We had a lot of the same thoughts as you and decided to go ahead and have a wedding. For us it was a celebration, a party and a day to gather our closest family and friends together. It was an awesome day. The honeymoon was a great perk. I wanted to be married for some of the reasons you've said- I wanted him to be my 'husband'. Calling him that felt significant. I also wanted the legal perks. We can now travel the world together and we're legally bound together as a unit. It's very helpful. I still VERY much want that for everyone and I strongly support marriage equality but I was very appreciative to be able to have my turn now. I think waiting out of respect is honourable though.

I say just have the wedding. If you don't want everyone to witness the ceremony you could have it earlier in the day at the marriage registry or quietly with a celebrant, and then have the "reception" party later. As a guest I'd feel jibbed because I love seeing the vows But it's your day, your way. You can make the ceremony just a short vow exchange if you want and keep the form signing for in private. However you want to do it!

Create your own day