TTC after Miscarriage or Loss ~ March 08

[Jodsan]

Welcome Danielsgirl, you have come to the right place. I'm so sorry for your loss, big hugs After my MC, with the help of the BB girls, I eventually let go and accepted that its just natures way (after many neurotic moments where I too felt like a failure and blamed myself for drinking a cup of coffee or going too hard at the gym!). There is nothing you could have done, not all of our eggs can be perfect, and not all of our DH's sperm can be perfect. BUT, there are some perfect ones and you will get your baby. Chin up.

Welcome too Natty, I am so sorry for your loss, big hugs to you too Yeah,I agree with Berecca, your friend is probaby just telling you what worked for her and from my short time with BB I can see that we are all sooooo different. It sounds like the perfect way to conceive to me, cos sperm live for 3-5 days, so even if you dont BD on O day, you will either be BDing on the day before or the day after so you should be in with a pretty good chance. Good luck, stick around and keep us informed.

[Natty]

Thanks Jodie and Bec. My girlfriend is TTC#1 and is going by the book Natural Fertility. She seems to think that by BDing too often then the swimmers will be diluted and there wont be too many left by the time you BD just prior/when you ovulate (hence reducing the likelihood that a swimmer will penetrate the egg).

I guess for me, like most of us, I just want to be pregnant soon - especially given that is all I have thought about since our m/c!

Natty

[Baby Angels]

I really do seriously hate welcoming people into our little thread. I hate the fact that another person has gone through what we have gone through. Danielsgirl and Nattie..... I hate to welcome you.... but Welcome. Hopefully you wont be here for long. Its such a strange little place... we don t want anyone here and we want those that are here gone...... gone off into the world of Pregnant after Miscarriage. So here s to neither of you staying here for long..... or any of us for that matter

My absolute number one piece of advice..... Do what is right for you! Dont worry about other peoples opinions on what you should be doing or not doing.... You morn your loss in your way ONE DAY AT A TIME! When you feel that its time to TTC again then go for it... most Dr s will say wait until after your first period after miscarriage..... but that didnt stop me or for that matter most of the (wonderful) ladies in here. You do what is right for you! The biggest thing the highest proirity is for you to heal. Only you know how to do that.

Soooo welcome to our little group...... put forward what your best cyber cake recipee is...... its a volunteer thing with the cakes..... and huge hugs to you both

Now Nickster.... Katiegirl.....Starrysky........ and all the other BFP s still lurking around (cause we dont want you to leave ) I was havin a chat to my accupunturist today. She is convinced that this cycle is going to be the "winner" I had to inform her that our biggest hurdle at the moment was DH and I actually talking to each other during "o". Annnnnywayyyyy I started talking to her about you guys. About how difficult it is once you are BFP. She looked at me shocked and asked why, I explained it to her and she understood but she told me to instruct you all to go and see a chinese herbalist. Apparently there is some wonder thing available (6 herbs or whatever in it).....gee you can tell I pay attention to everything.... Annnnywayyyyy this capsual is available world wide that is a combination of herbs to assist in the longevity of the pregnancy after miscarriage... Now I m not claiming to be any chinese herb guru.... I can say that I take upwards of 20 per day and if I end up with a BFP that sticks... then thats a hell of a lot better than IVF could do..... I look at my accupunturist, she is mid 50s with the energy I ve only seen in teenages. She is a little pocket rocket that is just vibrant. Energy levels that I would be dangerours with. (hey maybe that would put a smile back on DH).... i m sorry... I keep digressing tonight.... Annnnywayyyyy if your interested I will email her and ask her for more information. I think you would probably have to message me for me to be able to pass the information on. Last time I put something in a thread it was classed as inapropriate to do so and i got my hand smacked by BB..... Ohhhh I m a rebel with a bad mark next to my name. I will try not to lead you all astray.

You see... I m digressing again....If your interested let me know. I will say... I have NEVER had ovary pain.... I ve read about the twinges you get during "o" I now get them.... i now get a lot of things I never used to get.

Ok.... Going now....

[Canary]

Hi Girls,
Got to be quick as I'm on my way out for a run (again)

Welcome to Daniels Girl and Nattie. Dont worry about being new, everyone here is really friendly and we are glad that you have found us (although not glad that you needed to, as Angel says.) Sorry for your losses. You will find lots of advice and support here. About the BD question- I recently heard an OB say that it is best to DTD about 2 or 3 times per week (so about every other day, really) throughout the cycle. Well, who knows, really? I reckon they're all just guessing!! Lots of luck to you both for two BFPs pretty soon.

Tina- So sorry about your guests arriving at the wrong time! Has had me in giggles here! I think you're gonna have to sneak out, just dont get caught, tee hee!

Tempus- We have crocuses galore in our local park. I wouldnt get too jelous, though, the weather here is just hideous- 80mph winds and storms- yuk!

Speaking of the weather, I'm going to go out and run in it now. Hmm, wish it was sunny and warm! Angel B, well done on the .8kg. Are you sticking to that greulling exercise regime? Good on you.

Got to go. My ticker is still all wrong. Ticker factory was not working- well, it'll have to stay wrong for now. Bye!

[pbstar]

hi ladies

hello and welcome to danielsgirl and natty, sorry for your losses and hope your stay is short.

hey berecca- i was saying the same thing a couple of nights ago when i got AF- i charted, used OPK's, DTD as much as humanly possible so what else can i do?? i guess i am realising that there is so little about all this that is within our control...i have changed my expectations a bit and instead of saying i think it's going to be this month i am sort of thinking it will take around 12 months...that way i won't keep getting so disapointed and if it does happen sooner i will be pleasantly surprised...

but listen, you should be taking the same advice you gave me in the TWW thread- it ain't over till AF shows up!!! so don't give up hope yet and you get a BFP when you test sunday morning.

to all the other lovely ladies a big hello and a big

[nicksterUK]

welcome Danielsgirl and Natty- so very sorry to hear your sad news. I hope you find comfort and the answers you need from the wonderful ladies here :hugs:

Thanks for the gorgeous cyber-cake Angel- very scrummy indeed! Congrats on your fitness kick, lookin' good hun x

Hi to all, huge hugs all round and good luck this month xxxxxxxx

When we were TTC we bd'd every other night/day (no matter what) when I thought I was due to 'o'- and even a couple of times either side to cover all the bases. (Then I went off bd completely for weeks- either my body already knew it was successful- or it was just rebelling due to the overdose of jigginess )
Anywayyyyyyyyy (Angel! that's your fault) every 2 days worked for us, so really heartfelt best wishes to those who are getting jiggy xxxxxxxxxxx

Canary- my ticker got stuck ages ago and I couldn't sort it out so I just did myself a new one and replaced it- it was fine after (and I could still use the same design.) if you still have no luck try lilliepie x

[treelo]

Hello All,

Danielsgirl and Natty, im so sorry for your losses, i hope your stay is short.

Angel babies - Im in Brisbane and would love the name and address, could you pm it to me....thanks heaps. I have decided that i am not going continue trying once i reach 37 and im going to be 36 this year, so i need to get a move on.

Tempus - I agree, it really puts me down when i get attitude from people like that, even if they are meaning well.....its very disheartning.

Everyone else - im sorry for the lack of personals, im running late getting my son ready for school.
I hope your all doing really well and im praying we get some more bfp's in here soon.

Hugs to all
treelo

[Brockstar]

Hello and welcome to the newbies. My sentiments echo the ones above - nice to have you here, but wish you didn't have to be here IYKWIM!!!

Well, it's been a long week for us, I can't wait until tomorrow to POAS again, so I think I will do it today and get it over with. I need to know more - we are away camping next weekend with friends and want to know whether I need to 'keep mum' or whether I can drink and waterski all weekend!!! Of course, if it's -, then I'll no doubt be heartbroken, but if it's still +, then all the better. I can then move forward to the next step and do the bloods.

So, I will be back with POAS results some time today.

to everyone else, will write more tonight.

[Trac73]

Hello Everyone

I am with Angel Welcome to Natty and Danielsgirl i hope you find the support and answers to your questions here, but i also hope your visit is a short one.
I have found everyone to be very supportive here and whether you are having a great day or a bad day we are all here for you.

News about my dad... i heard from mum that he is ok and the radiation is not effecting him as yet. I am hoping to see him today which will help me alot as i just really want to see him. Then i can let my sister know how he really is as mum does cover things up a bit and my sisiter is not able to come and visit as she is a 2 1/2 hour drive away.

Brockstar - goodluck with you POAS i look forward to hearing the outcome

Betty - I am glad you had a nice time away on your own sometimes we just need that time for ourselves

Angel - Well done on your lose of .8. That is fantastic

To everyone that i have missed hello and i hope all is well in your neck of the woods. I wish everyone a BFP soon

Chast soon
Trac

[tempus moriendi]

AF is done, we get to start DTD tonight, and I had really good mucus these last few days despite being on clomid (a possible side effect is it dries up your mucus). I'm really feeling hopeful and positive for the first time in months.

smilanatu: congrats on af! It's not too often I get to write that phrase on this site, LOL!

pbstar: love your attitude!

danielsgirl1113: I"m so sorry for your loss. I'll keep you in my prayers and sending cyberhug

Natty: I'm so sorry you had to go through all that. I'm praying for you
There are no hard and fast rules of how to get preg, but my friend who's had a bunch of babies swears by the every other day rule starting after af ends

berecca623: Just remember not to let baby-making take over your whole life (yeah, easier said than done, and I was totally obsessed before our first). It won't make a baby come any faster, but it will make the wait less painful. I"m pulling for you.

Canary: after I posted my last message, I asked the kids if they'd seen crocuses and they said yeah, we had one, but the baby picked it (the baby is five) *double sigh*

Trac73: still praying really hard for your dad.

[danielsgirl1113]

Hi everyone,
Thank you for the warm welcome. I'm so glad I found this site. I didnt even know sites like this exsisted, but thank God they do. I am not use to some of the abbreviations that you use on here, ( I have a good idea what some of them mean but as for the acutal words I'm at a loss. ) I am looking forward to recovering from my D & C so that my husband and I can resume our bedroom life. When I was having complications with my pregnancy the Dr said to hold off until my next appointment ( a month later ) and then when we went to the appointment we found out that we lost our angel. I know everyone is different as far as the recovery from a D&C, I hope I recover soon. I had it done on the 7th. I didnt have any bleeding at all until some spotting on the 10th and then an actual "flow" on the 11th that I still have. ( Please forgive me if this is TMI, I'm sorry! ) I am awaiting my Dr's appointment on the 27th of this month, ( The day after my 27th birthday). I hope that all goes well and that she says we can try for a baby again soon. I found a charm online that is for women who had experienced a M/C and my husband is going to order it for me. I think it will help to have something close to me to phyically remind me of my angel, eventhough I will never forget. I'm sorry for rambling, I hope each of you have a great day, and I hope for good news for everyone! Hugs!!

[ll80]

Hi everyone
I'd just like to say that I am totally over this hot weather in Melbourne. It's just not right!! 40 degree just wants to make me freeze myself in an ice cube. Bring on Winter!!

Well AF showed up on Monday I think it was, so no luck this month, wasn't really trying anyway but there was a small tiny amount of hope.
Still haven't made it to the doctors, just too hot to catch buses and walk in this weather, hopefully I can make it next week!

Had a good chat last night with DP, which was nice, good to get a few things off my chest. Lately I feel like I have been a slave to my emotions. SO up and down. I guess it's just my body re adjusting still plus I am under a considerable amount of stress and DP still hasn't secured a job after our move down here and things are starting to become strained financially not to mention living at home with my dad. Just want my own space again.

Hi to everyone, I haven't had time to read all your posts, miss a few days and you're really behind.

Hope you're all well!!
Good Luck to everyone and welcome to the new ladies, best of luck!

..Laura

[Brockstar]

Quick update!!!



Off to the medical centre now to get BT referrals. Gonna ask for 3 so I can get them done 3 days apart and keep an eye on the hcg levels.

I know that this will not prevent another m/c or anything, but it gives me something positive to focus on today.

Will pop back on later tonight.

[Natty]

Firstly - thanks everyone for your warm welcome. Its sad that all of us have to be posting in this section but its comforting to know that there are kind, warm ladies to turn to in cyberspace!

Brockstar - wow congratulations on your BFP.

And thanks to everyone for their advice re: how often to BD. I guess DH and I are enjoying each other and thats most important. Its his birthday today and I bought a little 'outfit' which is going to bring lots of laughs tonight. I read on one of the other posts about how men feel like they are being taken advantage of around "o" time, so I am pulling all stops to make DH realise its because I love him too - not just TTC...

Wishing all of us BFP's very soon! Hope you all have a great day.

[berecca623]

Well done Brockstar, congrats on your BFP!!!

[danielsgirl1113]

BROCKSTAR -- I'm SOOOO happy for you! I will be praying for nothing but wonderful news in the future! I hope that you are starting a "trend" for the rest of us on here too! Maybe it's something in the water? If so please send some to Florida for me!!! and Pass it around for all the other wonderful women on here!

Again ..... I'm so very very happy for you. I have a smile on my face!

( how long have you been TTC? )

[Baby Angels]

Ok... well where to begin.

Canary.... Yes I m sticking to the exercise routine..... I actually had myself running on the cross trainer on Tuesday night... thought I would die but hey... I didnt so i ve increased it even further. I did try "body balance" but seriously... the instructor looked like he was high as a kite... doin some 'funky' chit.... ahhhh not me.... I just stood there thinking ..... I m nearly bloody 40..... what the hell am I doing.

pbstar..... you are right.... All we can do is the best we can do and make sure we do everything we can..... from there... we just have to accept that anything further than that is out of our control.... unless your prepared to go to further extremes with IVF and all sorts of assisted conception..... which having done that already myself... i would be cautious in doing so..... there is a whole other world of not so nice out there in the assisted conception world.

Nickster.... Nickster... Nickster..... great to see you and how is that big fat tummy comin along .... Now were nt you just jiggy for the sake of jiggy....

Treelo.... I will send you her details in a PM..... she is amaizing... qualified midwife as well..... as for your age.... well she has a view on that dont you worry....... apparently we (between 35 and 40 peoples) apparently we are NOT old..... and just because I can... I m going to agree with her

Brockstar...... CONGRATS GIRL.... yet another fat tummy coming our way.

Trac73.. Best of luck with your dad...... and thanks for the congrats with opperation "huge butt"

Tempus.... Ok... well I am lost..... "DTD" ....please explain... i ve sat here looking at it thinkin...hmmmm....hmmmm....hmmmmm nope... cant work that one out.

Danielsgirl.... you are not rambling... and you are not TMI.... Just be you and deal with your loss in your way... stop trying to please anyone but yourself.... OK... now dont make me smack your hand..... (goodness... i havent had to threaten a smack in a while) You lost your baby... you have to think of you... you have to recover.... its all about YOU.... now I have something that might help..... below my name you will see a link to "angel babies" This is my web site... for my twin angels I lost on new years eve and new years day this year..... read through it... have a great cry... allow yourself to grieve and allow yourself to put yourself as your priority. :hugs:

ll80...... ohhh girl.... wish I could help..... living with your dad and DP still looking..... OHHHH i think it would drive me insane..... ohhh hold on a sec... thats assuming that i am sane...... The good news is that with the unemployment rate as low as it is, it is deffinately an employee market. I am interviewing tomorrow for some positions.... ohhhh its not like it used to be... now I have people unqualified coming to interviews wanting big dollars and they just dont have a clue... If i go back 3 years ago I would still get them but I would also get well qualified NORMAL people.....I just want NORMAL back... sniff sniff.

Natty.... thats the hardest part.... working out how to make sure you bd at "o" but not making it as BD at "o"..... and oooohhh lately... i m no expert there.... last "o" I picked a fight and this "o" he did. Me managed to get in BD the night before "o" but I dont like our chances ..... My thought is BD as much as you want...

Now... where is Birthday Buddy... looking....looking....looking.....

[plc1805]

Hey bday buddy here I am!! .8 you say - great start hun! Sorry been a bit quiet - still lurking and keeping updated but sometimes I am a little over-whelmed by it all - the TTC journey that is. Had acupuncture and naturopath appts yesterday and they were good positive appts. It'll be mid-april in no time and DHs swimmers will be chasing my eggie like long-lost lovers Hope ur DH is being good to you and talking at least at the appropriate times this cycle - I really do hope it's ur cycle this time for a BFP!! If not, maybe it'll be next cycle and we could be belly and then baby buddies together - to grow from our bday buddy thang!
Congrats brockstar - well done hun!
Welcome to the newbies - the ladies in here are so lovely - I will certainly support you all i can too
to everyone!!!