Weddings with no kids...

[sneakysparkle]

Ok I dont really know what Im asking here, so sorry if it doesnt make much sense!

Im going to a wedding interstate next month, and am taking my 4mth old with me (leaving my 2yr old at home)
Ive since found out that its a no-child wedding. Now Ive spoken to the bride and Im ok to take her, but it got me thinking. At what age does a baby become a "child" for the no-child wedding? I mean, would you expect to be able to take a two week old but not a two month old?

If you have had a no-child wedding, what age was the cut off? Am I unreasonable thinking that I should be able to have my baby there? I understand those who prefer an adults only thing - and would be happy to leave my toddler home.

But there is NO WAY I would leave my baby with someone else for the entire wedding/reception - Im BFing and definately wouldnt give her a bottle just so I could go to a wedding (sorry to any who would - thats JMO)

What are your thoughts??

[feeb]

At our wedding we had a no child rule APART from BF babies in which we had 3!!! a 2 month old, 8 month old and 9 month old.

[mrsmac]

I would think breastfed babies would be OK.

[paradise lost]

My DD is going to be the only kid at a no-kid wedding in a few weeks! SHe's the flower girl and has her own invite though. I was quite edgy about it actually because i can't predict how she'll behave and the bride doesn't want kids because she knows a few whose parents tend to say "Oh look at him wrecking that!" but don't DO anything and she says she has faith in me that i won't be like that (!? lol).

I would expect to be able to take a BFing infant to a wedding, up to about a year or so, after which you could probably let them have other food and just a big feed when you get back, but TBH i'm not sure i'd go to a wedding i couldn't take my kid to. I really don't "get" the omission of children at an event which is supposed to mark the joining of families. As if kids weren't part of (or perhaps even the POINT of) the family. But each to their own i suppose - i've never actually been invited to a wedding at which DD wasn't welcome!

Bx

[Smoke Jaguar]

I have noticed, from anecdotes, that child-free weddings end up being child-free with exceptions. Those exceptions then make it a bit of an insult to the parents who put their kids in someone else's care to go, when the kids in attendance were just as 'child-like' as the ones left out!
I'm not down with child-free weddings, either - if a wedding isn't a family event, I can't figure out what is!
Plus, the age-cut off, upper and lower is too vague. My mum didn't take us to a family friend's wedding when I was about 12 or 13 and my sister was 10...not sure how we were going to impede on the day...and of course, my mum reported loads of kids there anyway, despite the invite specification
We weren't sure if DS was invited to my cousin's wedding, but figured he was cos they knew we were bringing him all the way from Oz (wedding in Ireland)! Turns out he got gastro and gave it to me that night, so he was no problem with exuberance Breastfed 19 month old, who would have ordinarily been tearing around the hotel, who was coming regardless of no-child policy (wedding was in her fiance's county, where I have absolutely no family and didn't want to leave DS with perfect strangers!).

I think that if guests want to have a child-free time, they'll organise child-free themselves. If they would rather have kids there, it's not like the bride has to hold onto them and get her dress ruined. Personally, I think inclusion of kids makes a wedding more fun and joy-filled

[alioops]

For us it was to do with numbers. I am from a very large extended family and we had a rather small budget when it comes to weddings. The only children we had were relatives and all of our friends were understanding of that, because of the way we explained the reasons why we couldn't have friend's kids there. We only had about 30 friends and all the rest were family. We had 120 people at the reception. Kids were welcome at the ceremony, as we didn't need a number limit for the ceremony.

[Rivlas]

I would definitely take your DD to the wedding seeing its interstate. There is no way you would survive all that time without feeding.
Hoobley - Have someone you trust on call in case your DD needs to be taken home and put to bed. Its going to be a big day for her as well as for you.
We have a wedding photo of me holding my niece and when she was married she is holding my GS. So it can have special memories having babies at weddings

[Pandora]

At our wedding we had a no child rule APART from BF babies in which we had 3!!! a 2 month old, 8 month old and 9 month old.

Ours was the same. one couple still brought their 5 year old anyway. I didnt mind so much ours was purely becuase of nubers..we had 100 people coming just with family over 18. It would have been easily doubled if all the kids had come as well.

[Turkish Delight]

I'm going to be Matron of Honour in a few months at a childless wedding. I'll be leaving DS with one family (who aren't invited) as he is very comfortable around them and leaving DD with another family friend which she absolutely adores. I've been told that my kids can come along but feel that i won't be able to attend to them on the big day and at the reception. I've told mum and dad that they'll probably need to leave early and pick up DD as she'll find sleeping in a different house pretty hard. It will also ease my mind, knowing that she's at mum's place during the night.
It's great having a childless wedding, but when you have kids yourself it's hard finding a suitable minder. I think bf bubs are ok to attend, but no toddlers running around.

[mybabylove]

we didnt have any children at our wedding either except for three babies under 6 months of age. The reason for this was mainly a space factor

[Indadhanu]

I think bfing bubs would be ok and babies under 6 months... I think a lot of the time its the 'disruption' factor, some people want everything to be 'perfect', kids generally create chaos LOL. Sometimes its space too though how much space does a little person need!

I wouldn't go to a kid-free wedding, if Jazz isn't welcome then I'm not going, same as any other function. Our ceremony in September is jam-packed with kids. Its actually half adults half kids PMSL! It's gonna be loud, crazy, and probably complete chaos, just the way we like it hehehehe

[briggsy's girl]

i dont' have an issue with weddings that exclude children due to finances/numbers if that is explained at the time. my cousin had a very formal wedding,no kids - the venue was too small, the cost too large. his brother had a less formal wedding, but again, due to the venue, not enough room for kids.

we chose our venue to make sure it accommodated for children - for one, we had three kidlet attendants. for the other, we have family from all over the place, and i didn't want any of them to feel they couldnt' bring their children. kids were invited by name on some invites, by conversation with others. one friend has 10 children - they bought the youngest 4. i think in total we had about 15 kids there - they had a ball. but our wedding was very informal and it worked for us

i don't think excluding BF babies is appropriate, and if you're travelling ANYWHERE away from home, your kids should be included - but it really is a tough call

[Jahzara]

Our wedding ceremony was for one and all but our reception was child free.

It wasn't really an issue cause there weren't any babies - only older children that were able to be babysat by others.

It was nice for the adults to not have to worry for the evening.

Each to their own !

[smiles4u]

My SIL's Wedding was a no-kid Wedding ... except for my one child - my DD whom at the time was 8mths old (though no longer BF'd) ... My SIL never told us it was a no-kid Wedding until WE were at the Wedding ... I was wondering why DP & i & our DD were getting a few stares ... I think the SIL saw the looks we were getting & she explained our DD was her only niece (no nephews) & she wanted her there ... To be honest i think she knew we would have had no one look after her for the day & so therefore let us bring her

I'm all for no-kid Weddings BUT the engaged couple have to realise & be prepared there could be some inability replies because of it

[Snacks]

Oh dear, Sneaky, that's tricky about Sue. Perhaps the angle you could take with anyone who questions (and TBH I doubt anyone will!) is that your DD won't take anything but boob. It was true for my bf baby and for many others (even if you haven't tried, you have no idea, so you can't leave her to perhaps be very hungry).
We had a kid-free wedding too, except for our nieces. I know we offended loads of people - they did see it as a massive inconvenience (because our wedding was an hour away from Sydney up in the Blue Mountains) but the venue just wasn't big enough or suitable for children. There were heaps of tables squished into a small space and some quite steep stairs.
I was pretty young and more clueless than most people when we got married, so for the most part I didn't take other peoples' feelings into account. If I were older, I would possibly have suggested we hold the reception somewhere more child-friendly, given we were asking people to travel so far from home. Babies would've been welcome - I think it is only when they start to toddle and are in danger of hurting themselves and the things around them (potentially very expensive decorations!) that people suggest kids stay at home.

[Kazbah]

We actually didn't put kids on the invite list mainly because there were 2 kids we didn't want there. But if anyone asked, kids were welcome! (strangely, the parents of the 2 kids didn't ask ... )

Our reception place was great, I had my MG there and that meant 4 9mth babies + Pip + an 18mth old - they sourced highchairs for all of them!!!

To be honest, although Pip was invited to a wedding I chose not to take him, so I could enjoy my friends' special day without worry.

If you've asked your friend, and she's cool with it - then it's great. Good on her, and good on you to ask instead of getting grumpy ...

[Amaunet]

We had stacks of kids at our wedding (2-14yrs) - about 30 - 3 kids tables - close to the door! BUT we were at a country RSL and they put out "kids food" sausage rolls, party pies, sandwiches, cherry tomatoes etc - all finger foody stuff and only charged $9-10 per kid. actually the adult meals were only $25 for two courses!

However, a friend had her wedding at a place where anyone who needed a seat and food was charged at the adult rate $90-100 per person - there was no way they could afford this. To invite some kids they would have to not invite some adult friends and family. So in this case - BF bubbas or little people who can stay on laps were ok - she personally explained this to anyone with kids - and they seemed to understand. Only her neice (only young relo) attended and the two flower girls. I donlt think she was being unreasonable under the circumstances.

[helle]

We're currently organising our wedding and I'm having a little bit of an issue with a "No Kid" Situation. Mainly though, involving my cousins. And for completely different reasons) I'll tell you why!
They range from 7 to 13, which is fine. There are 7 of them between 2 of my aunties and uncles (on dads side) if that makes sense.
My Aunties and Uncles have a nasty habbit of pulling out of things at the last minute. So, I don't want to invite them, pay the caterers and then have 11 people pull out last minute that I'm going to have to fork out to feed anyway, even though they're not there. I would rather just invite my Aunties/Uncles and if they pull out it's only 4 people to deal with.
BUT! On the other hand, on my mums side there are 2 of my cousins that I would then have to treat the same, iykwim, which I know will cause a bit of a drama.
Ugh, I think my guest list is going to cause me my wedding day headache ^^;