Miss B - I have been holding back and not hounding you about this cycle, but I have been itching, just itching to ask. I remembered it was January!!!!! OMG, so excited for you. I can't say I understand exactly what it's like, but my bestie has been LTTC with assisted conception - so I get to hear what she says about it. I don't think you ever lose the fear sweets, it's just about finding ways to manage it. You will, you've done it before. I think though the second pregnancy after loss is actually harder in some ways. Or maybe it's just that memory is a slippery thing and I don't remember just how hard it was with HB, and you may not with Cam, but the here and now can be pretty intense. I find that with HB here it's so much harder to find time for me and my grief and anxiety - which pregnancy brings with it - but it's also a very real and deep understanding of what is lost when our baby dies, not something idealised or hoped? But on the plus side, there is some small measure of confidence that at least the body can get across the line.

Anyway, I hope your BT's show a super sticky bubs and you get to join the crazy roller coaster ride.

I can't believe Cam will be 2 in about a month or so.

Anyway, better go. GL, I have everything FX'ed for you.