TTC after Late Loss, Recurrent Miscarriage or Stillbirth ~ #5 2011

[dory]

miss B - happy birthday to your second miracle boy, Cam, for tomorrow.... thinking of you and Josh and your angel. Oh and Al.

[Miss.B]

Thanks Gigi, so far I've decided to give a/c a go, this lady I've been recommended does specialise in a/c together with IVF. I've sent an email to Sharkeys too, see how that goes. Hope you're doing OK hunni xoxox

Thanks Dory, I can't believe Cam is 2 today. The last 2 years have gone by in a flash. I'm not a baker (or a cook for that matter! lol) but a close friend of ours, who is a fabulous cook has baked Cam a cake in a shape of 2, and it looks delish. He is one spoilt little munchkin today Thanks for your wishes hun, will pass a big Happy Birthday kiss and cuddle from aunty Dory

[EmilyJames]

Our little man is gone. Last Wednesday I stood up from the dining table and thought I wet myself but when I looked down there was blood running down my legs. I was taken to our local hospital then rushed to John Hunter Hospital in Newcastle. That night I bled so much I was one more bleed away from a transfusion and the doctors doing an emergency c section. The bleeding slowed for the next 3 days and then on Sunday the contractions started. At 3.06pm our beautiful Jakson Robert was born breech at 24 weeks and 4 days. He cried and they put him on the ventilator. He was in NICU for 2 days before his little body couldnt fight anymore. He was in our arms as he left us to join his brother in heaven. Two sons funerals in 11 months and 4 angel babies in a year. We are done. I cannot do it anymore.

[blessedatlast]

EmilyJames, I am so shocked to read this. Congratulations on birthing another son. I am so so sorry he couldn't stay. my heart is absolutely breaking for you. much love and strength as you farewell Baby Jakson. Big big words just fail me , I'm so sorry I don't know what else to say x

[LionsandBears]

emilyJames - I am so shocked and devastated to read you've lost another little boy. I am so sorry Jakson could not stay. It's awful doing it once, let alone twice. I wish I could sit with you and let you cry.

My boys' funeral were 11 months apart too. What an awful thing to share with someone. One is too many. Two is a horror beyond words.

If you ever want to talk, I'm happy to PM you my number. Or I can call you. I know how hard it is to pick up the phone even if you do want to talk to someone.

[Amity]

EmilyJames - congratulations on the birth of Jakson Robert. I'm so sorry he couldn't stay.

Thinking of you and your family at this time. Wishing you gentle hugs and strength.

[Tegam]

Oh Emilyjames. I am so sorry. The pain you must be feeling is unimaginable. Sending you much strength

[Miss.B]

EmilyJames, I am so saddened, shocked and so heartbroken to read of your news. Congratulations on birthing your beautiful little boy Jakson Robert. Sending you much love, strength and many many hugs to you and your family xoxox

[chepie]

EmilyJames I am lost for words..... sending you all the love and strength xooxo

[Diamond Girl]

Emily James - I am so sorry that your beautiful baby boy Jackson Robert left this world to be with his brother.

Thinking of you and wishing so badly that you didnt have to endure such incredible heartbreak again.

[dory]

EJ - oh sweetie..... I am so heart broken for you. Like LnB - I know part of your journey, too many funerals for your precious children in too short a time. Strangely for me I am lost for words. My heart aches for you and your family. Shocked too as the day you posted, I was going through my own dramas, and thoughts and a very close reality of an april fools day baby, born too soon.

I am so sorry that Jakson couldn't stay. He sounds like a strong little man, and your love for him, and for James, and your other angels just shines through. My blossom, you will get through. I know you will, but do what you need to, and do so without worry about others. This is the time for your family, both earthside and angels, to support each other and find your way through.

For what it's worth, hugs.

[mummytotwo]

Hi Ladies - I am back from my 5 week trip to Scotland so thought I would pop in to say 'hi'.
I am very sad to read your news EJ - that is just devestating beyond words & I feel incredibly sad for your losses.
Hugs & healing to you sweety x
Love to everyone else also.....

[dory]

M22 - hope your trip away was awesome...... it's pretty quiet in here these days.

[mummytotwo]

Thanks Dory - trip was amazing - best one EVER!
Yes it is awful quite in here huh......easy to get worn down & despondent on this journey....
Love & light to all
xxxx

[TTC-a-miracle]

Hi everyone
We are TTC after 2 losses one at 25 weeks and another a few months ago at 18 weeks

[dory]

TTC a mircale - oh blossom.... what heartache and tragedy brings us together. First of all congratulations on being a mumma to angels. It's a very special club. Secondly, I am so so sorry your angels couldn't stay. How are you doing emotionally? When you're ready to share your birth experiences and your memories of your precious wee ones, I would love to hear about them. Until then, thinking of you and sending you lots of love. In terms of TTC, where are you in your cycle? I found being in here, and the loss threads incredibly helpful in my healing and I have made some amazing friends here, that have turned into IRL friends. Much love. xxooo Did you name your babies? Did you get to see them, cuddle them? Could you? Some people can't. What investigations have you had? A lot of questions, I know and you don't have to answer any of them. You can tell me I am a nosy parker......


M22 - I am so vague..... are you TTC? How is it all going? I really want to be in here again officially TTC instead of just dreaming and hoping my time will come again. How are the kidlets? How's your grief?

It's Amelia's 4th anniversary soon. OMG, 4 years! When did that happen? Sometimes I miss the raw grief, the struggles just to do everyday activities. It sort of gave me a purpose. And I suspect an identity. A bereaved mum. Now? It's harder. Most people just assume because I am blessed to have my rainbows that the angels no longer matter. Oh how wrong they are. I am so shaped by their life and death.

[TTC-a-miracle]

Dory thank you for your welcome
To be honest emotionally I am not that great everyone around me has babies or is pregnant and I've almost had that twice
With my cycle I am day 6 of a 30-32 day cycle I have just bought a thermometer and salvia ovulation tester to pin point when I ovulate
I did name them yes Imogen and James. I saw both and held both my husband saw but didn't hold and now regrets that which emotionally he is not coping with well
I have had structural, hormonal and genetic testing all has come back normal except for discovering I have a uterine fibroid but was told that was not the cause so we are at a loss on what we can do to avoid it again

[TeniBear]

To be honest emotionally I am not that great everyone around me has babies or is pregnant and I've almost had that twice

That was one of the hardest things for me, seeing others having their babies while I mourned mine. I was pregnant at the same time as a couple of my cousins and a friend, DS was born right in the middle of them all. It's still difficult, since I'm still in contact and have to endure the birthdays...

And the "almost had that twice" part, I definitely feel you there. From eight weeks with my daughter I just thought "I've been through the full length of a pregnancy, can't I just have my baby?!"