Trying To Conceive After Stillbirth/Late Loss/Recurrent Miscarriage August 2008
If you have found yourself in this forum you no doubt have had a painful journey. TTC after recurrent miscarriage/stillbirth or Late Loss takes special courage and support. The aim of this forum is to provide a place where women who have endured loss can share their stories, friendships, treatments and triumphs!
My greatest wish is that you all leave this forum with nice big fat positives in the shortest possible time!!!
I hope so much that this month is YOUR month.
If at any time you'd like to make a suggestion, or provide any constructive feedback for this forum, please contact one of your following moderators:
Fllowerchild
Niliac
Alternately you may contact Kelly (however she may take a little longer to respond at times!).
Email addresses can be found here.
We appreciate all your feedback as it does help to make our forums a much happier, relaxed place to chat! We will always take your comments seriously - all comments are treated confidentially...
Just to let you all know. Some incidents that occured recently have led me to approach the other Moderators and Admin about an idea for a new thread. The others agreed that this could be a good idea. Lucy has just finished setting up a new Sub Thread Titled "Support/Debrief After StillBirth/Late Loss/Death of a Child. You can find this new thread HERE This I forsee as a safe arena for those that feel they can benefit/need a place to talk freely and openly.
I hope that members find this helpful.
I am sleepy and will finish doing some posts and go to nighty nights!
BB tomorrow for some personals.
Hi all - just wanted to start this thread off with some babydust and stickyvibes. Fingers crossed we get some more BFPs in here soon.
I will need to look back over the last thread to see how I need to say hello to, but I know I started writing a post the other day and it got eaten. It was mainly to say that Jo - sorry that yor dr chose his words so poorly. I hope he has learnt something from this (and the med student) and will move forward with a better idea of what to say to support you. I won't say how strong I think you are, as you probably don't feel it at times. Rather I will say that I hope you are sleeping ok (I found that was very difficult) and are taking care of yourself. Big hugs
Happy to see my ticker saying 29 weeks, I am looking forward to 30...it seems like a good number. Will be back later.
Katie I am glad to see your ticker saying 29 weeks too! It is so wonderful to see those weeks tick by. On that note Tildy and Rozzie's tickers seem to have jumped on ahead too! Fantastic!
Rozzie - I just want too wish you a very peaceful day tomorrow for Edwards EDD. I hope you find comfort and love in whatever you choose to do, even if it is just lying on the couch! Look after yourself and DH, I will be thinking of you.
Jo - How are you going? Have you had to have Madison's farewell yet? That is yet another unbelievable thing that no parent should endure, I send ALL of my love and strength for you, as you need it far more than me at the moment.
Hammi - How are you? Now that a week has passed by after Hamish's EDD?? I am OK, although I am still doing the 'I would be just over 41 weeks now, if I were still pregnant'. I have too learn to stop that, but the sad realization is that it will never stop, because there will always be anniversaries of some kind, I just have too learn to live with that.
Rozzie - I hope you were able to find a way to remember Edward on his EDD yesterday. I am sorry this message is a day late, but DH was using the computer all day yesterday doing an assignment. I hope the day was a peaceful one, and you were able to remember Edward as the beautiful boy he is and will always be.
Helen - it is only natural to count the weeks and think where you would be. I still find myself working out how old Nathaniel would be - in fact he would be 4 months and 2 days (assuming he came on his EDD). I feel like I have been pregnant forever. Even the couple of months in between the two babies, I still felt pregnant or acted is as we were TTCing. I only drank a couple of times, but mind you one of those was a complete reversal to my old party ways from years ago...as sick as I was the next day it made me feel normal again.
Jo - how are you? I continue to thnk about you and your lovely family and of course Jack and Madison.
Hi Sue - I am so sorry to hear about your little frostie. I am so disappointed for you and can understand that this must be a hard thing to work through. I hope taking the month off will help you build up your spirit and give the hope you need to try again in October. Take care
Sue, I'm sorry little frostie didn't make it. I think it's a good idea to have a break. Distract yourself with something else other than baby-making for a month. How about some pampering? Hopefully Oct will be your month. I think I'm going to start TTC then too. How fun, a TTC buddy for me :-)
Katie are you going on maternity leave next week. I remember you said you'll go in Sept. It'll be so exciting when you get to the 30s on your ticker. What preparations have you made for your baby girl? Have you already got things from Nathaniel? Did you buy things for this bub?
Helen, I'm doing OK. I'm now in full Prepare Body for TTC mode starting with - what else - a blood test today for thyroid, iron, folic etc. I still want to see my BBT doing the right things so hopefully it will all sort itself out in Sept. I've managed to stop counting pregnancy weeks but unfortunately there'll always be anniversaries that will remind us of the babies we don't have in our arms :-(
Where are you Roz and Tildy? Hope everything is tracking along nicely for you.
Rozzie - I am so so happy that all is well. That was the best news!!!! What did you end up doing for Edward's EDD???
Jo - still thinking of you and hoping you are ok.
Katiegirl - I love seeing your ticker go up. It is so reassuring. How are you feeling?
Helen - thank you for all the baby dust. I will keep all of it for when I go to IVF in October.
Tildy & Danek - hope all is well with the both of you.
Well I had some heartbreaking news. My DH best friend and wife started TTC the same time as us and they already have a little boy. Well they told us on the weekend that they are having their 2nd in Feb. I was really happy for them, but it broke my heart. They are the typical try one month, get pregnant - successful.
Though I am happy for them, it still broke my heart, especially after Wed and little frostie didnt come through.
They told DH by phone on Sat (which was good) and we went over there on Sunday for lunch (which gave us time to absorb it). I really struggled to go as I didnt know how I would react. Anyway it turned out well. I went into their house and saw the wife and gave her a hug and said "congratulations, I am so happy for you" and we both, yes both!! burst into tears. She has been feeling so guilty that they are able to conceive easily and succeed. So even though we feel really bad, they also do....
Hi ladies. Sorry I've been away, but I forgot to subscribe to the new thread.
Sue -- I'm sorry to hear that the frostie didn't make it. I know you were looking forward to that opportunity. Try to have a relaxing month and take care of your body and soul. But I know it's hard to not think about babies and TTC -- it consumes us. I understand your feelings about the friend's pregnancy as well. It's not easy for us to see everyone else "passing us by" and not just once but sometimes twice. It has been an epidemic here, where only one couple in our circle of friends had a child before we started to TTC, and in the short time since we have now become the last who are not parents or ready to pop. Those closest friends, the ones who already had a child, had their second in June, and she was confused when I still refused to tell her what names we'd picked out for our baby. I explained that it's possible that she will have another before we manage to have one, and I think that's when she realized the difference between how she thinks after having two uncomplicated pregnancies, both of which she became pregnant on the first month's try, and how someone in my situation thinks.
Hammi -- good for you on your decision to start TTC soon! I'm proud of you. We'll be here for you.
Helen -- yes, it is natural to count those weeks. I do it when I see a big pregnant belly walking around, and I think, "I would have been bigger." And I understand that it doesn't stop after the EDD. Some day we might think, "he would have been 5 years old today," but hopefully we will be able to hug our little earth babies after thinking that.
I've been having it a bit shaky. I had a big, sudden bleed on Friday and went into emergency. I have a haematoma that she says was likely caused by my placenta being placed entirely over the inner cervical opening ("placenta previa" if it persists, but it's usually not detected this early at all). Baby looks fine, doctor sounded optimistic, placenta previa usually corrects itself before full term (otherwise a C-section is mandatory), but I'm so scared. It's just more and more deja vu. With Beiron I had a haematoma at 14 weeks that caused this kind of bleeding, all the doctors said it was just bloody fine and dandy... but it wasn't okay. And as I understand it from my constant idiotic googling, an early haematoma is more dangerous. So I'm terrified terrified right now, after being pretty okay with it over the weekend.
Edit to update on this: my midwife has booked me in for a follow-up on Friday and another in a couple weeks, so I am really getting the frequent flier miles between here and the clinics! I feel better today, less panicky.
And I have a question that's been bugging me for months, guys! What does the D in DH, DD, DS etc. stand for?
Last edited by Tildy; August 25th, 2008 at 09:56 PM.
hi everyone been away for a little while. it was my angel Hope's first birthday yesterday...
and we got good news..... positive.... Yay.... just gotta wait it out the next few months now..
fingers crossed.... xxxxx
Last edited by cindee; August 26th, 2008 at 11:23 AM.
: forgot something
I've been lurking over the past couple of weeks but was in the middle of my final law school exams and didn't have time to post. I had 2 weeks off after losing Charlie and then had to decide whether to go back and finish my final 6 weeks of law school. I was so close and had worked so hard coping with a miscarriage and then ms etc with Charlie, I felt it would all have been wasted if I didn't finish. I decided to go back. Then DH got admitted to hospital to have gallbladder out and both DS and I got bronchitis. Because I had committed myself I just kept going and finally I finished my last exam last Saturday. I am so relieved and really proud of myself. I can't believe how much I had to overcome to get there!
Anyway, I have been so lost since I finished, everyone said going back would be a good distraction for me, but now that it is gone I have been very emotional. I miss my little girl so much and still have moments where I am in absolute shock that I will never hold her or see her blow out candles on a birthday cake. Just when you think you have dealt with it, something happens to break your heart all over again.
My 4yo DS was so strange (in a good way) all weekend. He didn't see me cry but he must have sensed I was a bit sad. He kept asking if it DH and I would sit with him and talk about Charlie. One night we were walking home from a restaurant and he pointed out the Charlie stars in they sky and then said don't worry Mummy, Charlie can sprinkle some magic dust and make a lovely pink jumper with hearts so she won't get cold. When we put him to bed when we got home he asked us to leave the curtains open so he could see Charlie out his window in the sky. I have a little box of keepsakes for Charlie and he asked if he could draw a picture for Charlie to put in her box. He drew this beautiful picture of Mummy, Daddy, Ethan and baby Charlie with a rainbow and a heart and a flower.
I love so much that he has such a strong connection with his little sister but I get so emotional when he says such beautiful things and sometimes don't know how to process it.
I am crying as I sit here typing this and wondering if it will ever hurt any less. I want another baby and to start ttc but don't think I am ready yet to cope with the stress of it all. DH and I are thinking December might be a good time. It will give me a chance to recover physically from the past 2 years studying and the miscarriage and losing Charlie as well as give me time to settle into my new job which starts in October.
Anyway, that is enough rambling for me. I guess I have well and truly made up for being awol the last few weeks. I hope you are all well and finding plenty to be happy about.
Tildy: I hope all turns out ok for you, it is so unfair that you have to deal with such worry. Why can't everything just run smoothly so you can relax and enjoy your pregnancy. I never realised how lucky I was during my first pregnancy, I certainly won't be taking anything for granted like that again.
Sue: so sorry about frostie, I think we had all become quite attached to him/her. Lets hope October is a good month for you!
Hammi: good on you for making a committment to get your body and mind ready to ttc in October. When you do get that BFP it will hopefully be a little less stressful knowing you have done all you can to give your baby the best shot at life.
Jo: I think of you often and hope you are doing ok.
Katie: I think I will have a champers for you when you hit 30 weeks. I get just as anxious worrying about you pg girls as I do thinking about my own next pregnancy.
Hi to anyone else I have missed, not really with it today.
Sue - I'm sorry frostie didn't make it. Hammi's idea on the pampering sounds good - you truly deserve it. My friend had a baby at the same time I had Alexander. It, of course, is very difficult to see her daughter and I difficult for her too seeing me upset when I see her baby. I also discovered that she felt so guilty for having a healthy child, when I didn't. Its hard because I just want her to appreciate what she has and feel happy that she has her daughter with her, not to feel bad about it. I don't know where I was going with that one but, it sounded like a similar story to your friends.
Tildy - a bit scary for you with the bleeding. I hope all is OK for you. Its good to have the extra appointments - it sounds like your midwife is good to book you in. Have you found your carers understanding?
Hammi - Good on you for getting the tests. I'm at the same stage as you. Booked into some preconception counselling and will have bloods done etc... We've decided to start in September also. I finally found an obstetrician I was happy to go to but when I went to book the appointment, she is now going off on maternity leave. I was devastated - its so hard to find the right person. I'm booked in with another doctor now, so I'll suss her out at the next appointment.
Hi Paula - I'm very sorry about Charlie. Its great that your son has such a connection. I try to talk to my 2yo about Alex, so that he will always know that he has a little brother but I'm not sure how much he understands. He knows that somethings not quite right but maybe as he gets older he will understand more.
Sue, I'm soooooo sorry your embryo didn't make it. I was so hoping this would be your month. I hope you can pamper yourself in the coming months so you're in tip-top shape to conceive a bubba.
Mrs Robbo, I think it's lovely your son has such a beautiful relationship with Charli. I don't have any children but I often think about how to bring it up with future children. I hope they are like your son.
Cindee, yay!! congrats!!!
Tildy, hope you're feeling OK.
Hammi, good luck with all your tests, I'm sure you're primed for a healthy conception.
Well we had a nice day on Sunday for Edward's EDD, didn't do anything special in particular, had yum cha for lunch, then went for a walk in the botanical gardens (and may I say not a good idea to go for a walk when pregnant after consuming 2 pots of jasmine tea!!), home for a nap then went to the movies. DH had some flowers delivered in the morning, but honestly we didn't really discuss Edward. After the horrible week preceeding I sort of didn't want to 'go there' and get all emotional. I just wanted to get through it. I found out last night that DH's brother is getting married in April, and the baby's due April 4. I imagined us there with a newborn, then got all teary thinking Edward should be here right now. I'm getting teary at everything, including a lot of TV ads. Damn hormones.
Thank you all so much for the kind words about little frostie. I so wanted it to work as then I wouldnt have to do the full IVF with drugs. Oh well. This is what we do to achieve our dream.... can't give up!!!
Cindee - Congratulations . I wish you a H & H Pregnancy.
Mrs Robbo - Congratulations on completing your law degree - what an achievement. It is wonderful that your son Ethan has such a connection with Charlie, though I can understand it probably hurts when he talks about her.
Rozzie - so glad you had a wonderful day for Edwards EDD. How are you feeling?? How is MS going??
Helen - my TTC Buddy in October. I am also getting myself mentally and physically ready for TTC in October. Hopefully it wont take us long and we will have BFP.
Tildy - I am so sorry about your worries with bleeding. Man why can't we all just have a stress free pregnancies. I will have all my fingers and toes crossed for you.
Katiegirl. I will be celebrating your 30 weeks tonight (early I know!!!) going out with some girlfriends tonight and I will have a sparking in celebration.....
Danek - how are you???
to anybody else I have missed.........
Well I have started spotting today. Very confused again!!! Man I really think I have trouble with progesterone or something (this is my gut feeling) as my temps are still up (you can look at my chart if you like). This happens all the time and I am way to early to start spotting.
Of course you get your hopes up that it might be implantation, but I feel its not and I will spot for the next 5-6 days and then get AF.
I am cathing up with my local GP and I might ask her (as I have another month before IVF) and see if she with give my progesterone cream, just to try for that month and see how I go.... what do you guys think???
this is probably a redundant question as I'm sure after everything you've been through you've been thoroghly checked out, but have you ever been screened for endometriosis? I ask because pre-mentrual spotting is a symptom. I had it and always had spotting forabout 3-4 days prior to AF, it's the only reason I got checked as I had no other symptoms (aside from infertility). Anyway just a thought. Otherwise no idea what could be causing it.
Trying To Conceive After Stillbirth/Late Loss/Recurrent Miscarriage August 2008
I have too learn to stop that, but the sad realization is that it will never stop, because there will always be anniversaries of some kind, I just have too learn to live with that.
. I wish you a H & H Pregnancy. 
to anybody else I have missed.........
Bookmarks