Hi girls!!
Well i couldn't resist, i did a HPT and im not pregnant yet. I am not too disapointed because i wasn't really sure of my cycle etc, so DH and i will keep trying!! I guess now i am expecting the witch on the 27th, so thats 11 days of trying hard!!!

Hey Klee, thinking of you today. Every day has its reminders, but its even harder on these extra special days. IKWYM about breaking down at work!! I had a break down while i was in town doing the banking!! Most embarrasing!! But it felt good too. I got support from the ladies at the take away store!! (small towns, i love it) A few of them had lost babies at some stage, so they shared their stories and it helped abit... plus i didn;t feel so crazy
Im sure Phoebe is playing away the day somewhere thinking of you and her daddy. A friend gave me a poem, i might post it tomorrow, its sweet, about angel babies playing in an angel Castle. I need to boost up my posts so i can PM so its a good reason!!

Aunty M A cherry tree sound fantastic!! You will be able to enjoy the cherries! We planted a Poincianna tree for Zahra at the pub i work at. Its growing nicely, and its nice to tend to it, i water it and stuff and it is quite theropudic (sorry about spelling) I sort of talk to her abit while i do it, it helps.

Jo Hope you are ok, good that you are getting checked out!! Keep your spirits up!!

Mel i think spring has sorted out my PM delema, i will try to email you tonight, we will get it together somehow!!

Kristy Hi there, welcome to our world! I am a huge chatter box so i will try to keep my short run down on my history short..... but i doubt that will happen....

My DH and i started trying as soon as we were married. We weren't full on trying , just not taking any precautions. After a year nothing had happened and we were about to look into having tests when i got pregnant. I was young and it was my first pregnancy so the doc said i shouldn't need a 12 week scan. everything seemed normal, my belly was growing, i was sick most of the day, everything seemed normal. When i went for my 18 week scan the sonographer said something was wrong but he couldn't tell us what. I had to drive to the closest large town (1/2 an hour away) for another scan. I saw a feotal surgeon (greg someone, really nice man) and he told me my baby had severe organ deformities. He only had one kidney which was really more a mass of cysts and he had fluid all through his body especially around his brain. The kidney was so big that it had squashed his other organs so they weren't growing properly. I was basically told that while he was still alive now, he had no chance of survival. It was a friday afternoon so i was going to have to wait until monday and go into the hospital and give birth to my angel baby boy Darren. Doctors did tests and found no aparant reason for this happeneing. They discribed it as a baby who should have miscarried but didn't. I had chromosomes checked and they were all good.
After this we waited awhile to try again. About a year later i fell pregnant first month off the pill and miscarried at 5 weeks, but didn't let it go until around 10 or 12 weeks. Again my body didn't want to let go. I had a D&C
I sort of tried to ignore my miscarrage like it didn't really matter. I hardly told any family. I told myself that it wasn't the same as loosing Darren because i wasn't that far along. Turned out it effected me more than i thought and my DH.After a few months we broke down and we went through alot of blood sweat and tears. We made it through eventually, much thanks to the fact that i got pregnant again.
Now we come to Zahra. I had my NT scan and had bad results for my age.. which stressed me out. Then at 18 weeks we found that i had a single vein single artery chord.(more stress) So we had a scan at 35 weeks to check if she was growing. The dr found a blood clot and an obstruction in her bowel and sent me home. I took myself to the hospital the next day but it was too late, the blood clot on my placenta had ruptured and Zahra's lifeline was lost.

I have had tests done and it turns out i have anticardiolipin antibodies which caused the bloodclot. This time (when it happens) i have to take aspirin to thin my blood. As for organ abnormalities i just have to hope that my body does a better job next time.
That wasn't too bad a rave i hope. I could have said more!!

Thats all from me folks!!
Take care evryone!
Katxox