I must admitt I get more annoyed with the registry, as the couple still choose the presents & depending on their taste they are not cheap either! And then when you wrap & give with a card they still know who bought what....so no different really.
We had a wishing well, we still got presents...it didn't bother me. That's what the "tacky" poem is for I guess. To let people know what you would "prefer" but that either way you are happy with whatever. Lucky for us the gifts we got were useful also.
But as I bridesmaid I don't see anything wrong with wanting to give a more personal gift & I don't think they would either. From memory myself & other bridesmaids for my sisters wedding all put money into something we "knew" she wanted/needed.
I guess that's why many choose the wishing well these days, then they can get that one big thing that really need & it's often more appreciated than a million smaller things they will never use. At the end of the day they have prob put a lot of time, effort & $$$ themselves into their special day, fed & watered the guests....it doesn't hurt to kindly ask for something that's going to be of more use when you know "x" amount of people will be coming & that it will more beneficial to you.
Also I couldn't to this day tell you who gave me what $$$, I didn't take any notice. My MIL wanted us to write in the cards the amount when we opened them & I said NO, I don't need to remember.