Do you think there is a 'bridesmaid hieracrchy'?

[briggsy's girl]

the official certificate (that goes to births deaths and marriages) is signed by one "witness" - whether they be part of bridal party or not

our whole bridal party signed the "pretty" certificate that hangs on our wall...

[Nelle]

Don't you *sigh* at me, Mrs. Ryn. :P
For the purposes of this discussion, 'Maid/Matron of Honour' is Chief Bridesmaid.

And while I agree it's can be a trivial thing, you don't want to scowl at your wedding photos whenever you remember the politics and stupid stuff that was exacerbated just because a wedding can make big deals out of small details, by some kind of matrimonial magic.

[MrsBump]

Honestly i have my bestie as my cheif bridesmaid, i am thinking of having my Mum witness, aswell as one of DF's aunts..... That way all my BM's can be equal except my CBM who is organising my hens and all the little things.... like dress shopping for me!!

Hope that helps a little....

[dusty]

Why even worry about who is what and where in the hierachy is who...
If someone decides to have bridesmaids then it is probably a privelage to be asked in the first place, regardless if you are related or not, and your job is to help where the bride needs it before or during or after the wedding. Does it really matter? Isn't the whole point of a wedding about the couple getting married not the attendants if there are any?

Just my opinion

ETA: I should add my bias, as I didn't want attendants at all but DH absolutely insisted on having 3 groomsmen (who stood around doing nothing and looking a little silly IMO). So in the end I compromised and had 3 BMs (2 sisters and my BF). I have no idea if there was a chief as I didn't care one way or the other. My sisters and BF didn't seem to care either. If I did it again I would definitely not have any attendants (not that I am planning to!). I am sure the wedding will be lovely, they usually are.

[Lisa]

I wouldn't be fussed if either of my sisters chose the other sister as her maid/matron of honour... I think it is an honour to be asked to be a part of someone's bridal party.

I had a Man of Honour (My male cousin, who is like a brother to me) and DH had a Best WoMan... who is our SIL married to his eldest brother. This worked for us as we then didn't feel like we had to choose someone.

[mbear]

Does it really matter? Isn't the whole point of a wedding about the couple getting married not the attendants if there are any?

I think as a up and coming bride, yes dusty, it is a big deal. You want to get the whole day right, you want everyone to be happy, you want YOUR day to be just perfect. I can totally, totally understand her predicament.

I think she's going to have sister #3 sign the papers, yet have us walk into the church from oldest to youngest....ahhh the fun begins.......thanks ladies...

[TheBear]

For my first wedding we did all the family politics and did our best to cater for everyone that we wanted to be there and spent a fortune. All the family members had a role to play, a uniform to wear and a natty title to go with it, it took two years to organise and deal with all the arrangements - the guests flew in from all over the planet, the wedding cake was in multiple layers to cope with different dietary intolerances, standby venues to deal with bad weather, etc, etc, etc...

My second wedding took place in a drive through wedding chapel in Vegas, cost $50, and we told the friends and family about it after the event.

Somewhat bizarrely the drive through wedding was about as close to perfect as you could ever hope to get - it was our day, and nothing else intruded. When we look at the wedding photos we can't help but grin at the craziness of that time.

But back to the topic....

It's your day, you can have it any way you want it to be....you are there to make a commitment to someone, everything else is just window dressing. Don't forget to have fun...