LisJessie - sorry about my previous reply to you . I just read your last post - I didn't realise that you have decided to maybe wait a while with ttc
Hope you feel better soon!
Nothing like a day at the races to help forget about everything !! The kids had a ball and so did I. And i only lost $3.00...woohoo !!!!!
Hope everyone is enjoying the weekend....I have to go back to work on Monday, first day back since the M/C...its gonna be hard.
Kim got her period today 12 dpo. We are starting 100mg Clomid on Monday. Our Dr said we might be overdoing it a bit because she responds well to 50mg, but we will see how we go. Yeah, here we go again. We both had a few little cries today, went shopping after work together and bought lots of bad stuff like chocolate and icecream and chips and dip. This is getting really hard to keep doing. Thank you everyone for your best wishes tho... i'm off to bed to cuddle my girl.
Satya I guess we don't want to make the decision to come home an emotional one. And our plan had always been to come back pregnant, so if we went back now, I think we might feel like total abysmal failures once we got back, IYKWIM. Wow, I knew IVF was expensive, but I didn't realise how much! I hope it is cheaper for you too! BTW on Thu, I had the pregnant lady & 4 ppl all standing round my desk chatting about pg & giving birth. I was very proud of myself for not being angry (none of them know) & bitter. Also, I realised that everyone else has good stories, now, from BB, I know so many sad stories. Anyway, sounds like you've got loads of delish BD coming your way, hope you catch the egg! treelo Have your belly pains stopped? Glad you spoke to DH about BD again. Its good to know his real reasons. My DH is unsure about TTC and wants to wait for a couple of months, and he's nervous about breaking/infecting something inside me. He also hates being thought of as a sperm dispenser and thinks timing sex takes the romance/passion out of baby making. Oh, and I named my bubs too & hoped that as they grew up, those names would be nick names. Let us know how you go on Mon. TTBP How frustrating. When in Aug is your FS appt? Are there drugs that help with ovulation? I hope you feel more +ve. Lee You're right, I have an interview on Mon, without even sending out my cv, so I guess thats a +ve. Hey, did I read you're in Hobart? My in-laws are taswegians (by sea change). If you want to get away, maybe try a weekend away in Bicheno I know a couple of nice places to stay. PS I'm a recent convert to the BLT & streaky bacon too! LizJessie DH & I told all our friends & family about our first pg at 8wks and the next week we were told there was no heartbeat. It did feel really embarassing, but what really hurt was that a fw 'friends' said that we shouldn't have announced it to everyone. Still don't know whether they didn't want to know, or if they thought it would actually have chnaged the outcome. But this type of thing brings in focus who ur real friends are. I hope you have some good support around you. Shoegal About the tests, at first they are doing rubella & blood group tests on me, and chromosome tests on both me & DH. I have no idea what tests they will do at the actual appt, but I'll keep you posted. I think the chromosome tests are hilarious, cos I think they are meant to make sure that DH & I aren't brother & sister. Only, I'm Indian, and DH is a white first-fleeter! Our parents have really been lying to us if we do turn out to be related! Good luck with the HPT tomorrow, I look forward to some good news! SweetPetite I am so glad that u feel better. How was the weekend with the fam? BritKane I'm glad to hear that you and DP are talking things through. M/c & ttc is a tough thing for a relationship to go thru. Diane awww I'm sorry you were a bit down after your friends visit. It is hard when you feel sad at times when you don't want to feel sad. I hope you get a BFP on Wed, at least there has been no sign of AF so far Leyla lol "I'm in London Still" can get me boohooing at the best of times! Sounds promising, I bet your MIA time has been used for some quality BD-ing. What's ur testing strategy? Faith Welcome. My gyn said that the first couple of AFs can be heavier/lighter than usual, and that is normal. 2mums Its scary how little the docs actually know. I have heard so many times that the most common reason for m/c is chromosomal abnormalities or that if you see a heartbeat at the scan, that you have a +90% chance of going to term. But then you read about ppl where it hasn't gone that way, or are one of those ppl, and you wonder whether the stats the docs feed you are just BS. Sometimes I find the bad luck explanation really hard to take. There has to be a scientific reason things don't work, and the docs just don't know. Sorry about the rant, hope things are going well for you both. Penny Its good that you can be so philosophical about your loss (rather than a cranky b1tch trying to blame the docs, like moi *sheepish-grin*).
Everyone I have a question that's been going round my head for the last couple of days. Which is better, to not fall pg at all (say over the last few months), or to fall pg & m/c? What do you think?
I chucked a huge hissy fit at the hospital blood clinic on Wed I had gone to the hospital clinic in the morning to get my HCG test (had to wait an hour). Then went to the GP, who only knew how to organise the rubella & blood grp test, but DH & I also needed chromosome tests. So I went to the local clinic who did the tests and said they could do the chromosome test too. Went back to the GP who had figured out how to order the chromosome test. Went back to the local clinic, where a different person said that they couldn't do the test, we had to go to the hospital. So DH & I went to the hospital, where we waited, and then were told that the GP had filled out the wrong form!!! ARRRRRRGGGH! I lost it! After tears and a tantrum, they did the test anyway. I felt a bit ashamed afterwards though.
Anyway, have only the HCG results back, and its not good. My HCG levels have gone up a tiny bit from last week. They still think the twins weren't molar, but don't know why my HCg isn't dropping. SO I'm having another scan on Wed. I am so over all this
But aside from that things are good. Had my first Brick Lane curry with a couple of friends on Thu night. The curry was awful, but it was good to have a night with friends after a bit of bad news. And I have a job interview on Mon!
Twomums - sorry that it wasn't your month again this month. It really does get harder the longer you have to keep TTCing. I've had 10 years of unsuccessful TTCing now (only about 18 months of it so far with my new partner) so I've got a lot better at handling it, but I remember how bad I used to be in the early years. I expect I'll end up very down again soon if I'm not successful on my own and have to have IVF.
Susan - glad things are on the mend. Good luck with it all.
Sharon - Hope your AF has left the building. Fingers crossed for you this cycle.
I'm now 3DPO CD16 and am waiting for all the stupid fake symptoms I get to start as they usually start at 3DPO. I guess I should start calling them post O symptoms as that's what they must be.
Treelo - Disagreements about BDing are very common after m/c and with long term TTC so don't stress too much about it.
LizJessie - some people say that TTCing straight after a m/c can increase your chances of another m/c so maybe it is a good idea to wait. The other problem with TTCing straight away is that if you do have another m/c you will probably not handle it as well as you would have if you had waited until you were both ready to try again.
Penny - I think you are supposed to have at least 3 hours straight sleep before temping to get an accurate temp so that could be causing your fluctuations.
Pash - You did well to get thru all that pg talk unscathed. Your question is a hard one. On one hand I think having only had two pregnancies & subsequent m/c in 10+ years has made things easier for me than if I'd had a dozen or so m/c in that time. On the other it may have actually made it harder as I find it hard to imagine I'm ever going to pregnant again as it just takes so long for me to conceive and I'm running out of time. At least if I got pregnant every few months I would think well one of these pregnancies will eventually work. That's weird about your HCG level. I hope the scan shows something that will explain that level.
Pash - The belly pains have started to go away, and im feeling abit better now.
Megan - Best of luck for what lays ahead. I hope you will have some positive news soon.
Today i lost it. I am the manager for my sons Under 7 football team and i just didnt cope at all. One mum asked how the morning sickness is going, another told me i shouldnt be running around since i was pregnant, and well another one just had to walk in front of me and i lost it (she is eight months pregnant).
I dont know who i felt worse for though, me for having to tell them i lost it, or them for the sheer embarrassment they must have felt when i told them.
And the worst thing is that tomorrow, i will have to go through all this again when i go back to work.
Treelo, big hugs for you, honey. So many tears to be shed. Especially with the hormonal rollercoaster post m/c. I'll be thinking of you tomorrow. It does help to tell a couple of close friends and let them run interference for you. It's so hard though. I got all teary looking at the cute kindies playing on my first morning back at school while I was on primary playground duty. Hugs are good. More hugs for you. *HUG* *HUG* *HUG*
Satya, hope your keep-the-BD-going plan works for you this cycle. You've had such a long wait. IKWYM about the fear that time is running out. If only we had known in our 20s what we know now. Last year I borrowed a book about pregnancy for the over 35s and it had personal stories by people like Juanita Phillips (ABC newsreader for those of you not in NSW) and it gave me a boost of hope. It's so hard to remain positive though.
Pash, love your posts It's nice to have our London connections on BB. I have family in London (actually my Mum and step-father are there at the moment visiting) and I've thought of doing something with my dual citizenship a few times over the years. Good luck with your job interview tomorrow. And I'll be thinking of you on Wednesday when you have your scan. Hope all goes well
2mums, sorry AF arrived. I'm already thinking gelati, chocolate and other general foodie heavenly delights as I don't think this cycle is mine, either. At least the weather's right for comfort food and comfort cuddles.
Penny, if you click on the user profile button in the links at the top of the page, you will see a control panel on the left hand side. Under settings and options, there's a link for edit signature. Have a play in there! Are you charting on Fertility Friend? If you are, go to sharing and click on home page setup. Hope that helps! If you're on Messenger, I can walk you through it step by step, if you like.
LizJessie, hope you're starting to feel better. It's a long haul. Hugs.
Sharon, glad AF is on her way out the door for you. I've been thinking of you.
Britkane, I'm so sorry you're going through a rocky patch. It's such a hard time. Counselling is a great step forward. Hope you are able to mend those bridges and that your relationship is made stronger. Going through these things really makes you think hard about what's important, doesn't it.
Welcome to the thread, Faith. Sorry for your loss. It takes a while for things to normalise. Are you charting your temperatures? Good luck with your TTC journey, too.
Hello to Shoegal, Kiwigirl, Zionsmum, Sienna, Sweetpetite, Leyla and everyone else! Hope you've all been enjoying your weekend.
Anyone interested in chart stalking? I'm not very hopeful of a BFP with two days of temperature drops and no symptoms. Just hoping to see a 14-day luteal phase at this point. What do you think?
Thanks Satya and Kbowman, i really appreciate the thoughts and all those precious hugs.
I have just done a pregnancy test to make sure that i dont have any pregnancy stuff left in me and its negative, and although sad to look at, it also makes me happy because it means that if i happen to do one in 3 weeks time and its positive, then it will because i will be pregnant and i wont get excited for nothing.
So now my plan.....i just told my poor DH what my plan was and his reply was "what is the meaning of this maddness ????" And im sure this is going to sound totally crazy but then again....im feeling pretty crazy these days.
But anyway......we are going to BD every second day for the next 3 weeks or until AF comes. Why ?? because i know nothing much at all about MY cycle and cervical mucus?? and tempretures??? im totally in the dark. Right now i feel WET but its not sticky or anything?? so if anyone can help tell me what that means then i would be gratefull.
All i know is that i could ovulate anytime a week after the m/c and so im hoping that by BDing every second day then i should have a great chance of there being enough swimmers up there to catch the egg when it decides to come out.
So thats the plan....please tell me if im an absolute nut case....my DH would love for you to tell me that....but im praying that it will work.
Im going to try to be brave tomorrow and not cry..but who am i kidding...ill cry.
hugs hugs hugs to all you wonderful ladies that have kept my sanity in the past week, you are all truly special people and i thank you from the bottom of my heart.
kbowman - I knew plenty about fertility in my 20's & 30's and charted back then too. Unfortunately when you have unexplained infertility that's just not enough, but I was ever hopeful that we would get another BFP without medical intervention - even though IVF was recommended when I was I think around 30 or 31. I am thankful that I didn't have a child with my ex as we are no longer together and I would have had to raise the child without any financial assistance from him, so my life would have been completely different to the life I have had. With the recent pregnancy taking 9 months to achieve I now know that I can't leave it to chance and I have to get some help and it's just not so hard to digest that fact this time around. I had a look at your chart and I'm sorry to say it but I think your AF will be here very soon. My chart dipped like that for I think 3 days last cycle & then on she came.
Treelo - I like your plan of BDing every second day but I think you might find it hard to keep up for 3 weeks in a row... one of you is sure to get tired (probably your other half) and a lot of guys find it very hard to perform like that.... even if they normally like it every day. It's somehow different when they are told they need to perform in a certain way. I'd suggest buying a digital thermometer (about $15 from a chemist) and start taking your temp every morning when you wake up. Just set an alarm so you wake up the same time every day & do it before you get out of bed. After O you will see that your temp goes up by about .3 of a degree or more. After 3 days of staying high you can safely assume you have O'd and then the pressure is off and you can get back to BDing when you both actually feel like it, rather than when you feel that you have to. You can use FF to record your temps and keep a record of your cycles. This takes the guess work out of it for you as the charting software will pinpoint when you O from your temps. If you are feeling wet you could well either fertile now or coming into a fertile patch.
Good luck to everyone this cycle. Let's hope there are heaps of BFPs in here again soon.
Treelo - Can you call me crazy if I've kept the pg test that had a positive? It was a turning point in my life and I kept the stick that showed positive (although it is clean)
Penny - Thanks for the good luck, he's the one that wants to wait, although I don't really. But whatever makes DP happy, then I'm probably gonna follow
pash - Yeah, we told our friends the day after I passed the big clot with a white bubble in it (tmi I know, sorry), because I was still so sure I was pg. Two days later I had to tell everyone that I m/c'ed. Majority of them said, 'Maybe you should have waited to tell us' and I was so angry at that - here I was sharing some fantastic news with them + even though the baby was gone, it was still a part of me. I actually felt like getting into a physical fist fight with them!
satya - My DP and I actually asked our doc about that after I found out I m/c'ed and he said 'Nope, not true at all' He's a pg and birthing specialist (how ironic) and he said that he knows of alot of women that have come to him, had a m/c and gotten pg three weeks later, only to go on and have a healthy baby - so there is still hope yet! :P
He also told me it varies person to person
LizJessie - all docs seem to have a different view on it but most prefer you to wait one cycle so that they can date the next pg properly if you do fall pg soon after. I didn't wait at all, just got straight back in there.... not that it's done me any good, here I still sit waiting.
I think it's more a problem of if you have some sort of problem (yet undiagnosed) and you do get pregnant very quickly after a m/c and then lose that one too it tends to hit you very hard indeed. I've seen this happen a few times in the time I've been hanging around in this thread since March. I just think that everyone needs to wait as long as both they and their partner need before TTC again so that they are mentally prepared for what is next to come - a pg, a m/c or long term ttc.
Just dropping in to wish PASH the best best of British with her job interview tomorrow! I hope this is the start of only good news from you Pash! Re. your question - all I can say is what else can anyone do but try try again? This is my attitude - of course it leaves us open to more loss or disappointment - it's a risk - I reckon it's the only true course of action in life. I am so scared my baby will die, it's like in my mind I seem to believe "this is what happens" - it's absurd and irrational, but based on past experience. I pray I'm wrong. So, once you have got to the bottom of why your levels are rising and all test results are back and you get the all clear to go for it - we'll all be here cheering you on!!
Hey Satya - you sound good! I'm not too worried about you right now! I think your close to some good news too!
Hello to everyone else, dropping some positive vibes in here.
I'm ok, had a pretty quiet weekend with the paper by the fire, eating lots, just passed 10 weeks, will be happy to get a few more weeks under my belt though.
aw hun your not crazy. I have mine too, from the very faint positive tests to the last really dark one. and i will never throw them out, because its the only physical thing i have left as proof of the eight and a half precious weeks that she was with me. I dont think there is anything wrong with hanging on to that. You need to do whatever is good for you, and what other people think is not an issue. Be true to yourself.
Treelo & Lizjessie - I think most of us still have our positive HPTs ..... I've got a few stashed in my bathroom from the last m/c, but had to chuck out the digital one of course. I reckon if I looked hard enough I'd probably still have the HPT from my first pg & subsequent m/c which was around 10 years ago but having moved a couple of times since then I don't know where it is.... I just know I wouldn't have thrown it out.
treelo - what an awful experience on the football field. I know how hard it is - I send many hugs your way...
I think your strategy of bding every second day sounds good, I am doing the same thing given that my temps are all over the place probably due to not enough sleep before taking the measurement (thanks for the info, Satya!).
Lisjessie - I wish I had kept mine, you are lucky that you hung onto it.
kbowman - thanks for the technical info, I will have a look and hopeful work it out... I don't have messenger, but we are on Skype.
Pash - don't feel bad about loosing it at the hospital, I would have done exactly the same... Good luck for your job interview tomorrow! It is nice to hear from London - I used to live there for 2 years (in Muswell Hill) and met my DH over there.
Hello to everybody and enjoy the rest of the weekend!
Lee - no need to worry about me, I am a survivor. I have a few bad days and then I'm back up there again. I'm always good in the second half of my cycle.... thinking just maybe this will be the lucky cycle..... and then AF arrives and back down I plunge again. I know exactly what to expect now and that helps me get through it. I'm so glad to see all is well with you.
. I just read your last post - I didn't realise that you have decided to maybe wait a while with ttc
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I know a couple of nice places to stay. PS I'm a recent convert to the BLT & streaky bacon too!
It's nice to have our London connections on BB. I have family in London (actually my Mum and step-father are there at the moment visiting) and I've thought of doing something with my dual citizenship a few times over the years. Good luck with your job interview tomorrow. And I'll be thinking of you on Wednesday when you have your scan. Hope all goes well
It takes a while for things to normalise. Are you charting your temperatures? Good luck with your TTC journey, too.
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