Wedding that isn't a wedding

[Teeki]

Ooh wedding wedding wedding, how exciting!

But now that I've got that out of my system... I've always wanted to be married and have kids. I wanted us all to have the same name. There was no extra commitment by getting married, we both knew we weren't going anywhere. For me, I wanted us to declare our love in front of family and friends and celebrate each other. I guess I didn't need the legal side, I just figured why not as we'll be doing the ceremony and party anyway.

I like and agree with your reasons for not wanting a formal marriage. And I think if you want to celebrate yourselves, each other and your family, go ahead and have a "wedding" party, exactly as you want, with no legal requirements. Sounds awesome to me

[Phteven]

Marriage was important to my DH so we got married.
We had a ceremony and party but we didn't bother with the legal papers until we went to France. As my spouse DH could stay indefinitely but not as my de-facto so we went down to the registry office and got the paperwork taken care of.

[TaRhLi.]

I'm a Celebrant and to be honest, if you want to legally get married there are only 3 things in a ceremony which are compulsory to be done legally the rest of a wedding ceremony is just part of tradition but isn't needed.

You would need a Celebrant to do the legal aspects but really it would take 5 minutes to make it official. I am doing a lot of elopements and small ceremonies which don't have a lot of the frills, it is becoming more popular than big event type weddings.

If you want to know more you can PM me if you want to.

[wysiwyg]

We never wanted to get married, didn't see the point etc etc. Then when we moved to Australia felt more at home and weren't so against the idea - I then really wanted his name - didn't like my own knew we wanted kids wanted to all have same name - I said I could just change my name to his - he said that was too weird he would rather get married. I asked him Feb 29th, then changed my mind, but hadn't really told anyone - so we just left it - then once pregnant decided wanted to do it for the name reasons mainly, no engagement and got married very small ceremony here in Aus four weeks after deciding to do it, a few members of extended family were there as happened to be in Melbourne but no immediate family just friends. We had a celebrant, $2 rings and got married in an old tram in a park - was great. I got his name but that is really all that changed. We had been together 9 years already. I still find it odd calling him my husband and the day we met means more to me than the day we got married.

[little_O]

Being married has always been important to me.

I like that we are legally bound together as our own entity. In everyone's eyes he in mine and I am his. For me I wouldn't enter a business relationship or build a home without a contract so why would I share my life with someone for less.

I take marriage as "till death do us part" though (unless he played up...) and so nothing can come between our relationship.

I'm old fashioned though

[Jellyfish]

Being married has always been important to me.

I like that we are legally bound together as our own entity. In everyone's eyes he in mine and I am his. For me I wouldn't enter a business relationship or build a home without a contract so why would I share my life with someone for less.

I take marriage as "till death do us part" though (unless he played up...) and so nothing can come between our relationship.

I'm old fashioned though

Oh I definitely agree that this is a till death decision which is why I spoke of if he leaves as I am committing for life (as is he but obviously I can only vouch for my certainty). I just am not sure I need a contract about it? I feel like the best person to keep us accountable to our promise is ourselves and each other.

[little_O]

Sorry I should have added for me "contract" is a legally recognized promise to eachother.

But I'm also quite religious so that comes into it too for us

[Astrid]

You do what makes you happy as a couple I think that a wedding or something similar is a great way to get family and friends together, many people will make an effort for a wedding and sometimes it is the only way to get them together.

I wanted to married for mainly practical reasons. I wanted my then DP to officially be my next of the kin, the one recognised by others and institutions as the one to go to in an emergency. Sounds bizarre, but if you knew my (now thankfully ex) SIL, you would live in fear of her having say over what happens if you happen to be in a coma (my brother was listed as next of kin and she would have taken over).

I know these days defactos relationship have greater recognition, but I feel more comforted with a legal document. I have also come to realise that some of DH's family don't fully respect the relationship, so our relationship being recognised legally gives me comfort if something was to happen to DH.

There are also the personal reasons, more from fear than love. I watched my mother go through my father not marrying her. I had lived with others before and had seen how easy it was to just live with someone and not be truly committed.