Afternoon Lovely Ladies,
Gigi - so sorry to hear of your SIL and brothers loss. I really dont know what to say, my heart just breaks now everytime I hear of another woman going through baby loss. Before losing James I was always saddened when hearing that someone lost a baby but now it is such a personal pain. Im sure they appreciate everything you are and will do for them, just knowing you're there and and that you care would be a comfort. When hearing James had passed away my brother drove all day to be with me and was there for the birth. Having my brother at any of my labours was not something I had ever thought to ask of him, but he was amazing. I am thankful every day that he was there with my mum and my DH when James was born. Our relationship is different now, stronger. Do you have a close relationship with your SIL?
How are things with you? You sounded a bit down in your last few posts (understandably).
AFM - having quite a bad day, just overly emotional, cried so many times! I think knowing that we are now officially TTC has thrown me a bit. It is 6 weeks today since James was born, I know that is not very long but I am just so desperate to be pregnant. We started trying to conceive with James on the advice of my Ob as I have reoccurring CN3's so he wants me to hurry up and have babies so if I need to have a hysterectomy I can. So I have that terrible feeling now of time ticking away. Everyone says your still young (31) you have time etc etc, but as I now know baby making is not as damn easy as it looks. I have spent so many years of my adult life trying not to get pregnant it seems like a cruel joke now I am so desperate to be pregnant.
Sorry for prattling on everyone!
How is everyone else going? Everyone seems to be a bit quiet lately and I hope that is due to lots of baby making!
Chez - I am so glad that the news on bubs heart is good.... it must be such a relief. How is the bed rest coming? You must be close to 30 weeks by now? Or maybe more? Time takes on a different pace post TTC and post partum.... whereas before time was thick like molasis, now it's super slippery, like oil. Try as I might, I just can't keep a good grip on it.
Gi - how are you doing?
EmilyJames - hugs for a hard day....ttc after loss is so very hard and honestly, takes a lot of courage. So even though it feels like you're having a bad day, in fact it's just normal part of the grief jorney to have tough days and days that don't seem as tough. It's ok to be desperate to be pregnant too. I am sorry taht you have the added pressue of possible health problems. What is CN3's?
Am going out to dinner tonight.... am so tired that I am fast losing my enthusiasm for it, but I will solider on as I know it will be enjoyable once I get there..... can't live under a rock huh?
Hi girls, i know im ment to be taking a break from BB but i wanted to pop and ask u all a question.
did any of u go from wanting a baby more than u wanted to breathe, to not really knowing if u do want a baby?
From the week that Jack died all ive thought about is having another baby, but now that im getting back into things iused to do pre pregnancy, and the girls growing so much in the past few months, im not sure i actually do want antoher one. Jack was to be our last baby and maybe he will be?
i dont know maybe because we're actually trying now and are able to fall pregnant its scaring me.
The big factor is starting riding again, i dont ride when im pregnant, ive just found a new trainer who's fantstic and im looking into buying another horse, but if i fall pregnant again, i cant ride and dont want to buy a horse and turn it out for my entire pregnancy and then get back into it, god knows when! arrgghhh i dunno, is this normal?
Normal Normal Normal hun....which doesn't go to say which choice is right for you...that can change daily. I wish it were that simple. It peaves me -this part of the journey. Such a strong desire one minute mixed with a few nonchallant moments can really confuse the mind and the heart.
Sit with it for a bit longer and one of which will happen!!
Ha...such wisdom i have. NOT.
Thinking of you skybie, hope it gets clearer for you. There is nothing wrong with Jack being your last bubba.
xoxo
Thanks girl for all your lovely thoughts for my Bro and SIL. They have gone away for the weekend and none of us know where. So They are doing well, finding time for each other.
Girls, I might have to post this in another area however i will ask here first.
My darling nephew..(3), is going through such a hard time. He had constipation a some time ago and has now got a fissure. He is in absolute agony and it petrified of the toilet and doing a poo. It has become a horrible experience for him. Yesterday he said to me..'Aunty J.., i am never going to do a poo, ever ever again, forever!' My heart breaks for him. They have tried what seems like everything and for the first time last night they had to use an enema...which didn't work. The phobia is certainly growing and the pain for him is horrible. ATM he is having to have caster oil teaspoon everyday to soften the stool for him. He is having a good diet and they have cut back his milk and sugar. He gets god fibre and a bit of fruit. Anyone been through this and how did you get through it? xoxo
Gigi - your poor nephew! As a kid (roughly his age too!) I had troubles going to the toilet do do number 2s it was a little psychological for me. Has he been asked if he is holding it in because he doesn't want to go or just hasn't needed to?
There's a drink you can get from the chemist I think it's called movacol? It supposed to help with constipation. Otherwise my mum put me on chocolate flavored laxatives when I was younger and that seemed to help.
Afm- On the ttc front. Had clomid day 2-6 it's day 9 today. Stopped the blood tests after day 7 as I fainted and have a massive bruise.
Skybie- honey I feel like that every few days too. The whole am I really wanting a bub... It's normal I've been told. I don't want anyone thinking I've replaced my angel zach. (and my chem preg bubs!)
Hope everyone is well x
Sent from my iPhone (via Tapatalk) so please forgive the spelling mistakes...
Thanks LysnDan.. yeah he will need to go, stiffens his legs and tries to cross them, holds his bottom and his face is terrified as he is trying to stop his body from expelling. He goes into a sweat and starts crying and asking for help. It is just heart wrenching. So he needs to go and he stops himself. xoxo
I will pass that on to my SIL and Bro.
Hope you are feeling ok after that bruising experience. oxoxox
Hi Ladies,
Just popping my head in for a quick catch up - no energy for much tonight!
Dory - thanks a heap for the recurrent m/c info - I will check out the link & try & work out what I have/ haven't had. Hope you enjoyed your dinner out too.
Gigi - your poor little nephew - such a shame. No experince here sorry but hope something positive happens for him soon.
Lynsdan - hope dinner was nice & sorry to hear you aremissing your boy. Some days are definitely harder than others....I've had a bout 40 vials of blood taken in the last few weeks so am feeling your pain onn the bruised arms look
Chez - great news about bubbas heart - must be a big relief for you!!
Skybie - I think it is totally normal too to swing from wanting a baby more than anything to feelings of doubt. I too feel like that some days. I have 2 beautiful kids which for most is more than enough yet I am pushing for another when it seems the universe doesn't want me too. Some days you do question it all but I think if you look deep enough you know what is right for you.....Good luck sweety!
EmilyJames - hope tomorrow is a better day for you - hugs x Life can be quite ironic & cruel somtimes too - I totally agree!
Anyway girls - enjoy your Sundays & love, luck & magic to all of us xxxx
Skybie - ah.... thankyou for putting into words things that have been running around my own mind lately.... desperation mixed with ambivalence, and in my case guilt too. Glad the girls are doing so well. And I agree with Gi, it's ok if Jack is your last bubba. Only you know what will work for you and your family. But it's a lot to work through.
I haven't ridden a horse in ages, but OMG I just adore the smell of them, and I love the feel of their muzzle and their ears and love the sound as they softly exhale ( some might say snort, but it's more gentle than that). I like they way they move. I like they way they are sneaky about somethings and downright stubborn about others. I find their teeth a bit creepy though.... I think it's the green staining.
The one thing I have learnt on this journey, is don't hold back.... "waiting". If you do, then life will pass you by. But I also learnt that when I had constant nausea for about 4 years. Initially I just stayed home, hoping to get better, but after a while I just got on with doing things, because if I didn't because I felt sick then I wouldn't have done anything.
In my experience, you tend to regret the things you didn't do rather than the ones you did. And besides, I get the feeling that you need to do something for you, something that really makes you happy.
Gi - oh dear sweet little boy! It's so sad that he is so frightened of doing a poo, and that's because it hurts so much. How truly awful to be so frightened of something he has to do. I know there is surgery for fissures, for adults but not sure for kids. My great niece has similar issues but she's only 18 months old. They've been to see a paed but I can't remember what happened with it all, except that she still has problems. Just hugs, for a poor frightened little boy and parents who must just be in knots trying to help.
LnD - GL, hopefully the clomid worked for you this cycle. Has DH come back? I thought I read somewhere that he was going away? You'll never replace Zach and people who think that haven't walked in your shoes and don't understand. You can't control what people think, and sometimes people are just so niaive they will think anything. I was probably one of them..... Enjoy dinner :P Let your bruise show and maybe start some family gossip... oh I am naughty tonight.
Emily James - hope you're going ok today.
AFM - had a bit of a watershed moment recently. I had a conversation with a relative, who I find a bit bossy, and after the call, I thought, why did I ever bother to call you? After feeling critized for my lifestyle and parenting choices, and compared unfavourably to someone else, I just felt pretty downtrodden. But I have devised a strategy to respond to the unfavourable comparisions..... I used to defend myself, but it sounded so hollow and pathetic to me. Sort of whiney? So I have come up with a response and am just waiting to test it out. If I were a different personality I would just speak my mind, and start a family feud, but that's not me. Besides, the last time I said my mind, the family feud lasted for months..... yikes, I just can't be bothered with that sort of caper.
Anyway, I'd best be off. Take care. And belly rubs to those lucky enough to be doing the hard yards of being UTD after late loss....
Hey ladies! Hope you're all well. I will pop in a bit later with persies as I've just got back from my holiday, but Gi I wanted to tell you Cam had the worst constipation a few months ago to the point of me having to put those clear bullets up his bottom so his poo would come out (it was when he was coming off formula onto cow's milk and also it coincided with me giving him heaps more solids than milk). Well it worked but I couldn't to that every time he was clogged up so I give him 1/2 stewed apple a day (granny smith is the best) and he's been having soft poos since. Mum told me that how she deals with her terrible constipation so she suggested to try it on wee man. Your SIL could try that.....xx
Dory- dh is home. Will be until Thursday. Then he's back to work
Dinner went okay. Got a tad bit drunk. The inlaws never make meeting easy... I felt so uncomfortable. Lol after a few drinks I started to feel better.
They brought up having babies and I had a bit of a poor me moment and mil asked me if I was pregnant yet. (dah- I'm drinking- of course I'm not!) lol can't handle people asking at the moment.
Anyway hope everyone is well.
Sent from my iPhone (via Tapatalk) so please forgive the spelling mistakes...
Thought I would pop in here and share my journey with all you lovely ladies. After having my 3rd MC a few months ago we are now back TTC again. I am currently in the 2WW and I think I am about 5-6DPO I usually only have a 8 day LP Oing on day 21 or so. This cycle I actually O'd on day 15-16 which is a huge shock to me as I haven't taken any more Clomid since my cycle where I fell pregnant with bub #4 whom I lost at 9.5weeks which totally gutted me after having and hearing a very strong heart beat on more than 3 ultra sounds. But we are back in the game again and I have my next FS appointment at the end of June thinking about making a DR appointment today to have a BT to check my progesterone levels in a couple of days time if AF don't turn up before then.
I look forward to getting to know you all in here and hope I can help you all through our journey of TTC.
Clairesmummy...welcome and I am sorry it has not been an easy journey for you. You will find beautiful and caring women in here and I know...all the suppor tyou will need. I hope your stay in here is short but as long as you want it to be. osos Take care and good luck for this cycle. I hope it is a bubba to stay! xoxo
Clairesmummy - welcome sweety - I know your story well & was utterly devo'd for you after your latest loss.
I am not actively ttc for another cycle or 2 due to recurrent m/c testing but will be rearing to go again soon too.
Do you plan on trying the clomid again or just natural for the next few cycles? Hopefully you wont need cos you've got
a sticky bubba on board. All the best anyway x
LnD - double d'oh on the inlaws having to ask if your pg esp when your sitting there with them having a drink. A tad insensitive I would
think. Hugs....
Dory - well done to you for trying to keep the peace re: the phone call with your relative. Some times it'as tempting to stoop to their level but be
strong & stay true to yourself.
Anyway, a big hi to everyone else - bbl for more news!
xxxx
Chin up love, the days are young. You will reach the end with glory and grace. I know you will.
Sweet, what does P.I.G mean?
Good luck this month, my fingers are crossed for you.
AFM- CD6 and AF should be done now...before end of the day anyway. Preparing for our last couple of attempts i think. The end is nigh and we are doing ok. I will not be in here much talking about me/us as i have a feeling there will be enough pressure without talking myself into more. So this is the last you will hear about this cycle from me. I think that is best.
GOod timing, my first Psych appointment will be while I am ovulating, which should be an interesting dynamic. Not sure yet if it will be a good thing of not to be trenching through the past and how i am feeling at such a senstitive time...or maybe it is the perfect time to do so. I will go with the flow and make the most of it.
Love to you all...busy couple fo weeks for me and dh. Last 1st bday for a nephew this weekend for the year. The theme is carnival and I am going as a fortune teller/gypsy...so true to my spirit. Guide Dogs stuff going well so far. Went to an info morning yesterday and it was more that i thought but I am still up for it. The first 8weeks i have to carry it up and down stairs...and not let it walk about until it is vaccinated among other things...should be interesting.
Sands meeting tonight, mechanic tomorrow...camping next week and a bit of looking after the kids Mon/Tues. Somehow i think i need this distraction in the the TWW instead.
Anyway back to yoga for now.
Thinking of you all...
Chez, hope you are going well. Thankful to hear little man's heart will heal in time. Keep those legs crossed!
Skybie, hope your decision making is getting easier with time. I looove horses and everythign Dory said just made be 'feel' them all over again. I will go horse riding in Aug down at a friends house. DH is allergic to them...so i have never learned as i would have like to. But i have been and I love it. I frightens me a little. They are so big. But i can't help feel a connection to horses. They are magnificent animals. I love their eyelashes and the way they shiver to shake off a fly or relax. I, like dory, also love thier smell. xoxo
LND, good luck sweet. I hope this is our month. Your inlaws sound like fun love...hope you enjoyed the food and not having to wash up!
Em J, I wish my brothers were as brave...they are big chickens for showing emotion, but i love them anyway. I am close with my SILs, one more than the other but pretty close. After losing DD, it put a lot of strain on those relationships for me. Love, why do you have to have a hysterectomy...or maybe have to? Is there another way. I don't want to assuem you haven't but have you looked into alternatives? I wish you were not feeling this pressure. Your beautiful boy was born such a short time ago and there is enough pressure to live life without all the rest. I hope you are feeling a bit better. Thinking of you. xx
Miss B, Thank you hun, I have passed that on. He is getting a lot better in the last few days. Still quite stressed but has been doing a soft poo everyday again...thankfully.
Dory, How are you going love? Hope the household is feeling well again. Winter is on it's way...so time to crack out the soups and warming slow cooked meals. Hope you enjoyed your dinner out too.
really missing my boy today. 
Bookmarks