Chez - thankyou I like your sneaky plan. Pap smear can wait! It's funny about smear timing. I was due for mine this year, but when I was feeling up to it, and wasn't TCC , in one of my m/c appointments with the ob I demanded a smear. Seems it worked out for the best. No way I would consent to one now. Hopefully it works out for you with a BFP.
AFM - well today was my darling Amelia's first anniversary. 23 Feb 2009; 14:28; 455grams; 27 cms; 21 weeks on the cusp of 22 weeks gest, our brown haired girl. I can't and don't think of it as her birthday. That just doesn't work for me.
Today, wasn't as hard as I thought it might be. I was more affected leading up to today than on today. DH took the day off work and I am not working( one week of no work for me as of today!), so we slept in and snuggled ( no BD for me, way too scared) and then went for brunch and then a walk in the park and along the river. In the arvo we snuggled again, looked through our photos, shared some precious memories and listened to the songs we had played for the funeral service. In the end as sad as I am, the most significant memory for me today is just how much our precious girl was loved and how much she gave to us in those fleeting joyous but heartbreaking moments. I am so blessed to have been given such a precious gift. So today? DH and I honoured our baby girl by living, and remembering her. I had day reams of doing something more symbolic, but in the end, for me, it felt contrived and we did what felt right for us. Weird sometimes how the right thing just sneaks up on you.
Thankyou so much for all the love and support you've each given me. Thanks for reading about my day, it was important for me to share. It's weird, no one else ( family or friends) seems to have remembered, or if they did, they didn't say anything. It means a lot to me that you have each remembered and your words and support have really helped me through, every day, not just today. Take care.
_
Don't have a lot of time now, but I want to say hello everyone!
Dory-what a beautiful way to remember Amelia. Happy Birthday to her....(we are on a pretty big time delay here). It is nice to remember the love and joy along with the sadness.
Thinking of all of you.
I'll write more after I teach dance this afternoon!
Dory - what a beautiful description of what sounded like a peaceful and honest way to remember Amelia. You have made me cry (again) but it is crying in recognition of how strong all of us in here are and what we have all been through. To be able to look back on this recent event and describe it as a precious gift is wonderful. I only hope that one day I will be able to look back and see the past the way you do.
AFM - we had our BD rendezvous in Melbourne last night. I woke up this morning and did the POAS thing for the my fertility monitor and would you believe that both sticks I took with me were faulty - so no test. But judging by my CM I would say that I am ovulating right on schedule - today or tomorrow. This is the first time we have been using pre-seed, and I had AP yesterday before the flight, so I am feeling somewhat hopeful, but not overly so. It would be nice if DH was around tonight just to boost our chances, but I figure we fell pg last time with only one BD on CD12 so maybe this time?
Hi everyone! I woke up this morning to 6 inches of snow! It is beautiful and keeps coming down.
Gigi1- how are you feeling? I know my body gets all out of whack when I am sick too. I think that is normal. I am so sorry that it means you have to wait out this cycle. I think it is great that you went in. Too often I keep going until I am really sick. and don't worry about CMV, although it is in the herpes family---it is estimated that almost 100% of adults have caught it at one time or another. That is just crazy! Anyways I hope you are starting to feel better.
Chez- so nice to have a getaway for BD! Did you get to a nice romantic hotel? So sorry it was a short trip..... and so annoying that the sticks you took with you were faulty. Sounds like your chances are good! My fingers and toes are crossed for you! I think it was a good call to delay your pap. I really hope this is the month for you hun!
Bubo- A very delayed welcome to our thread. I am so sorry to meet you this way, and I hope the TTC journey is short. I have found this thread EXTREMELY helpful and supportive---I hope you do too.
Dory- How are you feeling? I think it is great you are taking off of work. Taking care of yourself can be a full time job.....there is a book called "To Full Term: A Mother's Triumph Over Miscarriage" that is a personal story of a woman's successful pregnancy after her losses, and describes her bed rest. I loved the book and thought it might be some nice reading while you are relaxing if you want someone to relate to. I also want to say that this is also my favorite thread! I belong to a few others and none of them are as positive and supportive as this one---which really is what I need.
Blessedatlast- How are the many supplements and formula taking going? Are you still doing a food diary? Learning anything? Sometimes I feel like I should start doing that....might help me to learn lots about my eating habits....but I am too lazy I guess. How is this cycle going for you? O?
beata- After your post I broke down and used the last of my OPKs. They were nearing expiration, but helped me figure out that I at least had an LH surge and hopefully things work out. How are you?
So seeing my friends daughter was truly wonderful. I was so nervous, but it made me realize how much I want my own child and how much love there is in my heart for a baby. The hardest thing is that DH wouldn't hold her---I didn't quite realize it then, but he also didn't hold our son and later told me that the first baby he holds he wants to be our healthy crying baby. It just pulls at my heart strings.
On another note, we finally got a framed copy of the poem "Child of my heart" that we had commissioned to be written in calligraphy around our son's footprints. We both love it and feel that it completes out home.
AFM- I am on CD15, looks like I O yest or today (my temp hasn't increased as of this morning). DH and I are having lots of fun this month. I also added some other things to try and focus on me and being low stress and healthy-- I got a massage on Monday and one a week ago. I am trying to relax as much as possible. DH says that he thinks it is helping. He went and looked up tips for him to TTC and has implemented them into our 'routine'...I find this adorable. I love that he took the initiative--sometimes I forget he wants a bub as much as I do. I am hoping the stars are aligned this month and we get into that 25%!
Dory - It was lovely to read about your day remembering Amelia... Sounds like you had a lovely peaceful day. It's shame no one else remembered (or acknowledged) the day. How did that affect you? I didn't give people a chance to forget, I sent a letter with suggestions how to honour Taite and Seth for their 1st birthday.. A bit forward maybe, but I knew I would be really upset or angry if no one remembered or acknowledged them so this was my way of making sure that didn't happen! I probably wont do it again though..
Chez - A baby making rendevous sounds romantic!! I really hope it works.. Imagine telling Bub in years to come how he/she was concieved!
Cmeggles - Glad seeing your friends daughter wasn't too painful.. Good luck this month. It's good to know your DH is on the same page when it comes to TTC.. Sometimes I wonder about DP as he expresses his feelings very differently to me (or not at all!) and sometimes I have to get that reassurance that this is what he wants too and he's not just along for the ride..
AFM - well still no AF.. Only on CD19 though so nothing exciting yet.. I'm not even sure if I O'd because I had what looked like a thermal shift but my temp dipped again. (Or maybe that means I did O, but just didn't concieve??) I am really confused and this is only the 1st cycle of temping so I need to be more patient I think, have a couple more cycles before I try to analyse it.. Umm.. Yeah right I analyse EVERYTHING to do with TTC!!
Hi everyone,
Just a quick and selfish post today I am sorry. I started reading all your messages above and realised I just wasn't taking it in. I am sorry and I will make it up to you all.
AFM- Yesterday was the day we looked back a year ago to when we first heard our DD's heartbeat and then shortly after told she was going to die. Today, 1 year ago is that day our lives changed so dramatically. You know when you look back and you think, at what 'point' did everything change? It was then. Before that moment, that day, we were filled with blissful joy, anticipation, love and such happiness. Pride too, we were so proud of DD, of us, of me.
Oh bu55er, i think i have to have a couple of goes at this. I will be back later.
I miss her so so much. xoxo
I wrote a big post last night and lost it, agrrrrr!!! So will be quick this time, I don't have that much energy. The reason why I have not been posting is that I am absolutely devastated to have found out earlier this week that my beautiful pussy cat Pooky is dying of terminal cancer, so it's just a matter of thime before I have to put her out of her misery. I am so dreading this day, and I know it's very very soon now.
Foe quick personals....
Dory, I hope Amelia's angelversary was as peaceful and as gently to you and your hubby as possible. Big hugs hun
I like your sneaky plan. Pap smear can wait! It's funny about smear timing. I was due for mine this year, but when I was feeling up to it, and wasn't TCC , in one of my m/c appointments with the ob I demanded a smear. Seems it worked out for the best. No way I would consent to one now. Hopefully it works out for you with a BFP.
to all..
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