Barbara - I feel so sad knowing what you've had to deal with today. It's just not fair. I do wish you had got some answers that could have brought some direction/clarity to both you and DH. It's seems only fair that the medical world should provide a REASON for the pain, sadness and terrible terrible loss. I still feel the same - I want someone to please please please tell me why? and how? this could happen. You are right to feel how you are. Take all the time you need to scream and cry...knowing that others are sending you hugs/white light/prayers or whatever they believe in to support you from all around the world.
I too had hoped that if someone could answer these questions it would give me somewhere to start for when we TTC'ed again. I needed to know why because I needed to ensure that it could never happen again. But what I've learned from the lovlies at BB - even when there is a reason - the reasons are always hideously unjust/random/unfair anyway.
If I could reach through the computer screen and huggle (that's a hug and cuddle together) you I would.
When you're ready / if you ever fancy pop into the pregancy thread and see all the beautiful bellies that have graduated from the TTC thread - it always gives me such hope that things will be Ok...
love Georgie