I think bfing bubs would be ok and babies under 6 months... I think a lot of the time its the 'disruption' factor, some people want everything to be 'perfect', kids generally create chaos LOL. Sometimes its space too though how much space does a little person need!
I wouldn't go to a kid-free wedding, if Jazz isn't welcome then I'm not going, same as any other function. Our ceremony in September is jam-packed with kids. Its actually half adults half kids PMSL! It's gonna be loud, crazy, and probably complete chaos, just the way we like it hehehehe
Usually with weddings it is children that are 2 things ive found
A. Walking children ie over 12 months - the couple may not want the running around and screaming etc
B. Seating - i have been to weddings with no kids and purely due to room and seating (needing high chairs etc) and the cost of catering as a lot of places charge adult prices.
I remember i said no kids at my wedding and had 10 come lol.... i guess it helps filters out those who have babysitters and those that didnt.
Most were babies though.
I took my DD at 14 months to a wedding. She and the brides daughter (9 months) were the only 2 there. They understood as it was a family wedding that all the family to babysit were at the wedding so i couldnt leave her at home.
She did spend the whole night running around though - not making noise but running around so i can understand it can be a bit distracting.
A bub i would say is no issue - i mean if your baby crys you step out side.. so it doesnt bother them anyhow
im invited to three weddings this year & my baby will only be approx 6 weeks for one of them & then 7 weeks for another....
Then for the other it will be approx 4 months.
in addition to the girls comments of ' if my baby isnt invited then im not going'
If i couldnt take my DD to that wedding that was fine, and i was fine with that - no hard feelings at all as i understand the stress of a large family (over 170 at my wedding and we are only talking imediate family/and first cousins/aunts etc)...
I would have stayed home and DH would have gone on his own out of respect for the bride and groom )
We had 220 people at our wedding and had one table of children - they were immediate family members. A couple of the younger children left early with grandparents etc.
We have a wedding in April which is child-free and it doesnt bother me. It is my closest couisn who I love dearly and they are also having a large wedding and due to additional space constraints they simply cant have everybody's kids so they are having none. Am not offended in the slightest and I certainly will not be boycotting it either. I think that guests have to realise that it is not a personal slight from the bride and groom usually it does come down to finances or space.
I have also chosen to go to weddings without children, when DD was 5 weeks old and 7 weeks old we had weddings to go to of close friends. I expressed and left her with my mum who was only 10-20 mins from the reception venue. Both times I took "time out" from the reception and went to the car to express - you could say I surprised a few smokers!
I dont think there is anything wrong with parents being honest and saying that sometimes it is nice to have an evening without their children. As much as I love my kids and they pretty much come everywhere with me sometimes it is ok to have grown up time too.
But in answer to the OP I would say that a baby becomes a kid for wedding purposes when they become mobile ie crawling as it is then that they are more likely to be for want of a different word "disruptive"
I'm not offended if DS isn't invited - I just can't attend. No babysitters. I also think it's a bit rude to ask DH to take 3 days off work, attend a weekday wedding 300-oddkm away from my home and NOT bring a 4-month-old with me. But I couldn't attend that one because DH couldn't get the time off, not because of DS (well, not soley because DS wasn't invited).
I can understand not wanting children around. I HATE having kids running riot, running under tables, making a mess, a noise during speeches... that's the 7-year-olds, mind, not the babies and toddlers!
I had over 150 family attend my wedding and that was with no young children - the young ie under teenage children of my parents' cousins were not invited. Then friends on top of that. It's not a bad thing to want an adult day, especially if you don't have children of your own. But you also have to see that travelling a long distance with a tiny baby just after a car crash and then the baby isn't invited and you have no babysitters you can trust... not going to happen.
Yeah i think "boycott" is a little strong! If she can't go then i can't go. That's all. Same as Ryn - no babysitters. It's not as if i think them saying "no kids" is an insult to me, i just don't get it and also can't really get round it, since i have a kid. If she was old enough to stay home alone it'd be no problem but i'm sure if she WAS then she'd be invited...
Ryn i can see what you mean, people without kids are a family too. I didn't mean to offend, i just meant that most families are continued (not made) by the married (or not) couple having children. I also can't see how it's a family event if one is going to exclude all the members of the family who are too small to "count". I mean, imagine at the other end of the scale having to tell granny she's just too plain old to come! But then i suppose "family" is such a loose term anyway - if i was going to limit numbers i'd start with the cousins i never see before axeing dearest friends' kids i see twice a week from my invite list!
I actually think it's really sad that lack of space for highchairs are given as an excuse for a venue not to have kids. You can buy safe boosters good for any child old enough to go in a normal highchair that fit on pretty much ANY dining chair, Starbucks over here have them in every shop. Venue's could very easily buy them. Just another symptom of a child-unfriendly society making life difficult for those of us who have or enjoy the company of kids.
I agree that a bit of grown-up time is nice, but i prefer it on my own terms. I would literally NEVER choose to go to a wedding or do the things one does as a wedding guest with my time off!
Aaaaah, to be in charge of your own guest list! That would mean spending money though.
I've never had a problem with seating taking DS to a wedding. High chairs are better than booster seats because you get more people around a table! But the last wedding, no food provided for DS, just a chair. I asked for a plate and we shared our dinners with the poor lad.
We had children at our wedding, it just was never an option for us to NOT invite children, they are family just like everyone else. Everyone had to travel, so we didn't expect people who were travelling over 1000k's to bring their kids and leave them in a motel with a babysitter.
We were invited to a wedding last year that had no children invited (supposedly) so we didn't go.
I loved having kids at our wedding. It's so special seeing little people dressed up and joining in on a special occasion, seeing them check out the dress, dancing to the music, enjoying rich choc mud cake and other desserts and going hypo, flowers,bubbles...
The wedding we were invited to without kids, also expected my SIL to not take her BF 4 month old!
I actually got to pick my reception venue, which did involve an argument. There was no way I was NOT having the castle for my reception though! Even if it did mean I hadn't met some of the guests before the day because they were my parents' friends.
I went to a wedding at 18 with kids - just two of them, two brothers, my second cousins - running riot. They were not invited to my wedding. My dad's cousin's children... my dad's cousins were only invited to the night do. It did put me off children at weddings and I understand people not wanting them there. But it's not the children I don't want - it's the crappy parents! (I don't like my dad's cousin's wife, well this particular one anyway.) It's not fair to just let the children run riot and run around under tables and annoy all the guests as well as the couple in question - if your children cannot behave at a wedding, don't take them. If DS was a problem, he'd be not going (and he can and does behave in Church - and doesn't get to hear the speeches). Assuming he was invited, we lived nearby and could get a babysitter!
Now there is an extra dilema... Ive just found out that my other friend (lets call her Sue) is leaving her 4mth old at her mums place for the night - even though he is normally BF - she will FF just for the day.
Now I feel ike Im going to get all the "why did you bring bub? Sue didnt bring hers and hes breastfed"
GREAT. Now Im going to get judged, and in the process of defending myself I'll probably offend Sue!!!
I dont think im going to be very popular here but seen as though you were asking for opinions I thought i'd give mine. We got married 6 weeks ago and made a very cut and dry rule that we were having no children at our wedding whatsoever - Breastfed or not, apart from my three neices who were flower girls and old enough to behave themselves.
Its not thats we dont like children (obviously if we are trying for a baby haha!) It was more that we have a lots of friends with children and that if you do it for one you have to do it for all of them. We only had one person kick up a stink about it and she made things rather difficult between my husband and I. My husbands cousin from over east was bringing her mother over to look after the baby while they attended the wedding (by their own choice not because we said they had to) so we could hardly say yes to the others.
Children were more than welcome at the ceremony but we said no children at the wedding. I practically got abused by one guest for not writing no children on the invite. It was addressed to her and her partner and it is considered rude to put no children on an invite. Not to mention that a few friends have had babies scream the whole way through the speeches, first dance, video etc.
I understand that its a very personal choice but our choice worked well for us.
how much space does a little person need!
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