Thank you so much for letting us know how your were. I know how hard this must be,and i dont think anything i or anyone else says will make it better so i will just let you know that were are here for you, whenever you need us to lean on.
Dawnee So sorry about the loss. Its just not fair, Im sure in time DH will come around, you just take care of you!!
Satya my thoughts are with you at the moment also.
Hope everyone else is fine, sorry lack of personals but i think my dinner is burning (not the best cook)
I'm so sorry about your loss Dawneee. I know how hard it is to deal with loss when you are surrounded by people who don't know what's going on. When my last one started I was in the middle of entertaining my DF's father, mother & her boyfriend. They all knew I was acting weird but didn't know why.
The funeral was lovely. The coffin was painted blue with clouds, butterflies and a rainbow. I saw a magnificent rainbow a couple of hours after the funeral so I know she is at peace now.
She was transported from the church by a Harley hearse with her son riding behind the rider and her godson riding alongside on his Harley. It meant he got to accompany his mum the whole way to the cemetery. It was a fine send off for a very special and individual lady.
Wondering if I can join you? I have been in the Waiting for AF thread for the last 3 months, so I am hoping that now that AF has finally reared her late head, I can get on with TTC again.
I hope I get to know you soon, I am sure though that I may already know some of you through the Waiting for AF thread...
Kelly
Last edited by charlie23; September 10th, 2007 at 09:21 PM.
: spelling
Dawnee, I'm so sorry about the loss of your baby. Please be kind and gentle to yourself, sending you lots of special hugs. I wish your friend from Brisbane was more supportive and I hope that when you and your DH finally get that moment alone that he gives you all the hugs you are needing. No wonder you feel like curling into a little ball. I wish I could send you more than just hugs.
Sounds like a wonderful send off, Satya. Your aunt would have been thrilled.
Welcome to the thread, Kelly. Congratulations on graduating from Waiting for AF.
Hey there, Treelo. Hope things are well with you.
Littlescottishboy, how's Angus today? Hope he is on the mend. Lots of positive healing vibes being sent your way.
Waves to everyone else. Will catch up with you next time around.
Satya- I am sorry I don't live closer as I would come with you for support. I am sorry your DF is being such a bonehead. Sometimes they (men-husbands-etc.) just are. I hope you are able to manage without him today. We are all thinking of you in this time of need. My DH once completely let me down when DD#2 was hospitalized - She was having trouble breathing when she had a virus. He was so focused on work for some reason he said things that made so sense "You can look after DD#1 in the hospital too" But he came to his senses too late to support me but before I smacked him.
Dawnee- I was mad for you- What a horrible few days. Bad enough to lose a pregnancy let alone deal with insensitive people and play hostess. I know how scary it is when DH says casually- "Maybe we shouldn't right now...." My DH has said that several times, but what he means is he doesn't want me to have to go through the loss again. I know if we could 'know' we would have a prefect pregnancy They wouldn't be so quick to say in passing "Maybe we shouldn't" Try to see his words as concern for you.
hello everyone,
Dawnee- i am so sorry for your loss, words can not express the way i am feeling for you right now, you must be a very strong woman to endure what i am sure was a nightmare weekend.
satya- i am glad it sounds like you are a bit more peacefull now, as far as funerals go, your aunts sounds beautiful, its so nice to know we get messages occasionally.
charlie23- welcome, hope your stay is a short one! wishing you a bfp asap.
hello and big hugs to everyone else, my bros gf is definately going in for d&c on thurs, i dont know how she is coping so well, if that was me........ i really dont want to think about it!!
I am looking forward to thursday on a purely selfish note, i am taking my 12 yr old cousin to the royal show!! we havent been for 3 yrs as he has been in malaysia. will go see my bros gf that night afterwards.
I thought i was getting af yesterday, had all the pains, bloating, *****iness etc and a bit of light spotting and now nothing! what is going on????
hope everyone is great and wishing all bfps this month.
xxx
Hi everyone!
Satya: How you doing? I'm sorry for all the loss and heartache you have had lately you've really had more than your fair share dished out,I'm not sure if you posted what happened with DF to make him move out? (sorry if you haven't and disregard as then it'd sound rude that I asked) but if you did was it because of the losses you've had or pressure of TTC i really hope not....but hopefully you will sort it out.
Jayney and Starrsky: Yeah it has been a tough time and believe it or not all the visitors we had DID know what was happening so I can't even say that I was hiding it from them,my Friend that came to stay is a very angry woman at life in general and it gets draining at the best of times let alone when I just can't get my head around what's for Dinner,I honestly think that because I am generally a strong person and have to have a good coping mecahnism for my Job that they think this is the same but what people don't realise is,yes I see quite alot of Death and very sick people dangerously close to it but when it's close to Home whether it's yourself or a Family even a close friend it takes minute for work mode to kick in (and that's only because you HAVE too) this is personal.
Jayney you are right though DH said he is worried about me and that this means something will go wrong and we wouldn't have a healthy Baby....he did seem to take this one a bit harder than the one before,so I told him last night I feel like I need a break so whilst I'm still off work I am going away for a few days (probably next week) I have always fancied "White water Rafting" in Cairns so bugger it! I'm going!
Treelo,Beaksie and everyone else I've missed I hope you are all going okay.
Oh and welcome charlie23 hopefully you wont be here too long! -x-
Dawnee- Have a great trip rafting I went once here and had the best time. Nice to be outdoors, exciting and different from the everyday. Good idea. My DH has been more worried about me each time. There better not be a 4th or he may mean " maybe let's not try anymore" And I do so want 1 more baby!
Starsky- I hope you don't see another drop from AF for a long long time!
Jayney - Thanks for the kind words. I really did need the support. I am an emotional wreck right now. Too much has happened this year and it just keeps getting worse and worse. A neighbour offered to take me to the funeral but I couldn't possibly take him up on it.... how on earth would have I explained bringing a stranger with me..... no one in the family apart from my parents know that DF has moved out and they don't know the full story as they would be very concerned if they knew. My mum just can't have that kind of stress placed on her.
Dawneee - I can't believe that people were so insensitive to you when they knew what was going on... it's just awful. I haven't posted what has happened but there are two major issues - one is trust related and the other is an anger issue.... they are very intertwined. He says he's getting help for the anger tomorrow....I hope he does. I have been quite paranoid since number 2 m/c and once I get a bit sus on something I pretty much can't see it any other way. I have seen him pretty much every day but when he leaves I just wonder what he's doing and who he's with, it's torture. My friends who know most of the details but not all are telling me to walk away but will support me in my decision however it turns out in the end. Have a great time rafting.
Ok, I'm adding to this as I've come to a decision. I am flogging a dead horse thinking that my DF & I will work out. I'm pretty sure he has Borderline Personality Disorder but is undiagnosed. His sister has it and his mother agrees with me. He has so many of the symptoms, I am sure it is the case. He has been abusive towards me, he has cheated on me and I think he is doing so again. All he's admitted to so far is seeing a woman behind my back for coffee but I'm sure there's more to it. Risky sex is one of the behaviours with BPD as are careless driving, anger, inability to keep jobs, inability to keep friends, loving people one minute then hating them because of some small issue the next. He lies a lot. It is a mental illness and he needs help but I don't think I can hang around to see it happen. My ex husband was mentally ill and I just can't do this again. It is soul destroying. What on earth have I been doing thinking of still having a child with him. That was soooooo hard to admit to but it's out there now.
Last edited by satya; September 11th, 2007 at 09:06 PM.
: some truth
Satya - hun you have been doing a lot of soul searching lately and it sounds like you are really trying to remain true to yourself through all this. i applaud you for your strength and your ability ot be so brave in thinking things through. Big hugs hun and look after you.
Dawnee - again i am so sorry matey that you have to go through this again. it totally sucks and life is not fair but we are all here for you anytime you need us.
Charlie23/Kelly - welcome hun and i hope your stay in here is short and sweet.
Angus seems to be getting a little better. They let us take him home from hospital but we have to give very strong penicillin every four hours to try to kick the pneumonia. As a result, i am not working at the moment - work can get stuffed until he is better! Trying to fit a few BDs in but not really too focussed on it this month.
Glad that Angus is getting a little better and I hope that the penicillin does its job quickly, Littlescottishboy. Pneumonia is scary.
Satya, I left my previous boyfriend who I'd lived with for seven years because I'd decided he wasn't the one because of his drinking. I didn't know it but he had a mental illness and it didn't end well without spelling it out. I wish you the courage to get through this phase in your life and I hope it all works out for you.
Penny, if you're lurking, hope you are doing okay! Did you get your vitex? I have a feeling that my luteal phase is going to be a short one this time, despite taking vitex!
Had a looooong chat with DP tonight and tomorrow night's Date Night, so I'm happy about that. Hate having longer than a week apart. Makes TTC fraught with difficulty. When it's already so !@$# difficult. But no point in being a Negative Nora. Here's hoping that we will all cross over to PAML before the year is out.
Satya- You are a brave woman to admit and face the problems with DF. It sounds like you are making a good desision. Although tough doesn't begin to describe it. I am sorry that you are in such a difficult position. Signing up for a lifetime of us and downs with him could be dangerous. I hope you can find support from people close to you in this difficult time.
Littlescottishboy- Glad to hear your little one is on the mend and that you are now at home.
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I wish your friend from Brisbane was more supportive and I hope that when you and your DH finally get that moment alone that he gives you all the hugs you are needing. No wonder you feel like curling into a little ball. I wish I could send you more than just hugs.
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