Weddings with no kids...

[sneakysparkle]

Ok I dont really know what Im asking here, so sorry if it doesnt make much sense!

Im going to a wedding interstate next month, and am taking my 4mth old with me (leaving my 2yr old at home)
Ive since found out that its a no-child wedding. Now Ive spoken to the bride and Im ok to take her, but it got me thinking. At what age does a baby become a "child" for the no-child wedding? I mean, would you expect to be able to take a two week old but not a two month old?

If you have had a no-child wedding, what age was the cut off? Am I unreasonable thinking that I should be able to have my baby there? I understand those who prefer an adults only thing - and would be happy to leave my toddler home.

But there is NO WAY I would leave my baby with someone else for the entire wedding/reception - Im BFing and definately wouldnt give her a bottle just so I could go to a wedding (sorry to any who would - thats JMO)

What are your thoughts??

[feeb]

At our wedding we had a no child rule APART from BF babies in which we had 3!!! a 2 month old, 8 month old and 9 month old.

[mrsmac]

I would think breastfed babies would be OK.

[Jahzara]

Our wedding ceremony was for one and all but our reception was child free.

It wasn't really an issue cause there weren't any babies - only older children that were able to be babysat by others.

It was nice for the adults to not have to worry for the evening.

Each to their own !

[paradise lost]

My DD is going to be the only kid at a no-kid wedding in a few weeks! SHe's the flower girl and has her own invite though. I was quite edgy about it actually because i can't predict how she'll behave and the bride doesn't want kids because she knows a few whose parents tend to say "Oh look at him wrecking that!" but don't DO anything and she says she has faith in me that i won't be like that (!? lol).

I would expect to be able to take a BFing infant to a wedding, up to about a year or so, after which you could probably let them have other food and just a big feed when you get back, but TBH i'm not sure i'd go to a wedding i couldn't take my kid to. I really don't "get" the omission of children at an event which is supposed to mark the joining of families. As if kids weren't part of (or perhaps even the POINT of) the family. But each to their own i suppose - i've never actually been invited to a wedding at which DD wasn't welcome!

Bx

[Smoke Jaguar]

I have noticed, from anecdotes, that child-free weddings end up being child-free with exceptions. Those exceptions then make it a bit of an insult to the parents who put their kids in someone else's care to go, when the kids in attendance were just as 'child-like' as the ones left out!
I'm not down with child-free weddings, either - if a wedding isn't a family event, I can't figure out what is!
Plus, the age-cut off, upper and lower is too vague. My mum didn't take us to a family friend's wedding when I was about 12 or 13 and my sister was 10...not sure how we were going to impede on the day...and of course, my mum reported loads of kids there anyway, despite the invite specification
We weren't sure if DS was invited to my cousin's wedding, but figured he was cos they knew we were bringing him all the way from Oz (wedding in Ireland)! Turns out he got gastro and gave it to me that night, so he was no problem with exuberance Breastfed 19 month old, who would have ordinarily been tearing around the hotel, who was coming regardless of no-child policy (wedding was in her fiance's county, where I have absolutely no family and didn't want to leave DS with perfect strangers!).

I think that if guests want to have a child-free time, they'll organise child-free themselves. If they would rather have kids there, it's not like the bride has to hold onto them and get her dress ruined. Personally, I think inclusion of kids makes a wedding more fun and joy-filled

[alioops]

For us it was to do with numbers. I am from a very large extended family and we had a rather small budget when it comes to weddings. The only children we had were relatives and all of our friends were understanding of that, because of the way we explained the reasons why we couldn't have friend's kids there. We only had about 30 friends and all the rest were family. We had 120 people at the reception. Kids were welcome at the ceremony, as we didn't need a number limit for the ceremony.

[Rivlas]

I would definitely take your DD to the wedding seeing its interstate. There is no way you would survive all that time without feeding.
Hoobley - Have someone you trust on call in case your DD needs to be taken home and put to bed. Its going to be a big day for her as well as for you.
We have a wedding photo of me holding my niece and when she was married she is holding my GS. So it can have special memories having babies at weddings

[paradise lost]

Hoobley - Have someone you trust on call in case your DD needs to be taken home and put to bed. Its going to be a big day for her as well as for you.

There isn't anyone. In her life DD has only been cared for by XP (who will be working) and DP (who will be at the wedding with us). Actually i will be leaving when she needs to go home to bed! The bride knows this - we had her hen on Saturday night and DP looked after DD while i got to go out, let my hair down and spend proper time with her. She knows that when DD gets tired we'll be going, and to that end they're having the ceilidh first so we can dance with her before we go

I will be very surprised if we're home much after 9.30pm.

Bx

[Rivlas]

Glad that things will work out.
It was great that you got to spend time with her on Saturday night as you don't get to spend any special time with the bride & groom on the wedding day.

[paradise lost]

LOL, i know, i can remember when my BF from childhood got married and i went to the loo with her to help her keep her skirts up out of the way while she pee'd and it was the only 5 minutes i got with her all day! LOL.

Bx

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

As if kids weren't part of (or perhaps even the POINT of) the family.

No, children are NOT the point of the family. A man and a woman joined in marriage are a family whether they have children or not. I know this isn't going to be popular on a parenting website but it's true - children aren't fashion accessories or optional extras but they are NOT the point of a family. A family can be a family without children.

TBH, I don't attend no-child weddings. If DS isn't welcome somewhere then my entire family isn't welcome. I remember being left out of a wedding age 7: "why am I not invited - am I bad? am I naughty? do they not love me?" Yes, at seven you're a bit too into yourself. Same with anything. If one member of my family isn't welcome, none of us are. But then, if I'm not welcome DH and DS don't want to go either! Similarly, I wouldn't go anywhere that banned DH.

I wouldn't mind DS leaving early if only someone would take him early! We've ducked out early of three weddings this year because DS was tired. But if he's not welcome then neither am I.

As for the age cut-off or exceptions - that's up to the bride and groom. There are many reasons to ban children, such as none in the family (I didn't have children there simply because none of my guests to the main bits did) or cost of food etc: it shouldn't be seen as a personal slight. Nor should exceptions. But if you feel strongly about it, don't go to the wedding.

[Pandora]

At our wedding we had a no child rule APART from BF babies in which we had 3!!! a 2 month old, 8 month old and 9 month old.

Ours was the same. one couple still brought their 5 year old anyway. I didnt mind so much ours was purely becuase of nubers..we had 100 people coming just with family over 18. It would have been easily doubled if all the kids had come as well.

[Turkish Delight]

I'm going to be Matron of Honour in a few months at a childless wedding. I'll be leaving DS with one family (who aren't invited) as he is very comfortable around them and leaving DD with another family friend which she absolutely adores. I've been told that my kids can come along but feel that i won't be able to attend to them on the big day and at the reception. I've told mum and dad that they'll probably need to leave early and pick up DD as she'll find sleeping in a different house pretty hard. It will also ease my mind, knowing that she's at mum's place during the night.
It's great having a childless wedding, but when you have kids yourself it's hard finding a suitable minder. I think bf bubs are ok to attend, but no toddlers running around.

[mybabylove]

we didnt have any children at our wedding either except for three babies under 6 months of age. The reason for this was mainly a space factor

[briggsy's girl]

i dont' have an issue with weddings that exclude children due to finances/numbers if that is explained at the time. my cousin had a very formal wedding,no kids - the venue was too small, the cost too large. his brother had a less formal wedding, but again, due to the venue, not enough room for kids.

we chose our venue to make sure it accommodated for children - for one, we had three kidlet attendants. for the other, we have family from all over the place, and i didn't want any of them to feel they couldnt' bring their children. kids were invited by name on some invites, by conversation with others. one friend has 10 children - they bought the youngest 4. i think in total we had about 15 kids there - they had a ball. but our wedding was very informal and it worked for us

i don't think excluding BF babies is appropriate, and if you're travelling ANYWHERE away from home, your kids should be included - but it really is a tough call

[Indadhanu]

I think bfing bubs would be ok and babies under 6 months... I think a lot of the time its the 'disruption' factor, some people want everything to be 'perfect', kids generally create chaos LOL. Sometimes its space too though how much space does a little person need!

I wouldn't go to a kid-free wedding, if Jazz isn't welcome then I'm not going, same as any other function. Our ceremony in September is jam-packed with kids. Its actually half adults half kids PMSL! It's gonna be loud, crazy, and probably complete chaos, just the way we like it hehehehe

[PinkPalace]

Usually with weddings it is children that are 2 things ive found

A. Walking children ie over 12 months - the couple may not want the running around and screaming etc

B. Seating - i have been to weddings with no kids and purely due to room and seating (needing high chairs etc) and the cost of catering as a lot of places charge adult prices.


I remember i said no kids at my wedding and had 10 come lol.... i guess it helps filters out those who have babysitters and those that didnt.

Most were babies though.

I took my DD at 14 months to a wedding. She and the brides daughter (9 months) were the only 2 there. They understood as it was a family wedding that all the family to babysit were at the wedding so i couldnt leave her at home.
She did spend the whole night running around though - not making noise but running around so i can understand it can be a bit distracting.

A bub i would say is no issue - i mean if your baby crys you step out side.. so it doesnt bother them anyhow