Theresa: glad to have you back. sounds like you've had a rough trot with your health. I hope you're feeling better soon and thanks for the congratulations, it is so exciting, that I get to share it all with you girls.
Megan: try not to fret, ttc will be here before you know it. I remember deciding to hold off on ttc due to my health and it seemed like forever for next ttc to arrive and look here I am with a BFP!
Rozzie: Haven't you been busy. Was it fun setting up the nursery etc. It sure sounds like it. I can totally understand the irritability bit as well. It just seems like no matter what people say, they say the wrong thing. I think it is the energy they say it with that makes the difference. if someone I know loves me and has been supportive re losing Charlie says something I am usually ok regardless of what they say. But if someone says something, even if it is nice, and I know they just don't get it, then they **** me off!
Cindee: Good to hear from you too and again, thanks for the congrats!
Tildy: I have to say that your mother sounds absolutely terrible. I complain about mine, but I think yours takes the cake. You should stick to you guns though and do whatever you think is best for you and your family.
Laney: All these sickies, what's going on! Hope you're feeling better. I know exactly what you mean about DH being away. I have already read mine the riot act. He has only missed 2 OB appointments but they just happened to be the 2 where I found out about the miscarriage and then about Charlie. So needless to say I am a little paranoid about him not being there for anything.
Jo(LM): thank you so much for sharing that poem. It was so beautiful and really sums up the whole ttc, next pregnancy, next baby issues. I am keeping a journal for my kids about this whole process and just life in general. it is written to them and just explains what's going on with DH and I at different times and why we make the choices we do. I hope someday it might help them understand our choices and help them learn from our experiences.
Teagz: how funny your DH thinking you would be keeping a BFP secret. I'm not sure it would be possible to keep such a thing. I am sure some women could but not many!! I hope you get what you are looking for out of Jayvan's test results and will be joining the ttcers soon. It is a good idea to wait though. It has really given me peace of mind, even though at the time when I put ttc off for a bit it nearly killed me. Now I know I have done all I could.
AFM well I went out yesterday and bought 2 of the most gorgeous organic cotton baby outfits. i really felt like I needed to just to cement in my confidence. With Charlie I did nothing because I was so anxious right from day one. I am determined this time will be different.
That is not to say I have not been having moments of completely freaking out. I just have to give myself a stern talking to when that happens.
I spoke to OB's office today and have my first appointment booked for 12 Feb. I should be just under 7 weeks and get to see a heartbeat if nothing else. Making the appointment made me feel so sick with anxiety but its a bit like the ttc thing. It is so hard to do but if I don't do it then i won't get the reassurance of seeing that my little one is ok.
Oh girls, I am just so happy that soon I will have a little baby in my arms. I am sorry that some of you are still waiting to ttc and get your BFP's but once you do it is so worth it. It just feels like such a miracle and it is such a lovely surprise during the day when I have forgotten I am PG and then all of a sudden remember. Thank you all for your support and well wishes, I wish you all your much longed for earth angels as soon as possible.
Hope everyone is well, and rested after the nice long weekend. We're bracing ourselves for the next 4 days as it'll be 38-41 degrees every day until Friday....thank God for my aircon which we only installed last summer !
Paula, don't worry too much about not having m/s, it might arrive a little bit later ! When I was pregnant with Joshua I was waiting for it to hit me like a tone of bricks, but then all I ever got was a few dry retches in the morning (mind you, 8am on the dot for 8 weeks!) and that was it. My mum said she didn't have any morning sickness with me or my brother so maybe that was why I didn't have it so bad. You are such a good girl for eating healthy stuff and excercising, you go girl ! Very proud of you
Soon you'll be able to see that beautiful heartbeat and baby on the screen, how exciting !
Dee, good luck with your IVF treatment hun, I will be there myself mid year I hope ! The journey will be what you make it to be, so positive attitude is really good. I still think I fell pregnant with Josh the first time on IVF because I was so relaxed about it. I know it's really daunting, and scary, but you will get there and you will have that much longed for baby xx
On another note, I think you have a really wonderful brother. My brother didn't say boo when I lost Joshua and in fact it took him a couple of months to start talking to me again, and that was after I made the first move ! In case you're wondering, my brother is real loner, and hasn't got any social skills, so after my initial disgust with his behaviour, I thought 'hell, I am the bigger person here' and I spoke to him first. Not about Josh though, I hope one day he wil realise how hurtful (i'm sure not intentionally) he's been.
Theresa, I hope you're well on your road to recovery hun ! Your DF sounds just wonderful, make sure he looks after you like a queen ! Big hugs hun and big lovey belly rubs for your little one xx
Megan, that book really opened my eyes to who we really are. I'm more spiritual than I am religious (i go to church twice a year, i prefer to talk with God at home), so I do believe that our souls just use our body to get around, and of course learn as much as they can during its lifetimes. I just thought it was beautiful when it said in the book, the spirit of a newborn will come when it's ready and it definitely chooses its mum and dad. The other thing that was really nice, was that if the soul decides that the body doesn't suit her/him or if it isn't ready to be born (apparently it can change its mind) , it will wait until the mum becomes pregnant again and it will be born then. Makes you think...huh ? I don't know if this is too heavy for you, sorry if I have offended anyone !
Rozzie, that comment that people make about finally being parents, well hello, you are already a parent, twice !!! Makes me so mad when poeple tell me that I will be a mum soon, I am a mum ! I am a mum to my darling little angel Joshua, and that is the greatest honour that was given to me.
Tildy, I can imagine how frasturating mothers can be. I won't go on about mine (i think i would be here for hours) but i can tell you that my mum really pressurised me to have a baby and when I lost Jushua it was all about her. She's suffered more than me, it's been so hard on her, she's lost a baby grandson too, me, me, me, me. I kept telling her that as much as I acknowledged her loss as a grandparent, I was the one who has lost a son and I eventually got her to think less selfishly. I think she's more understanding now, but I still think deep down, she's disappointed I didn't give her that granchild she so longed for. I can understand how if feels to have so much pressure put on you by your mum (i am so sorry to hear that you've lost your sister ) because my mum reckons that my brother will never get married and i'm her only chance. Go figure!
PS I can't believe that comment about 'Jesus keeps killing your babies until you start believing in him' I simply have no comment for this, I am just shocked.
Laney, i'm sorry to hear you haven't been feeling so good, i hope you feel a lot better soon. Big bear hugs to you, and big belly rubs for your bubba xxx
Jo76, I can see what you mean about your DHs mother. Mine can be pretty selfish too, wanting everything to be about her, but I just always cut her down a peg or two (in the nicest way though) and she backs off a little. Mothers, hey !?
Jo, thank you so much for your poem, and yes, it made me cry. It's so touching and I can relate to it on so many levels, thank you ! Hope bubba is nice and happy with that nice long cervix ! When is your next scan ??
Teagz, it's good that you chose not to fight that cold. It's the first thing we do isn't it ? But when you just let go, it takes its course and leaves us alone. Come to think of it, I think we should apply the same rule when TTC. We should just let go, and let nature take its course. Thought for the day ! LOL
Diana, let us know when you've arrived back and I hope you've had a lovely holiday hun xxx
OMG, I've run out of steam...big hello to the rest of you wonderfull ladies, hope you're having an OK day.
I'm so sorry Teagz for the lack of the answers you so wanted and needed. Is there any other tests they can/will do ? I can feel your frasturation, i know that knowing what happened is so much better than not knowing. When I lost Joshua, my OB first said that the fibroid was a 'contributing factor' in my miscarriage, and left the 'major' factor as 'unknown'. I remember feeling so lost and angry that I wasn't given 'the' reason for his early arrival. Deep in my heart though, I just knew it was the fibroid. With time, the OB changed his mind and said the forbroid was probably the likely cause of the uterus going into spasms/contractions, together with the drugs that were pumped into me to stop my contractions. I thought he might say that, especially because he didn't order any tests on Joshua when he was born. I was glad to know that my gut feeling served me right once again.
Sorry hun, I still hope they can come up with something..
Teagz, I am so sorry hun, that must be so frustrating to say the least. Have the doc's been able to even give you general information around similar cases to yours to try and understand what may have happened? Big hugs to you
Beata, I definelty believe that we are spiritual beings or 'souls' that our bodies carry around. I think there is certainly some food for thought in being patient and waiting for the baby to be ready. Maybe it was something I needed to hear right now, I have starting getting a bit anxious and do need to be a bit more calm, so thank you
Paula, really good to see that you are confident about this little chicky and have bought some outfits, good for you!
Jo, thank you for sharing that poem, it is really beautiful and says it all so well.
Rozzie, your right I'm sure it wasn't a m/c, the ms feeling just kind of surprised me, my hormones do feel like they are all over the place.
Talking about people saying the wrong thing, I know I can put my foot in it sometimes as well and want to apologise if I have at all offending anyone on here. I think my way of coping is to be 'positive' and try and move forward, even when I am falling apart and I can see how that could upset someone else in this position, so sorry if I have upset anyone
Rozzie, I just read your story. It broke my heart, tiny coffins are just not right. Thank you for sharing this with us. You have been through such an ordeal from ttc to losing your precious angel. I am so glad you are carrying Edwards brother or sister and pray that they come into the world safely Not long to go for you now!
Hi Megan,
I'm so glad that I have helped you in some small way, I know I have certainly learned a thing or two from that beautiful book, and i somehow feel much calmer these days. I really came to accept and understand that as much as we want control in our lives, sometimes we really don't, and that's not a bad thing either. I think a baby comes into our lives when it's well and truly ready, and also when we're ready. Stay positive hun, that's the best advice I can give you, and it will happen for us
And no, you have never offended me in any way, shape or form, and I think you are such a sweet and caring person, I dont know why you would think that way. You always give us great advice and a vote of confidence when we really need it. Thanks hun !
Beata, No. I'm gong to have a proper appointment with my Dr next week to discuss everything a little more. So hopefully he may explain things a little more. He had said over the phone that the only cause of death was his internal cavity filling with fluid, other than that he was a perfectly normal baby.
I feel horrible this morning now it's sunken in. When I found out I was pregnant, Jayvan was a surprise, we were pretty shocked and completely unprepared to be parents! The news only sunk in after my 12 week ultrasound and we only really enjoyed and became excited at being pregnant for about 6 weeks or so, It was only in the last week DF had started giving my belly kisses when he came home from work. Some days I feel like he was taken from us as punishment for being so ungrateful and not appreciating our baby more from the very start, and now I have the outcome of the results I feel like that even more so seeing as there is no clear medical explanation for why he died.
Hi Rozzie, that you so much for sharing Edward's story with me, it was very beautiful and so sad at the same time. I've indentified with so many emotions you went through, it just broke my heart. Big hugs hun
love
beata xxx
Teagz, I'm so sorry hun that you're feeling like this , but believe me, you have not been punished for anything you think that you've done. That is such a classic feeling we women feel after our loss, but the simple truth is, there is nothing you've done that have made you lose your precious little baby. I also went through the same feelings of guilt of having done something I shouldn't have, like too much walking or lifting something too heavy, or doing gardening, etc, and now I realise that my body has let me down, and that's the simple but painful truth. I know that if the fibroid wasn't growing there, Joshua would have still been in my belly.
As for feeling guiltly about not appreciating Jayden more, please don't as your baby always knew how much you loved him and still do, and always will. I was scared out of my head for the first 12 weeks thinking something was going to go wrong, I only started to relax and enjoy my pregnancy around my 20 week scan, and 6 days later I delivered Joshua. I feel like I've only really bonded with him in the last two or so weeks before he was born. So you're not alone ther hun, but just think how differently we'll do things the second time around....I will enjoy every second of my pregnancy, and I mean every second of it.
Big hugs hun xxxx
) because my mum reckons that my brother will never get married and i'm her only chance. Go figure! 
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