OK, another whinge about my best friend's wedding.

She is having a wishing well. And has put one of those tacky poems in the invite requesting money instead of gifts.

It really goes against the grain with me (although I'm sure some people disagree). We're all quite aware that she has a house set up with most of what she needs. That's why the gifts we'd give to her would be different to someone just starting out and setting up a house.

I'm one of those people who loves to shop for a gift and find something just right for the person. I love having put the thought into it and that by that object, their wedding day will be remembered. There are lots of gifts I have that make me think of a certain person every time I use them and they are treasured because of that. In the same way I'd like to be remembered in my friend's married life (or is that selfish?).

The thought of just giving them money seems so boring and thoughtless. Especially being that I'm a bridesmaid, having talked with the other bridesmaids, we would have liked to have gone in together to buy something really nice. Would it be rude to ignore the couple's wishes and get a present anyway?

The other thing I don't like about wishing wells is:
1) if I put in an amount with a card, they know how much I put in, and I don't want to be judged on how much I spent
2) if I put it in anonymously they won't know whether I have given anything at all...

I really don't get it - LOL!! I much prefer a present that they can enjoy as an object, without knowing how much I spent on it, but valuing it nonetheless.