TTC after Recurrent Miscarriage/Stillbirth or Loss after 1st trimester ~ December 07

[Katiegirl]

Simba thank you for sharing Lani's story. I am very sorry for your loss and I am hope you find support here.

Barbara - sorry that AF is on its way. And I hope they will be able to help give you some more answers on how to control your gene (which I can't remember what it was - too many letters sorry). I understand your frustration with AF, we also had no problems conceiving Nathaniel and I just think it will be too cruel if after losing our babies we then have to suffer the trials of TTCing for months. I just hope that both of our cycles have not been affected to greatly and that we will be back on track soon. I am now 10DPO and not sure what to think - temps still relatively high (for me) but know that the next 4 days is when I will see a temp dip. I don't think I am pregnant but of course we always hold our hope. I hope your week looks up for you and take care. Big hugs.

Hi Jo - a night in sounds lovely. I am so boring these days! I used to be a big social butterfly and my mother often despaired of my partying ways, but I slowed down a couple of years ago and now basically have to force myself to go to a bar. The bar on Friday night was fun, but outside where it was nice all the smokers had congregated and it was like getting hit all at once. Not nice.

[Auntie M]

oh, Simba, i just had to pop in to give you a huge virtual hug. this thread helped me through many a dark day after our son Yeti died at 39 weeks due to a cord accident that cut him off from life. we gave induced birth to him and held his sweet smelling little body for hours before they took him to the funeral home. i'm now in the pregnancy thread and trying to keep my sanity, but i stalk everyone here too just to check on everyone. i'm so crashing this time, but your story is so painful i had to offer some hugs and tears for your awful pain at losing your sweet little daughter. your journey has been so incredibly hard; i am so sorry for your loss and wish that i had some words that could comfort you and take the pain away. BB has been such a life line to me, to share thoughts and feelings that make others so uncomfortable and to be understood and supported. i hope you find that same small comfort here. big hugs my dear, and lots of tears. m

[Simba]

thanks for letting me share my story it really means so much i wish i had of found this sooner! i found out about the support groups around but decided they werent my thing at the moment. Very Special Kids offer a lot of support so that has been good but it is nice to talk with people on the same page "TTC again"

i am getting close to when AF could be here (my cycle never really got regular after coming off the pill and getting pg with Lani so i dont really know when to expect it) i did a HPT today - it was BFN - i knew it would be as its probably too early but sometimes can help myself (I'm guessing I'm not the only one that does that!) I'm sure it will be soon - i just would really like it this month then I would be due in Nov - the same month Lani was born. also, and i feel so selfish but am hating work so much so the quicker i can finish there the better! starting a new job was not the best choice with all this going on.

wishing you all a happy week

[Katiegirl]

Hi Simba. I just wanted to say I understand how hard it is going back to work and picking up the pieces. If I was still pregnant, this would have been my last week at work. I was actually going to quit as the plan was for me to be a SAHM. Instead I am as busy as ever, and having to plan future marketing events etc etc. Sometimes my heart just isn't in it, and yet I know that it would be just as hard to quit and start a new job. I hate the fact that all the plans DH and I made for the 5 months I was pregnant, have all been put on hold for who knows how long. I think that was one of the hardest things for me after losing Nathaniel, the realisation that all our plans were not going to eventuate. It was like being handed my old life and being expected to return to how things used to be. That sounds so depressing! Sorry!!! I just wanted to let you know that you weren't alone in your thoughts - I think we all struggle with this.

Well my temp took another drop this morning - not huge but enough to make me think that AF is on its way. Feel a bit down about it, especially as yesterday I was at the naturopath and she told me that it was common for TTC to take 6 months or more. That just depressed me. I guess it was the exact opposite of what I wanted to hear. I am trying hard to keep positive and find good things that will come for each month I am not pregnant - more time to get fit and healthy etc.

[Simba]

katiegirl - thanks for that. its so true what you said about "getting your old life handed back to you" it really does feel like that sometimes. i made the choice to start teaching at new school this year and in some ways that has made it easier - most of the staff and none of the kids of parents know about Lani so i can just kind of get on with it and not have too many people worrying about me. i had to make a choice about going back to work before Lani had even passed away as it was so close to the end of the school year and i thought that this was the best rather than facing all the staff, families and kids at my old school and their "sympathy looks". but in many ways i miss my old school - if i dont get pg this year i will go back there to work next year (but hoping that wont happen)

still no AF so i guess - i didnt get into the temp charting. my DH talked me out of it as i am a bit OCD sometimes and like to plan everything and he felt it would take the spark out of DTD. he is probably right and we didnt have too much trouble getting pg last time so hopefully will be the same this time. (if not i might be coming to you all for some advice on how to do it!

good luck everyone one the TWW to us all

[Sonni]

Hi ladies,

How hard is this ttc thing!!! AF is due for me on Sat and I have now officially done 1,127,423 HPT with a BFN every time :P I hope you are all ok and thank you again

Simba, I am so sorry for the loss of your little angel Lani. There are just no words... It is so hard going back to any job after the death of your baby, but to also have to deal with the stress of a new place and unfamilliar territory must be terrible. When I went back, I had not been working throughout my pregnancy and didn't want to go back to the sort of salon I had been in. (I'm a hairdresser, colour tech) When I did go back to work it was also at a new job and I realy struggled. I hope you find happiness in your new work place and I realy hope you can share some happy news with everyone soon

[jo76]

shout out to everyone!
we need a few...


It sounds like we have all had some ups and downs lately. I am officially due now for AF and did a test yesterday but nothing. So will wait until at least mid next week to check again and in the meantime it may show up anyway. I have'nt had the AF symptoms so far so hopefully it is'nt my cycle still trying to even itself out. But since i don't show any preg symptoms either when i am, i can't even say anything for that! So i'll keep you posted...and to you guys that have them coming up in the next few days, I HOPE THEY DON"T COME! Don't have lots of time so no personals (hijacking parents computer again, only month till we move and i get my computer back!) so please take care and hope you all are ok! xxxx