Girls, I am so sorry I have been so absent. I have had trouble keeping up with it all. I have also been away. So in my feeble attempt to catch up....here we go.

Dores my darling girl. SO SO SO thrilled for you gorgeous. Wishing you a happy and healthy pregnancy hun and i know it is early days but I am still so excited and I hope it is a wonderful wonderful experience for you. xooxoxox

Lady Tess,- I can not put it any better than LionandBears, awesome job to tally up only one meltdown in 30wks....and so frustrating how people around you handle this. They will never know and nor would you wish it on them, but they will never understand. Keep going lovely, i hope peace of mind is around the corner for you. xoxo

EmJ- Incredible effort hun and good luck on setting it all up officially. I had no idea it costs so much. I couldn't agree more about age/timing of loss. I read a great comment/response to silly remarks from people that have an opinion of severity of loss according to gestation that was just perfectly put for me..it read- 'Do you mean to say that you value and love your eldest child more than your youngest?' How people can place a value from the outside of a situation is beyond me...rude infact and totally unfounded. Good luck on the test results hun, hope they give you something to work with and you can get busy again love. oxxoxo

S&S- Thinking of you and hope you are healing in body and heart gorgeous. I really hope you are doing ok. Love and hugs to you. xoxo

L&B- oh Hun, I am sure you are a wonderful but grieving wife, and mother. Cut your sugar and get out for a short walk each day and i hope it helps the mood changes for you hun. You really don't need the swing when you are looking at depression.
Yes i am certainly more sensitive with things on tv etc. I also look at it as an opportunity to cry when some days i feel like my tears have dried up. I used the expereinces...when i was up to it, it prompt my thoughts about DD and memories of her. It helped me feel closer to her. I kind of enjoy that in a way, having a good cry and being comfortable with my grief. It would help me bring feelings to teh surface- anger, questions, fear, sadness, and utter heartbreak. I am so broken for you hun in this raw pain.
Well it is not a secret anymore...cemetries used to firghten me and remind me of everything sad. I used to walk around them and look at al the grave stones. I would come home in tears grieving my infertility and thinking i will never be a grandmother etc etc...i was terrified that no one will miss me, live on after me. It absolutely terrified me. Now, i find it comforting, i feel calm there and I try to visit one now and again. I find solice in reading other peoples pain on a tomb stone. I helps me not feel so alone. It also reminds me of my own pain, it's signifigance and the pain of others. I don't know...it comforts me and i try to grab a take away hot choc and walk around or sit there. Reading the stones also makes me feel like these people are being thought of.

I have to go to bed now...
But quickly Little miss snapdragon is doing very well. She is just incredible. Her tantrums are getting better and her training is really going well. We had a nice break this week and we all benefited i think. I am happy to say...i have fallen for her. She is just gorgeous. She has been with us now for 5wks and we are all doing well. xoxoxoxxo
CD24 for me....stupid me POAS yesterday and of course it was neg.

Love and hope to all i have not done a persie for. Thinking of you. xoxoxo
HMxxx