TTC after Late Loss, Recurrent Miscarriage or Stillbirth #2 2010

[crumpet]

Crumpet - oh sweetie - poor DH. It is tough, so tough, tough on you and DH. I think you can help him best just by being there and being honest. Now isn't the time to hide away those feelings, and same for him. The way through is by supporting each other. Maybe as hard as it is, you can do something to make this pregnancy special? I am having trouble with ideas for you - maybe a special dinner, or setting aside a quiet time every week to just talk and allow yourselves to dream and hope a little or if you can't do that yet, just to have some peace in the moment. My poor DH is in a "drought" too, but we try and still show our affections. Holding hands, an email, a txt, a silly note left somewhere unexpected, a card in the mail, doing something special for each other - cooking a fav meal or making a hot drink for the other. Or in my case, sometimes it's trying not to talk his ear off about things he really isn't interested in and just let him have some quiet time. That is sooooo much harder than it sounds. LOL. Sometimes DH will bring home a treatie for me - a freddo or other lolly. I must be sad if I find that exciting. But I do. What it means is he took the time to think of me and then did something about it. How cool is that? Your relationship with your DH is important and worth celebrating. It's easy to let our much desired goal take all the attention ..... try not to forget yourselves and how much you care for each other in the process of trying to achieve your dreams. Oh I just realised why my catheter experience wasn't painful.... perhaps the epidural had something to do with it? God I feel so dumb..... only taken me 18 months to work that one out.

AFM- well Fur baby 2 is having his tooth extracted today. I am not as anxious or upset as I was 2 weeks ago for fur baby #1, but still am a little anxious especially when he appears to have lost 400g in 3 weeks. Will hopefully get some answers on that either later today after he is weighed with different scales or tomorrow when his blood work comes back. As for now I am just counting down til 4.30pm - his discharge time, then I can fuss over him. He is truly my fur baby. I spent a lot of time cuddling him last night and this morning and just listening to his intoxicating purr. It is truly one of the best sounds in my world.

A big hello to Susie Q, Angelic, Chez, ChrisW, Tenibear.

i have been thinking about booking a 3D scan for DH as a suprise, i know he doesnt see the need for them but i think he might enjoy just seeing bub 3D before it arrives.....
ive been trying to do things to make life easier for him to, like bake a cake or some biscuts for work, i cook every night and do all the house stuff, coz i know he feels the pressure with being the sole earner in the house atm......

might have to get more creative and do something else a bit more special...... thanks for the ideas hun anything helps atm.....

awww hope ur furbaby does ok with his op today!

[SusieQ]

Teni - happy belated birthday. Hope your cycle has sorted it self out and that you do get you BFP on your birthday. I will always remember when I got my BFP with DS cause it was Xmas day!!! Best present ever. I'm so sorry that you are having problems with your cousin. I don't think people really understand until they go through this themselves (which if i had one genie wish it would be that nobody did have to go through it).

Dory - your poor furbaby. I hope he/she is OK and that he/she is loving all the extra cuddles and attention. Also good to hear that things are moving along for you with your bubs (stalking you on the preg forum)

Gigi - well done girl for striking out with the new hair do! Me - hmmm tried the bob once but didn't work. Have had the same long (Rachel from friends type) hair do for the past 10 years but would love to have the guts to do something different!!

Crumpet - Oh sweetie, I am so sorry your DH is having such a tough time. Men grieve just as hard don't they but show it in different ways and also dealing with the anxiety about this pregnancy must be hard on both of you. Take care of each other. Good luck with the stitch also. Doesn't sound pleasant but then I was surprised how quickly I recovered from D&C's so I hope you will recover from your surgery quickly also.

Now, I know this may seem absolutely unbelievable but my year of hell is continuing. I have the chickenpox at the ripe old age of 35!!! With everything else I have been through it is almost so ridiculous you have to laugh. Somehow DS managed to avoid it (though I imagine I picked it up at some kids class we go to) but he is bound to get it in a couple of weeks. So just as I will get better, he will get it and we will probably be house bound for a month (a fate worse than death with a toddler!!) DH has been awesome and is taking time of work to look after him as it isn't fair to keep him locked up all day with me and also I have been feeling like the hell the past couple of days. I am feeling a bit better now that the worst headache of my life has gone along with the fever but now I am starting to itch. My DH has a list of products an arm long to take to the pharmacy, Calamine lotion, anti-hist, calendula cream. Hopefully the anti-hist will make me so drowsy I won't remember the next week or so!!

The only up-side to this was that when I was pregnant with DD I was always paranoid that I or DS would pick up chicken pox somewhere. At least next pregnancy I won't have to worry. Also, this last D&C seems to have been successful as I haven't had any bleeding. Just have to wait for next period now as there definitely will be no sexy time with me being pox riddled!!!! I really do look like a plague victim from the middle ages.....

[TeniBear]

Not belated at all, Susie, you're right on time Bummer about having chickenpox

[crumpet]

Crumpet - Oh sweetie, I am so sorry your DH is having such a tough time. Men grieve just as hard don't they but show it in different ways and also dealing with the anxiety about this pregnancy must be hard on both of you. Take care of each other. Good luck with the stitch also. Doesn't sound pleasant but then I was surprised how quickly I recovered from D&C's so I hope you will recover from your surgery quickly also.

Now, I know this may seem absolutely unbelievable but my year of hell is continuing. I have the chickenpox at the ripe old age of 35!!! With everything else I have been through it is almost so ridiculous you have to laugh. Somehow DS managed to avoid it (though I imagine I picked it up at some kids class we go to) but he is bound to get it in a couple of weeks. So just as I will get better, he will get it and we will probably be house bound for a month (a fate worse than death with a toddler!!) DH has been awesome and is taking time of work to look after him as it isn't fair to keep him locked up all day with me and also I have been feeling like the hell the past couple of days. I am feeling a bit better now that the worst headache of my life has gone along with the fever but now I am starting to itch. My DH has a list of products an arm long to take to the pharmacy, Calamine lotion, anti-hist, calendula cream. Hopefully the anti-hist will make me so drowsy I won't remember the next week or so!!

The only up-side to this was that when I was pregnant with DD I was always paranoid that I or DS would pick up chicken pox somewhere. At least next pregnancy I won't have to worry. Also, this last D&C seems to have been successful as I haven't had any bleeding. Just have to wait for next period now as there definitely will be no sexy time with me being pox riddled!!!! I really do look like a plague victim from the middle ages.....

thanks hun, he seems a lot better now, might have been a bad 2 weeks i think.....
i had a D&C almost straight after delivering coz my placenta disintegrated due to the infection and i did ok after than so hopefully the stitch is the same, although my OB says he doesnt want me completely asleep, mind u im not telling him i tend to zonk when anything stronger than oanadine forte is in my system!! lol......

wow chicken pox u poor poor thing!! i had it at 14 and it was hell!!!

hope it goes away soon!

[ChrisW]

Hello Ladies!

First and foremost – HAPPY BIRTHDAY TENIBEAR!!! It’s still the 9th here in the states but I think you’re already onto the 10th where you are (or are you onto the 11th and I missed it?). Hope you have (had) a great day. My fingers are still crossed for you for June!! Did you test today? Also big raspberry to your cousin!

Dory – Thanks for the encouragement. I am looking at Dr. Joanne Kwak-Kim at the Chicago School of Medicine (RFU). She worked closely with Dr. Beer during his time in Chicago prior to his starting a private clinic in California. Her philosophies and treatment strategies are comparable to Dr. Beers and it is much closer to us than California. BTW, I read the Beer book you recommended and it is really great. Thanks for the turning me on to that! Hope you, DH, and all the furbabies are doing well.

Crumpet – Glad to hear the results of the scan were normal, even though the journey was eventful! I’ll be thinking of you and hoping that your procedure goes well. I’m also sorry to hear that DH is sad and that it is so hard for you to envision a positive outcome. After so many early losses, the sight of a BFP is enough to make me cry and start the grieving process almost immediately. We must still have some hope, though since we still keep trying. DH and I did much better this last time around in terms of embracing the baby and trying to be happy for every moment we had until we lost our angel. I like the idea of a 3D scan. It gives you a little more to hold on to.

Powelly – I know what you mean about being afraid to fall pregnant. We lost all of ours at 5 weeks so for me, that BFP usually brings fear and dread. I’m afraid to love the baby. I’m afraid not to love the baby. It’s almost like I’m afraid that either wanting it too much or not enough will make me lose the baby. I think Dory and many others here have said it numerous times – one day at a time, be grateful for every moment for however long it lasts. Hopefully I can be as strong for our next BFP.

Gigi – LOL, I’ll have to remember that joke! I do have a great GP and endocrinologist, so I know there are good doctors out there, but I have unfortunately been to some real doozies. Also – props for having the guts to whack your hair. I usually have waist-length hair, but occasionally get fed up and get it cut short. I then instantly regret it (you’re right, it’s way more work than long hair) and start re-growing. I’m glad you still love it.

SusieQ – Hope you are doing OK, hun. Chicken pox?! You’re just having all the fun!

Hi also to CharliB, Hope, Angelic, Chez, Samcougar, Lemonade, Cmegles and anyone else I may have missed. Hope you are all doing well and that we hear from you soon.

AFM – I was being kind to DH last Sat and mowed our backyard – that is until I hit a yellow jacket nest in the ground. Did I mention that I’m allergic to wasp stings? So I’m stung multiple times, racing at top speed from the yard to our kitchen door, and completely freaking out. I’m yelling for DH at the top of my lungs, in excruciating pain, and flinging items at random out of our freezer until I find a suitable cold pack (peas). DH FINALLY makes it downstairs from the office and tells me that I should really tell him what the matter is when I call for him so that he will know whether or not it is an emergency. Now really… the whole screaming incoherently at the top of my lungs didn’t tip you off? I didn’t actually think I was being that subtle. To top it all off, my epi-pen was completely buried in our kitchen junk drawer and when we finally found it…. it was expired by 4 years. Thank God I didn’t need it, although I did swell up pretty spectacularly. I’ve been on steroids for four days now and the swelling has finally just gone down (although I’m still a bit itchy and have some hives). On the bright side, I now have a ready-made excuse for why I can no longer mow the lawn!

Hugs, baby dust, and sticky vibes to everyone! xoxo

[dory]

SusieQ - oh sweetie - I had the chicken pox as an adult too ( 26 I think) and it was awful. I still vividly remember it. The fever and headaches preceding the outbreak of the blisters and then dealing with the physical discomfort of the itching and unsightliness of the blisters. Do everything you can to get some relief and try not to scratch! I hope you don't have them on inside your eyes, nose, throat, lips, private areas..... PINETARSOL worked wonders for me when other products didn't. Hopefully DH doesn't get it. I even got my DH to drive me around at night so I could at least get out of our apartment, and it was dark so not many people could see my pox ridden face. Anyway, feel better soon.... thinking of you. And thanks for stalking me in other threads.... it's really touching. hugs.

ChrisW- OMG - that is so scary and boo hoo to DH for being an idiot about it! Maybe that's just his stress reaction? Are you ok now? Hope you got your epi pen script re filled. Good that you haven't needed it for ages.... Has DH smoked out those wasps? I didn't realise they nested in the ground. I think most wasps here in Oz nest in trees/vines. I am glad you found a clinic much closer to home than Cal. I love Chicago btw, been there a few times and honestly never tire of it. It's cosmopolitan without being too crazy. Of course they have made the most of the lakeside although I can't for the life of me imagine what possesses people to swim in Lake Michigan. I heard the tox levels are quite high of Chicago. It does look so blue and inviting though....admittedly I have never braved Chicago in winter..... but its great in late spring, summer and early autumn. I think the last time I went was summer and it was very much like a summer here but without the oppressive humidity. And I love squirrels and their flambouyant tails.

Hello to everyone else. Hope, Angelic ( busy busy as usual?) Samcougar, Lemonade ( have you had your appointment with your new Dr yet?)

Crumpet - good news girl.

Gigi - how are you feeling?

Cmeggles - hows it going......

Chez - you ok?

Teni hope you had a nice day. What did you do?

Powelly - It's ok to be scared, of everything. I think it's normal after loss.

[crumpet]

Crumpet – Glad to hear the results of the scan were normal, even though the journey was eventful! I’ll be thinking of you and hoping that your procedure goes well. I’m also sorry to hear that DH is sad and that it is so hard for you to envision a positive outcome. After so many early losses, the sight of a BFP is enough to make me cry and start the grieving process almost immediately. We must still have some hope, though since we still keep trying. DH and I did much better this last time around in terms of embracing the baby and trying to be happy for every moment we had until we lost our angel. I like the idea of a 3D scan. It gives you a little more to hold on to.
AFM – I was being kind to DH last Sat and mowed our backyard – that is until I hit a yellow jacket nest in the ground. Did I mention that I’m allergic to wasp stings? So I’m stung multiple times, racing at top speed from the yard to our kitchen door, and completely freaking out. I’m yelling for DH at the top of my lungs, in excruciating pain, and flinging items at random out of our freezer until I find a suitable cold pack (peas). DH FINALLY makes it downstairs from the office and tells me that I should really tell him what the matter is when I call for him so that he will know whether or not it is an emergency. Now really… the whole screaming incoherently at the top of my lungs didn’t tip you off? I didn’t actually think I was being that subtle. To top it all off, my epi-pen was completely buried in our kitchen junk drawer and when we finally found it…. it was expired by 4 years. Thank God I didn’t need it, although I did swell up pretty spectacularly. I’ve been on steroids for four days now and the swelling has finally just gone down (although I’m still a bit itchy and have some hives). On the bright side, I now have a ready-made excuse for why I can no longer mow the lawn!

Hugs, baby dust, and sticky vibes to everyone! xoxo

thanks chris, im hoping when/if we get to 28weeks it will be a nice suprise for DH to see worm in 3D only not just the usual scans.... he says he can see why ppl get them but cant see the point of spending the $$$, to bad if he doesnt know that he is going to one!!! lol....

OMG u poor thing!!! dont worry my DH doesnt react when i yell either, yet if there is a massive bang or something he comes running










HAPPT BIRTHDAY TENI!!!!!!
hope u get everything u wish for this year!!!!