Wedding that isn't a wedding

[Jellyfish]

To be honest if your going to go to the trouble of having a vow and dance and party celebration and you want to be called husband and wife then just hire a celebrant and be official. Kinda pointless for all the other stuff then IMO

I don't really see it as pointless because the symbolic gesture of promising myself to somebody for life is what means something to me and doesnt need a government stamp nor fit in with their definitions so would just feel odd to include that part. It would be like a nonreligious person using vows that included God, I don't really believe in the government defined marriage but I believe in my lifetime with DP.

[Beatrix]

I don't really see it as pointless because the symbolic gesture of promising myself to somebody for life is what means something to me and doesnt need a government stamp nor fit in with their definitions so would just feel odd to include that part. It would be like a nonreligious person using vows that included God, I don't really believe in the government defined marriage but I believe in my lifetime with DP.

Then you wont be husband and wife.. which is what you said you wanted to be called.

I too believe in marriage equality but not god so mine was a civil celebrant ceremony. I believe that a commitment ceremony which is what you have described to me is done in place of when a marriage is not legal (ie. same sex couples which I do believe should be allowed to be married but thats a whole other thread)

I just also think if you want to be called husband and wife and are going to all the trouble of the celebration and vow exchanging then it would be rather silly to not do the legal part to get the husband and wife title.

[Jellyfish]

Then you wont be husband and wife.. which is what you said you wanted to be called.

I too believe in marriage equality but not god so mine was a civil celebrant ceremony. I believe that a commitment ceremony which is what you have described to me is done in place of when a marriage is not legal (ie. same sex couples which I do believe should be allowed to be married but thats a whole other thread)

I just also think if you want to be called husband and wife and are going to all the trouble of the celebration and vow exchanging then it would be rather silly to not do the legal part to get the husband and wife title.

That was half a joke but at any rate, we will be to us

[raffy]

I didn't feel the urgency to get married until after DS1 was born and I was making post natal appointments and saying my name was X and DS1 name was Y then all of a sudden it was important for me to have the same name as my partner and son and by that point second child to be lol but I didn't feel it was necessary to go nuts on a party, so we had a tiny ceremony with our immediate family only and then we just all went out to dinner to celebrate

[luna moth]

I recently went to a celebrant-less non-wedding. I was pretty skeptical at first but it was A.Ma.Zing. The couple basically just called everyone together, gave a shared speech about what they thought about marriage and commitment, with some cool quotes from philosophers and scientists along the way. Then they turned to each other and made their promises, and it was open and raw and honest and just so REAL.

Then there was a big party, and it was just beautiful. Three weeks later they went and did the registry thing, they needed to for some legal thing, maybe to do with a visa. I dunno. Don't care. They're the most married people I know, certificate or not.