I'm so sorry Teagz for the lack of the answers you so wanted and needed. Is there any other tests they can/will do ? I can feel your frasturation, i know that knowing what happened is so much better than not knowing. When I lost Joshua, my OB first said that the fibroid was a 'contributing factor' in my miscarriage, and left the 'major' factor as 'unknown'. I remember feeling so lost and angry that I wasn't given 'the' reason for his early arrival. Deep in my heart though, I just knew it was the fibroid. With time, the OB changed his mind and said the forbroid was probably the likely cause of the uterus going into spasms/contractions, together with the drugs that were pumped into me to stop my contractions. I thought he might say that, especially because he didn't order any tests on Joshua when he was born. I was glad to know that my gut feeling served me right once again.
Sorry hun, I still hope they can come up with something..
Teagz, I am so sorry hun, that must be so frustrating to say the least. Have the doc's been able to even give you general information around similar cases to yours to try and understand what may have happened? Big hugs to you
Beata, I definelty believe that we are spiritual beings or 'souls' that our bodies carry around. I think there is certainly some food for thought in being patient and waiting for the baby to be ready. Maybe it was something I needed to hear right now, I have starting getting a bit anxious and do need to be a bit more calm, so thank you
Paula, really good to see that you are confident about this little chicky and have bought some outfits, good for you!
Jo, thank you for sharing that poem, it is really beautiful and says it all so well.
Rozzie, your right I'm sure it wasn't a m/c, the ms feeling just kind of surprised me, my hormones do feel like they are all over the place.
Talking about people saying the wrong thing, I know I can put my foot in it sometimes as well and want to apologise if I have at all offending anyone on here. I think my way of coping is to be 'positive' and try and move forward, even when I am falling apart and I can see how that could upset someone else in this position, so sorry if I have upset anyone
Rozzie, I just read your story. It broke my heart, tiny coffins are just not right. Thank you for sharing this with us. You have been through such an ordeal from ttc to losing your precious angel. I am so glad you are carrying Edwards brother or sister and pray that they come into the world safely Not long to go for you now!
Hi Megan,
I'm so glad that I have helped you in some small way, I know I have certainly learned a thing or two from that beautiful book, and i somehow feel much calmer these days. I really came to accept and understand that as much as we want control in our lives, sometimes we really don't, and that's not a bad thing either. I think a baby comes into our lives when it's well and truly ready, and also when we're ready. Stay positive hun, that's the best advice I can give you, and it will happen for us
And no, you have never offended me in any way, shape or form, and I think you are such a sweet and caring person, I dont know why you would think that way. You always give us great advice and a vote of confidence when we really need it. Thanks hun !
Beata, No. I'm gong to have a proper appointment with my Dr next week to discuss everything a little more. So hopefully he may explain things a little more. He had said over the phone that the only cause of death was his internal cavity filling with fluid, other than that he was a perfectly normal baby.
I feel horrible this morning now it's sunken in. When I found out I was pregnant, Jayvan was a surprise, we were pretty shocked and completely unprepared to be parents! The news only sunk in after my 12 week ultrasound and we only really enjoyed and became excited at being pregnant for about 6 weeks or so, It was only in the last week DF had started giving my belly kisses when he came home from work. Some days I feel like he was taken from us as punishment for being so ungrateful and not appreciating our baby more from the very start, and now I have the outcome of the results I feel like that even more so seeing as there is no clear medical explanation for why he died.
Hi Rozzie, that you so much for sharing Edward's story with me, it was very beautiful and so sad at the same time. I've indentified with so many emotions you went through, it just broke my heart. Big hugs hun
love
beata xxx
Teagz, I'm so sorry hun that you're feeling like this , but believe me, you have not been punished for anything you think that you've done. That is such a classic feeling we women feel after our loss, but the simple truth is, there is nothing you've done that have made you lose your precious little baby. I also went through the same feelings of guilt of having done something I shouldn't have, like too much walking or lifting something too heavy, or doing gardening, etc, and now I realise that my body has let me down, and that's the simple but painful truth. I know that if the fibroid wasn't growing there, Joshua would have still been in my belly.
As for feeling guiltly about not appreciating Jayden more, please don't as your baby always knew how much you loved him and still do, and always will. I was scared out of my head for the first 12 weeks thinking something was going to go wrong, I only started to relax and enjoy my pregnancy around my 20 week scan, and 6 days later I delivered Joshua. I feel like I've only really bonded with him in the last two or so weeks before he was born. So you're not alone ther hun, but just think how differently we'll do things the second time around....I will enjoy every second of my pregnancy, and I mean every second of it.
Big hugs hun xxxx
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Not long to go for you now!
, but believe me, you have not been punished for anything you think that you've done. That is such a classic feeling we women feel after our loss, but the simple truth is, there is nothing you've done that have made you lose your precious little baby. I also went through the same feelings of guilt of having done something I shouldn't have, like too much walking or lifting something too heavy, or doing gardening, etc, and now I realise that my body has let me down, and that's the simple but painful truth. I know that if the fibroid wasn't growing there, Joshua would have still been in my belly.
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