TTC after Miscarriage or Loss ~ March 08 #2

[Brockstar]

Brockstar, As crazy as this may sound, all of your symptoms are wonderful. This morning my breast was hurting and I was like Yes!.

Oh Magda, I know! I also promised myself that if this one was a sticky one, that I would NOT COMPLAIN about any of it. But by gees, I've been sick!! As much as it sux feeling like this, it's also a good feeling as well.

But I'm STILL NOT PREPARED to post in PAML thread or add a ticker until I've seen the heartbeat.

[plc1805]

I'm sorry I just cannot catch-up with everyone - there's no way I can do that mammoth post again and, as a result, I feel like I am failing u all by not being able to keep up I just feel for everyone in here. The BFP successes are like it is that much closer to happening to me!! The BFNs are so disappointing and I feel them too. The anticipation of those going in for procedures is almost too much to bare. The words of encouragement from some to others are like words of encouragement for me too. And I am also LEARNING so much from u all and drawing from ur strength and I feel bad that I can't always give as much in return, try as I might. I am in limbo in my own situation (altho we were VERY VERY naughty last night and did not use a condom but should be ok i think) but from next cycle on when we can actively TTC, if I get a BFP u can sure as heck bet that I'll be sharing it with u all first.

Angelbabies - bday buddy - u wanted details hun - there's not much more to say. Just hanging out for green light on 15 April, the ap has told me my kidney energies are unblocked and have improved heaps with general well-being, the naturopath has said all is good to go to. So 18 more sleeps.....
Hugs to u hun - blanket u and ur hubby in love and we'll see what results from ur time under the blanket

[bettyboop]

i thought yesterday was a bad day but it gets worse, my sister has just told me her 17year old daughter is pregnant, i left straight away and cryed and cryed, then my ex was being a pain, i went to see my doc my BP is up and my feet ar puffy and i am stressed and if my BP does not come down they will not do the opp. my sister could have waited till next after i had had my opp

[tina_k]

oh betty, so so sorry. Sometimes our relatives are so insensitive.
i know its hard, but please just try to focus on being calm and getting your BP down, so you can get your opp and move forward..
take care of yourself, tina

[plc1805]

betty - come on sweet, now's the time to just focus on u and ur body alone, you've been hanging out for this op for so long now, don't do ur body any injustices at this point by focusing on other stuff that is only going to make u spiral. Let ur sister and other family members focus on that now. you wanted this op and it is now around the corner so shut out the other noise and listen to ur own positive thoughts talking to ur own body and willing it to produce a positive outcome. This is ur pre-op chance to be selfish and nurture you and you alone.

[Baby Angels]

You go girlfriend.... passing the batton to you...... between us both we'll just have this place full of positive thoughts people feeling better about themselves.... go you good thing

[AJC]

Oh Betty - :hugs: As the other girls have said, we need lots of positive thinking so you can have your op on Monday. Sending loads and loads and loads of positive vibes across the Tasman right to your doorstep.

[jen805]

bettyboop--I feel your pain, hun! I just found out last night that my cousin's pregnant. When we decided to TTC I had told her, and she told me that she was also TTC. Now she's pg with a GIRL! This is the same cousin that I was pg with back in '95 when I had a blighted ovum and 2 very early m/c. I actually went into the delivery room with her back then when she had her son, which was pretty hard for me after the m/c's. As soon as she had told me that they were also TTC again, I felt some sort of competitive streak (stupid, I know). We rarely talk, so I didn't even know she was pg until last night when my son told me. Of course, I would never wish for something bad to happen to her child, it's just hard b'cuz we had to be fairly close in due dates. The waiting and wondering is killing me! It's day 23 since m/c, and not sure when I'm supposed to start. Time normally moves so quickly, but lately seems like it's moving in slow-mo! Betty, don't lose focus on what's important right now--YOU. I truly know how hard it is trying to stay focused on yourself, but it's not just for you--it's for your child. Be selfish right now and take care of yourself. My prayers are with you for your op on Monday. Stay true to yourself!

[Canary]

Hi Girls,
My Goodness! What a lot to catch up on. I have been away for a few days and so much has happened.

Firstly, Bettyb. Oh, girl, everytime I see your name on a post, I read it really eagerly, hoping that there is some good news. So, so sorry about your neice. (I guess she is a bit upset about the news herself?) Take everyone's advice and make sure you look after yourself. You are the most important person right now. let everyone alse in your life take care of themselves. I'll be thinking of you on Mon

mmteacher, Hi! I am so sorry for what you have been through, but I am glad that you have found us here. A month off TTC to heal and relax sounds like a good way to start. As for that baby shower- did you decide not to go? I was invited to one recently and was like: 'no way!' Had to invent an excuse. That would have been way too hard.
Jen805: Hi! Welcome, I hope that you have short journey here. I know what you mean about not wanting to wait.
Praying and hoping: Hello. thank you for sharing your story. As so many of the other girls here have said, your story is familliar in many ways. It is sad that this is what has bought us all together, but here is not such a bad place to be, there are lots of wonderful and supportive people here.
AngelB- Honey, BIG HUGS. You are so brave. It sounds as though you have made a really important decision. Look after DH and you, and well done for not letting TTC drive you insane!!
MAGDA and NATTY- YAY!!!!!!!!!! There is a pop up blocker, so I cant use emoticons, but HUGE congrats to you both- you are inspirational! Sending sticky vibes***
BERECCA- I cant remember whether I have said congrats to you or not, but congrats again anyway, plus sticky vibes!
Jodsan, Aww, booo to AF. I can still remember last month, when AF came to visit me. I was so dissappointed and cried and cried. I hope you are feeling OK. Sending you baby dust for next month. **
ll80- Hey! Fancy that, a condom breaking! Well, i'd better not make any more comments, or could get too saucy! (tee hee) Am I to keep my fingers crossed for you for an 'accident'?
plc1805- I have taken a leaf out of your book and am trying to reply to everyone- it is pretty exhausting! I hope you are doing OK. Still waiting for April 15th?
Fiona- Hiya! I agree with everyone who said the your Dr was unnecessarily nasty and that you need to find a new one. How is it going with the low GI diet? You have much more will power than me! Good luck!
Hi Pash- it is nice to meet a fellow Pomme! Lucky you, off to a wedding on the Gold Coast. I went to one nr Sydney a few yrs ago- perfect excuse for a trip to Oz. Hope you are having a good time
Smilinatu- Hey, hun. Really sorry for AF visit. Are you OK? I know it is dissappointing. GL for next month.
Danielsgirl- Are you still waiting the go ahead to TTC? Your charm sounds really lovely
AJC- Hiya, sorry that you are getting side effects from Clomid, hope it works, so fingers crossed for this month.
Trac- I envy you, not concentrating on TTC! I have found it really hard not to get too bogged down by it all. I reckon it is probably more likely to happen if you're not thinking about it
Mollycat- I hope your blood tests all come back OK
A big Hello to the 'pregnant, but too scared for PAML thread' bunch: Nickster, Starrysky, Brockstar, Katiegirl.... I think I would be scarred too. Take care of yourselves
And finally, a big hello to Tempus and Tina , I have come to join you in the TWW.

AFM: I had a FAB time away. Really lovely countryside, bike rides and snow (yes, snow- I cycled in a blizzard!!) We stayed in a gorgeous B&B. When we saw I room, I had a huge grin on my face, thinking, 'what a perfect place for our first child to be conceived in!' I am doing really well on not getting too hopefull or consumed by the fact that I may be pgt.- Although it is early days yet, only 2dpo!

Sorry if I missed anyone. Lets see some more BFPs please ladies!

[prayingandhoping]

Thank you all so much for your support. I am currently waiting to see if this cylce is relatively normal and then the hubby and I are going to start trying again. I've done a lot of thinking and praying and hoping...and I have decided that I am not in control of any of this. God is - he gives life and he takes it away. I've learned a lot about myself, my DH and my relationships with other people. I also have learned that my plan and my timeline don't really matter, because God is in control of everything. I am going to do what I can and then just trust him to do the rest.

Best of luck to everyone...you will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Thank you all...you are amazing women!!


Remember - It's all alright in the end...if it's not alright it's not the end.

[tina_k]

oh praying and hoping, your words really hit home with me, im really trying to focus on being positive. You are right, God is in control of everything, and even though i wanted to have ths baby so badly, He didnt think it was the right time for me. Ive done all that i can, and now i have faith that God will do the rest. thank you for your inspirational words

[mollycat]

Betty - as others have said now is the time to concentrate on yourself - hard as it can be you need to ignore others. Give yourself this weekend for some big self pampering. Wishing you all the best for your op on monday - because you are definately going to have it.

[danielsgirl1113]

Hi everyone, I just got home from work and I'm SOOO tired.. not so much physically but mentally. It was a hard day, very stressful and hectic. I just wanted to drop a quick post about what the Doctor said, and I will try to do personals tomorrow.

I went to the Doctor by myself (my DH would have gone but I told him not to worry, he was painting the eaves of the house and the shop out back and I told him to stay and finish, I felt good and thought I would be fine.) I got to the DR's office and she was running 30 mins behind because a woman who is expecting had fallen and needed to be examined. (so obviously no one minded waiting.) But I was in the waiting room and I was literally the only one in there who was not either pregnant or holding a baby carrier. So I got a little sad and tried to focus on other things, and think that it will be me PG again soon. But then a nurse came out of the exam room down a long hall, and I guess when she opened the door you could hear the ultrasound machine with the baby's heart beat on it. I started crying. I couldnt help it. It really got to me. I found out that our baby's heart had stopped on the day I was going to get to hear it for the first time. Exactly 3 weeks to the day of my DR's appointment.

I tried to choke back the tears and calm down. ... Then the girl next to me started talking to two of the girls across the room who were just a huge PG as she was.... The other two girls were both 19 and one was having a boy and the other a girl. The girl next to me was 15 and 8 and 1/2 month along and having a boy. ( I turned 27 the day before my Dr's appointment and was more than a little annoyed that the "babies next to me were having babies" when I had waited until I was settled to start trying. I know I know I know that is very selfish of me to think that way and I DEEPLY appologize to anyone here who is 19 or 15. I know they love their babies just as much as I love the one I lost...... it just hurt me. ( I suppose I need to work on my issues ).

Anyway the Dr finally called me into the room and DIDNT EVEN EXAMINE ME!! She just wanted to see how I was doing EMOTIONALLY! I said, well not so great right now, I just waited 30 mins in a room FULL of mothers and mothers to be and right now I'm having a hard time holding back the tears. The DR (who I actually like alot) said that this appointment was just a Mental Check up and that she wouldnt do a physical exam for 2 more weeks. ( 5 weeks post D and C ) She said not to have sex until then (so now I'm going on 1 and 1/2 months no sex because of problems when I was pregnant. ) and I have to wait 2 more weeks. Then she said when I do get to have sex ( hopefully after next appt. on April 10th) I have to use precautions so I dont get PG for atleast a month.

NOT WHAT I WANTED TO HEAR!!!! Maybe I will get my AF before the 10th and she will say we can try sooner. My D and C bleeding has been stopped for 2 days, (not even spotting) so maybe that is a good sign.

I hate to ramble but I had to get it off my chest. Oh yeah... my grandmother really hurt my feelings because when I left the Dr's office I called her and was telling her about it and how sad it made me, (I wasnt crying, I was just telling her that I was sad) and she said, "you are just going to have to get over it, you can't control who is pregnant. Dont let it bother you." I got so mad and upset, I started crying and had to hang up. I know she didnt mean to be so mean but MAN that REALLY hurt me, how do I "just get over it?!?!"

Oh well, tomorrow will be better, and I promise to catch up on some personals...

OH YEAH and all the dizziness is in part because my Iron is low, and I might have an ear infection... I need to get check out.... bye for now.

[smilanatu]

Today I have mixed emotions...AF is here which means my cycle is back to "normal" BUT with that arrival comes the disappointment of not this time...oh well in about a week and a half I should ovulate again. I will be 37 next Saturday and while I know I'm not too old...I feel like I am getting there...