maybe thats a better time to do it. Hugs to you.

Penny - How is the plan going??? Has he figurer out what your up to yet?

Hello to everyone else and i hope you all have a great day.

hugs
treelo

[kiwigirl]

Hi Diane,

Hope you're doing OK today. I've cried when I got a negative test and/or when I got AF. It's a tough emotional rollercoaster eh? Hang in there...thinking of you,

Rachel

[zionsmom]

Thanks Satya, Treelo and Kiwigirl I know your all right and I just feel different this month. I keep telling myself that I am not pg so I won't be too disappointed if AF comes but Satya your right stressing isn't going to make AF come sooner. The stats I provided came from the test I took, so still no AF just kinda wet and a little bit of cm on my underwear. Wait another day I guess

[Sequoia]

Leyla – wonderful news!!! Hope these are stickies for us both!! I’m very happy for you!

Timnik77 – thankyou for you good wishes! Glad the Clomid is working for you. Did your Dr say what sort of testing you will have next?

LizJessie – thanks hun. Hope you are going okay.

Zionsmom – how are you holding up hun? I’m sorry you feel so sad.

Kiwigirl – urgh! I know what it’s like. Since O day, we’ve DTD once. TTC really takes the romance out of it.

Satya – gees, you’ve really got the pick of the bunch when it comes to work colleagues! Why are people so insensitive??? Hope your week is getting better.

Cherie26 – I’m sorry AF arrived. *hugs* Hopefully, this cycle is a success.

Megsmum – ooh, I hope the Clomid works for you and not too many side effects.

Penny – I’ve seen an iridologist who diagnosed a problem for which I sought specialist help, but not a naturopath. Glad you were happy with your appt.

Treelo – WHAT?? Who would say such a thing? I am so sorry for that stupid woman. What did you say to her? I would have been too shocked to say anything. O pain – well, I didn’t even know you get O pain until I came off the BCP! Obviously, yes, I usually get it on one side and lasts about 12 hours for me. Can be so intense I double over in pain. In saying that, I don’t get period pain since I came off the pill. Go figure.

Pash – I think we will tell my immediate family next week. They know about the MC and have been incredible. Won’t tell anyone else (including DH’s family) until 12 week scan and OB appt. They don’t know about the MC and the less people that know in case something goes wrong, the better. I don’t think those things are sad. I have some really cute baby clothes stashed away, including a pink Peter Alexander outfit with “Does this nappy make my bum look big?” written on the bottom of the short set. *sigh* Will be totally useless to me if I have a boy! How did your scan go? Wait, did I read correctly? Chemo??? Hope you are okay….please let us know ASAP.

Claireabel – thanks hun, hope we can join you all soon.

Salty – glad you are back. Thanks for your warm wishes. Now about you, I read your last thread about TTC (sorry I sound vague). Have you thought about seeing Dr Aitken for an assessment cycle? It’s just BT’s. I found them really helpful, especially this cycle. I thought I O’d on CD16, but with the BT’s I O’d on CD19. We were so sick of BD’ing but we pushed through. I’m glad we did. I’ve been in no mood to wait to get serious about TTC so if we weren’t pregnant by October I would have requested some more intervention. Sounds OTT, but I was getting desperate. You really don’t see Mike, only his nurses, and they are all great. I think an assessment cycle costs about $166.00. In saying all that, I hope you have a successful cycle this time around.

Me – did another HPT yesterday morning and got a nice strong second line. Called my FS clinic, the nurse was so excited! I think she was more excited than me. Had a BT this morning to check my HCG and will find out tomorrow what the results are. According to the nurse I am 4 weeks and 1 day today. EDD is 3 April 2008. I’ve stupidly made the 12 week OB appt and 12 week scan appt. My OB of choice gets booked out way in advance so I feel a bit silly, especially when I know it can go pear shaped in a moment’s notice. Have an appt on Saturday with my GP to get referrals and the like.

Will try and update tomorrow but have back to back meetings all day. Otherwise, will be back on Sunday.

[ElleJay]

satya - Thanks for that, I'm going to make sure I buy a thermometer tonight - I forgot to buy one the other day!

cherie26 - Your month will come You've just got to stay positive about it!

Penny - How much different is the Fahrenheit thermometer to a Celsius one?

pash - Now THAT is a caring partner! My first m/c was with my ex. We had been trying for the two and a half years we were together. After we broke up, I was pg, but m/c it at 4 weeks, and it was such a relief!
This is my 2nd m/c and DP was with me the whole way. We told all our friends, and then two days later, we had to tell them that everything was taken away from us. We even had the insensitive ones that were like 'Why bother telling us?' - I literally could have stabbed them!

Leyla - The power of positive thinking does wonders! Congrats again!
I'm actually a member of FF, but I'm not too sure on how to do things on there

Treelo - How insensitive can people be!? Can I come and smack her across the head for you?? j/k
I haven't gotten one just yet, but I'll let you know when I get one and I'll keep everyone updated. I might even start putting temperatures in my journal like I'm doing with my water intake

Shoegal - I'm doing ok, how you? I'm still feeling rather sick, but it's subsiding the slightest

As for me?
Still feeling sick, getting clumsier by the day and eating like I've never ate before! Smells are coming stronger to me and my bb are getting sorer and sorer by the day *sighs* I hope I am pg!

[Sequoia]

Shoegal – I am just about ready to call Mike Aitken for help. As soon as AF arrives (stay away AF!!!) I’m calling his rooms and getting the earliest appointment I can. What day of your cycle do you have to start the BTs on? I am going to NZ in mid-October, so would be great if I could get two cycles in before then that are being tracked.

Salt - keep in mind he only sees TTC patients at Bethesda on a Tuesday afternoon from 1 til 5 I think. It took us about 4 weeks to get the next available appt! You'll need a referral from your GP.

With BT's, you call the clinic on the day AF arrives (before 12 noon is considered CD1). You'll then be sent for BT's on CD2 of your cycle. With the first assessment cycle, I think you might have to lay down for 30 mins before they can take blood for baseline levels. In Perth, ovulation tracking patients get priority at a lot of collection centres provided you turn up before certain times which is certainly very helpful if you are on your way to work!

For me, I have a 32 day cycle. The cycle when I MC’d, I had BT’s as below; the numbers next to them indicate my oestrogen level:

CD 9 - 200
CD11 - 220
CD13 - 360
CD15 - 765
CD17 – 1065

Your oestrogen needs to be over 1000 to ovulate.

For this cycle now when I got my BFP, this is it detailed below:

CD9 - 120
CD12 - 200
CD15 - 320
CD18 - 910

I thought I O’d the same day each cycle, but apparently not. Some women have oestrogen that rise steadily but mine shoots up just before O’ing.

I also don’t get much CM so I have no idea when I O, just O pain so I found it really helpful in pinpointing O.

I hope this helps you.

ETA - oh I forgot to say you go for a BT 1 week after O to ascertain if have O'd or not. Plus the nurses tell you when to BD over O time, it’s realllllllly romantic, NOT!

[Sequoia]

Salt - no worries, I am more than happy to help. It's actually kind of interesting seeing your levels go up. Plus, no temp taking and OPK's, much easier this way if you don't mind being a pin cushion!

[satya]

Treelo - hope you had a nice day off.

Salt - pretty much every insensitive thing that's been said to me is by the one girl at work. If I could get away with slapping her without being sacked I would've done it by now. I have to work very closely with her. It's a very good sign having your temp go up so late in your cycle & the cramps might not be AF ones.... only time will tell of course.

Shoegal - it's not like I'm surrounded by insensitive people - it's just the one woman. She has no idea she's upsetting me either. If it keeps happening I'm going to have to tell her somehow. You are not stupid for making the appointments - just well prepared.

LIz Jessie - Your symptoms are sounding very promising.


More symptoms arrived today - hot flushes on and off for most of the day. I also almost vomited once today, but I think that was more from eating myself silly all day than from anything else.... I just couldn't stop eating. I did some really silly things at work and was very forgetful. I've had all these symptoms before and not been pregnant so I'm not reading anything into it yet.

[ElleJay]

I wonder - someone said that breakout of pimples is a good sign as well... A good sign for what?
My skin is gotten drier as well which is driving me nuts

satya - wouldn't it be fantastic if both you and I got a together?

saltprincess - thanks! I'm hoping they are good!

[zionsmom]

Thanks Shoegal and everyone else. Shoegal I'm glad your hpt was so strong and I am sure your levels are going to come back as great!

I have decided to go on a BB hiatus for a while, I still haven't got AF BUT I am 2 days late and with both of my previous pregnancies they showed up when I was a couple days late so I am ok with another BFN this month. I think I obsesses soooooo much over it, plus with the stress of school I made myself late. I am ok with not being pregnant this month, I mean heck this is the first month of ttc since the mc so its ok. At this point I just want to get my AF so I can move on to another cycle. Good luck all and I might lurk every other week or so and I will definately update if theres any big news unless of course all of you are already in PAML thread.

Diane

[missbelinda77]

Hi everyone, just thought I would pop in and congratulate Shoegal & Leyla!! Congratulations to you both - sending lots of sticky vibes your way!

I'm stepping out of the TTC thread for a while as we are on a break. My ob/gyn confirmed that I had another miscarriage in June around 6wks - and I didn't even know I was pregnant - thought the bleeding was AF, until the clots got out of control. Still bleeding at the moment and will be going in for surgery shortly to clear everything out and have the ovarian drilling procedure before we start TTC again. So I guess I'll be back in a few months

Take care everyone, and I can't wait to read about all your BFP's!

Belinda

[ElleJay]

Good luck with everything missbelinda