Why did you get married??

[Harriet]

I think marriage is a big step but so is having children. I have a few unmarried friends who have children with their partners and no intention of ever getting married.. Some are very much in love with each other and others you wonder why they are even together..

But that is going off topic lol.

Noooo aussienic, not off topic at all, its exactly what I'm trying to get my head around!
DP and I have been together for over seven years, have lived together for four years and bought a house together 2.5 years ago. And we'll be parents this year.... he would love to be married to me, but I feel like I just don't 'get' it.

[briggsy's girl]

DH asked - he wanted to be married because his parents had a long and happy marriage. i wasn't sure - my folks relationship is anything but healthy so i was a bit jaded about the idea. we talked about it and realised we wanted to be together for life, so he proposed to me the night before he met my (ill) grandmother. We got married only a year after we got together because he wanted for my nan to be there to see her last grandchild married. Unfortunately, she was too ill to be there, and her sight had failed so she didn't get to see photos - but she was knew we were married and we were happy. She died four days before our first wedding anniversary (2 years to the day after DH and I got together)

Being married was never going to be crucial to us being happy - but it was a chance to celebrate our relationship with our friends after a year of crap. changing my name from my fathers name (a man i detest) to the name of a man i love and respect was a huge thing for me. and now that we have DD, sharing a family name makes me a much happier person

[Joeve]

We got married after being together for more than 10 years, it was never that important as we knew we loved each other etc. After we got engaged people kept telling us stories of people they knew that seperated after they got married after so long - people are just sooooo fullof good advice and stories aren't they?

We actually did it because we felt like we wanted to 'offically' become married - kind of felt like we were anyway IYKWIM and because both of our dads had some health issues so we wanted to do it while our whole family was around.

Has it changed things? Not so much but I do feel that I try harder to be a better wife than I ever did at being a better girlfriend.

As soon as we jumped in the limo at the end of the night of our wedding we were just bursting with happiness and we don't regret doing it when we did.

[Amity]

I got married to pi$$ off my Mum. Because I knew what I was doing and I was right.

I was oh so wrong.

Always listen to your Mum. I've been single for nearly 5 years now!

[Aries]

We got married because it was something we both believed in. We started for a baby 6 years ago and got engaged around the same time. Whichever came first suited us just fine. We had a beautiful day together and wouldnt wish for anything to be different. I love being married and my hubby is proud to call me his wife. To expand our little family now would just top it off

[starangelk]

We got married because we wanted to. Why did we want to? Well, we wanted to cement our relationship. But for me, the cement was the engagement. For me, getting engaged was more important than being married. Engagement is the intention to spend the rest of your lives together, the wedding is just the piece of paper to prove it. We loved standing in front of our family and friends and having them witness our promises to each other. How did our relationship change? It didn't change at all. The only thing that changed for us was the rings we wore on our fingers and my last name. I am a massive fan of marriage

[Astrid]

I wanted to get married as I felt, for me, that I needed that extra commitment. DH said he was always committed to me and know that should have been enough, but I needed that extra step. We only had move in together due to moving interstate, it would have been silly to try and set-up two homes. So we weren't living together due us wanting to be defacto (hope that makes sense). It is very easy to just move in with someone, which I had done in the past and same with friends. We were not planning on children, so having children played no part in wanting to be married.

Also a wedding, even if simple is something nice to do. I was bagged for having a wedding, should have just eloped, but I thought it was nicer to get family and friends together for a celebration rather than for a funeral, which seems to be the only other time family makes an effort.

[Frantelle]

From the first day I met my DH I wanted to be his wife I love being his wife and as someone said we are the ***** family. I did not necessarily want the wedding (we both hated organising it) but we wanted to be together for ever in the eyes of god, the law and our family.

I was actually quiet surprised about how important is was to me. I honestly think it has made us stronger.

But hey thats me and each to their own

[~Kim~]

I have never had any visions of getting married nor pre planned a wedding.
I do/did believe in the institution of marriage. My parents have one of the most solid marriages I have come across so that lays a great foundation of belief.
When I got with DH, I just wanted to marry him.
Actually I wanted to scream from the rooftops that he was the person I wanted to grow old with. I wanted to stand and declare that before my friends and family and before God. And have a great party to celebrate that.

Initially it didn't change our relationship. Children did that more, but as you grow together, comfort and contentness I think add to it's value.

[aussienic]

a lot of people think it is harder to walk away (if things go wrong) once marriage is there. but in your case you have a house and a child together so it is just as hard. Some people think oh its just a piece of paper but it is also a public promise of what you want for each other and how you feel about each other.. Does that make sense?

Dh and i were just talking about this last month (our 12th wedding anniversary) We both agree our getting together date means more then our wedding date but that doesn't mean we don't celebrate our wedding date. We do. I also said I wonder if we would have ever gotten married if there wasn't a baby on the way. Dh said we would have but maybe not when we did. He was planning to propose on Xmas day but ending up asking me in November when I found out Ds was on the way.. but anyways.

What does marriage mean to you? I am not very good with words. I don't think I could really put into words what marriage means to me but I guess from a public point (ie family and friends) it is important. it is showing them I have the love and commitment to him and to our children.. I hope that makes sense. I am also not a fan of a huge wedding as I don't see the point. I would have been happy just to go down to the court house and get married lol but Dh wanted the whole family wedding thing (he has a large and very loving family) We had a lovely simple (and cheap) wedding.

i should add we were together for nearly 4 years before we got married. Moved towns together and bought a house.. but i knew he was the one for me as soon as I laid eyes on him. I can't explain that part it was just meant to be

[Cherished]

We got married for luuuuv dh proposed 2 weeks after meeting and it was very romantic! it's our 5 year anniversary in May and we've never looked back.

[Starlite]

DP and I are not married. We have been together for 6 years, 4 months and two days, and met afew months before that. I would have liked to do things the 'proper' way, he thinks marriage is silly. 'Whats a piece of paper going to prove?'. It sends me crazy. He asks me why i want it, and I feel that 'because I bloody well want it', should be a sufficient answer. There's heaps of reasons why I want it, some of which I can't really describe. For me, it's an urge, similar to the one you get when you know you really want a baby. I just want it

[LionsandBears]

I never believed in marriage or understood why people bothered. My parent's marriage was a disaster so not a very good example. I also started to believe it was all part of a patriarchal conspiracy to enslave women and formalise prostitution. It wasn't until my mum married my stepdad that I had an aha momrnt and realised it was about love and respect and honouring the other person.

I had a defacto relationship for a while that I kept thinking would end in marriage despite my mum's terror of me being with someone she thought was abusive ( what do mum's know....in my case she was so right). There were a number of issues i was too scared to address but i figured they'd be fixed when we got married. It wasnt until I had another aha moment that I realised you marry a person as they are and love and accept them for it. If you want someone to change, dont marry them. If you need someone to change that much, they're the wrong person.

Later, after taking a few years to grow up, I met my now DH. I didnt see the point in living with someone unless their was an acknowledged commitment. For me there was no point in shacking up and having kids if we weren't in it for the long run. This isnt a criticism of others, but from a practical and emotional point of view, I dont understand buying property and commiting to a 20+ year mortgage with someone unless there's a deeper commitment there. It's one thing to make a business decision but I'm too wary of sexually transmitted debt to make investment decisions with a bf.

Anyway, we had a chat and agreed we both wanted marriage and kids. He proposed 9 months later, we moved in together a month later and got married a year after that. I cant say anything's really changed except the commitment feels deeper. I would probably make more of an effort for my DH than I would for any BF. But then, he's the love of my life and he treats me like a queen. He's more than worth it.

[widdly]

We got married cause we had started trying for a baby and I wanted to have the same surname as my children. I LOVED being a wife and being married.

As it turns out, I am now divorced and have changed back to my maiden name, so having the same surname as my DS wasn't that important after all LOL

[beckoes]

i moved over from the uk and i wanted to wait as i didnt want to feel like i was getting married to get the visa. made getting the visa alot harder but im glad we didnt rush into it.
we had DD1, werent really in a financial possition to get married then, but it didnt really bother us that we werent married, we knew we would be soon enough.
We were very much in love and felt it was the next step. wanted to be husband and wife. i dont think it changed anything but we had our second baby 6 months later and thats changed a few things!
i loved our wedding, it was the best day ever.