Thoughts about returning to work

[Astrid]

I found the same thing about returning to work. I did want to for the extra money and some sanity, but also I was getting to the point of not being able to find a decent job if I left it any longer. I work the accounting/payroll area and it does change as legislation does. Along with software changes etc. I was looking at a real drop in pay and along with job happiness if I delayed any longer (lower paid jobs tend be all stress and no satisfaction). Also I looked a lot forward, as in retirement. There is a lot of lost Super in not working.

I have had to suck up putting DD2 into full-time care, which is a downside. I am able to work school hours, so it atleast keeps the days shorter, but I need to work 4-5 days per week. She is tired from it and I am tired, but it is worth it overall

[Amaunet]

I'm a teacher and before I had my beautiful boys I was very ambitious, was relieving in higher duties roles and actively seeking promotion. I loved the challenges, the stress, being part of the executive team in my school. I could never see that changing and thought I'd be looking forward to resuming these challenges when my maternity leave was finished... How wrong I was. I went back 5 days per fortnight in 2010 in an executive role and hated every minute I was away from my baby who was just 7 months I was miserable, anxious and resentful (also suffering from undiagnosed coeliac disease which didn't do me any favors either) I stuck with it, fell pregnant, miscarried and then struggled to reconceive. I made the decisions to go back to the classroom role 3 days per week in 2011 and it was the best decision I ever made! I fell pregnant in April and finished halfway through term 4 and actually enjoyed being back at work. I felt like I had some balance back in my life and actually rediscovered my love for the classroom. I'm now on 12 months leave and think (hope) I'll be ready to go back in 2013.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, going back to the RIGHT job makes it ok, but it needs to balance with your new family life. I couldn't maintain my old job life and didn't want to really either.

[Heaven]

You sound like you don't really want to go back but you think you 'should'.

You don't owe it to anyone to work just because you've got a degree. Do what is right for you.

For me, I figure, I only get this time with my children once. I can't go back and live it again. This is it and I want to be a part of it. This is more important to me than any job I could ever have. This makes me happy and we have decided to prioritise me being at home, even if it means we have to sacrifice having more money.

I have a masters degree and I am a SAHM

[Mum2SweetCs]

Before DD1, i was career driven. Promoted to a Senior role pretty early on. I thought 4 months of Mat leave was fine. When I had DD1 i was soo regretting that decision.

Felt very depressed leaving a baby who didnt even get a chance to bond with her mum. I tried to extend it to a year but my boss had already placed me in some projects so I negotiated working only 2 days and those 2 days from home so i can still see bub everyday.

Then I worked from home 2 days a week and went back full time with 3 days in the office.

Then when DD was around 3 changed jobs and worked full time.

For DD2, I will be trying to get a part time role but realistically i am really pushing it as my role is not really part time and as the others have said I really do need to continue working as I am in IT and technology becomes redundant quite fast.

It was damn hard to leave my DD, but i think the slow transition to full time worked really helped and more importantly knowing that when I am at work she is in good hands (her Grandmother looks after her)

All the best hun

[Tuesday's Child]

Thanks so much for all your replies. I'll come back with a proper post once I sort through my thoughts some more. You've all given me a lot to think about.

[Tuesday's Child]

I also personally feel that daycare is not an option for me, and while my parents were very happy to look after the girls for for those two days, I felt guilty about the extra pressure on them.

See, daycare is the only option for me. Both my parents are deceased and DH's family are 4 hours away. It also means that there is no back up if I have a sick child and I feel torn between caring for my sick daughter and being a good/useful/valuable employee.

And don't feel too guilty about the extra pressure on your parents. Let them and your parents enjoy all that time they get to spend together

Saying goodbye to your career now might mean saying goodbye to it forever. You might think that's fine for now but will you always be okay with it?

Thank you n2l. I hadn't really given that much thought. I'm terrible at making long term plans.

My other point is quite blunt - both DH and I have experiences of parents either passing away unexpectedly or never working again after illness. Me working takes the pressure off DH and quite simply means that should the need arise I have the ability to provide for my kids. I already feel the pressures on my sick leave etc that having kids has had but at least I have those entitlements to call on.
Good luck with your decision making - try to plan for 2, 5, 7 years down the track and see how you can try to acheive all you want to. If you can buy more time to consider your options I would tend towards that as well. You may be surprised where you end up!!! xxx

Thank you Mak. You know, despite losing both of my own parents before I was 28, I hadn't actually considered what I would do without DH.

If your qualification is one that will become obsolete if you're not using it, is it possible to get a part time position that keeps you in the loop, allows you to be at home 2-3 days a week, and then build up later when your kids are at school?

I'm a statistician and we are always in demand. It is a field where practice lags a long way behind theory, but the software changes almost every year.

Also I looked a lot forward, as in retirement. There is a lot of lost Super in not working.

Good point. My boss insists on 17% super. I hate to think what would happen to the Super I have if I left it just sitting there while not contributing.

You sound like you don't really want to go back but you think you 'should'.

So you picked up on that, huh?

I'm not sure why, but returning to work, in my mind, has always been a question of financial necessity. Thank you to everyone here who has pointed out other aspects to consider. My job is really a very good one. It's flexible, supportive, pro- work/life balance and the benefits are generous. My current boss will be retiring at the end of the year and the uncertainty of returning with a new boss is another factor in my reluctance to go back. But I suppose, I won't know what my new boss is like unless I do go back. I actually feel a lot more comfortable with the idea of working now that I've realised there are so many more reasons to do it other than earning money. (Why is it the SAHM vs working mum debate seems to be reduced to financial reasons?) Of course, we are moving in a couple of weeks, so it could just be that my mind has been focused on that lately

[RhiChiChi]

Creche doesn't have to be the only child care option - there is family day care to consider and the likes.... (we use creche, just so you know)