Err. Is this how you want to do your wedding? YOUR wedding? (okay that is coming across wrong but suddenly by brain switched off. It's weird. It's just stopped working. I'm just laughing because it's your wedding so you do what you want, I'm not making fun of you. You know...it probably would have just been easier to delete this first sentence...but what if you've already read it...so I can't...I might go to bed...)
I do understand that they might find it weird to not go to the actual wedding but come to a reception - but they should respect that it's your choice. If they can't see the point in that and decide not to come, then that's their choice and the ball's in their court on that one. But you get married how YOU want to.
Last edited by Nelle; May 28th, 2010 at 10:51 PM.
: adding much insanity. I'm not sure it clarified anything really.
Alot of people prefer to have just family at the ceremony, then all friends at the reception.
I guess I'd say that if they don't see the point in coming all that way just for a party, then don't come! Its your wedding & your choice. it has nothing to do with them how you do it. To me it sounds perfect
You know, my personal philosophy is that I'd prefer to be or have people at the ceremony rather than the reception. But there's the thing - that's me, and how I carry on my weddings, and that's totally my business. Regardless of your "friend's" feelings, that message was breathtakingly rude and inappropriate. I think I'd be politely rescinding their invitation. "Thanks for that - I've taken that as a regret, and crossed you off the list. Have a nice life."
Agree with everyone else so far. YOUR wedding, YOUR decision as to who attends what. If your friend doesn't like it, too bad - and seriously, what's all this nonsense about her DD being disappointed that she's not going to be flowergirl? If you'd asked her to be flowergirl and then taken the invitation back, sure, I might be a bit offended, but if you never offered to begin with (or, I assume, it was a tentative 'depending on x, y and z', and it ends up being that she can't be FG), that's HER problem to deal with for putting ideas in her daughter's head to begin with!
Don't let it get to you, honey. If you back down for their sake and hold your wedding ceremony somewhere you don't absolutely love, you'll regret it. And I'm sure they will regret their pettiness if they refuse to attend your reception for the sake of making a point. Do things your way, hun - it's your special day, and we all do it differently. Whatever works for you
it had NEVER been mentioned that his daughter would be flower girl. i was never going to have any other flower girl other than DD but when i saw how good my friends DD was with my DD i thought i would be great if she could help my DD be flower girl, as she will only just be 2 and this other girl is 5.
I just replied and said 'at the end of the day we invited you to share our day, if you think its stupid or wierd thats a shame, but we want you there cause we love you and your family' what i wanted to say was 'well eff you then, stay at home with you misserable wife, see if i care'' but i held back!!
Its a shame that hes being so off about it. he actually said, 'i dont care is if its just family, at the end of the day you should have got a bigger church'
grrrrrrrrrr
I'd tell that person to go jump! "at the end of the day you should have gotten a bigger church" pffft who the heck does this person think he is? God? Your own personal wedding planner? I wouldn't worry about him or what he's said, he's clearly not nice. Who tries to make someone feel bad about their wedding plans, seriously! Even if he felt a bit hurt over it, the day isn't about him so the proper thing to do is suck it up and be happy for you on your special day. If he was a friend, that is. But it sounds like he's not.
I think it is totally up to you to decide what you want for you wedding. I am still flabberghasted that people think they have the right to tell you that they don't like your choices (even if they feel that way, why do they think they get to tell you?). We went through this at work recently, one girl made a huge deal about not being invited over certain other people to someones wedding - and actually told her to her face that she should be invited before xyz. Just wrong.
While I can appreciate what they are trying to say, I find that message just rude! We have close friends who were married in the celebrants lovely yard with only the brides brother and grooms sister as witnesses and they had lunch at a restaurant for all their friends and family to celebrate and we thought the whole thing was just wonderful.
Seriously, do it your way and remember it is all about you and your future husband - don't do it for anybody else! My husband and I went to Scotland to get married and had 8 friends there to celebrate and it was the best day of my life. Not to put a spanner in the works, but is it possible to have people outside the church where they can hear the ceremony and see you walk in and out together? A little chapel built on a friends property sounds like a perfect place to get married.
(okay that is coming across wrong but suddenly by brain switched off. It's weird. It's just stopped working. I'm just laughing because it's your wedding so you do what you want, I'm not making fun of you. You know...it probably would have just been easier to delete this first sentence...but what if you've already read it...so I can't...I might go to bed...)
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