Lila woke up again at 5am despite the grobag and cot bumpers to keep out the drafts. Sigh. When I was pg I thought I'd co-sleep and so far it hasn't worked out (mostly cause DH is still a smoker, but that's another issue) but maybe her waking up and needing to come back to bed with us is her way of asserting what she needs. I'm not upset about it anymore. Did try to re-settle her in her own bed last night but nothing doing. Oh well. I just don't want a toddler in my bed, you know? That's me being selfish. Night time is when I don't have to be a mummy anymore and I get my own cuddles.
First babies are like that. I was exactly the same. I didn't co sleep with DD until she was two - exactly the time I thought I'd be regretting it had I started! but that's when i first read the Continuum Concept and i was in guilty tears for weeks and brought her to bed. honestly, if you read that, it will change your life. i put her in a toddler bed beside us, so i had as much space as i always did (i'm not a good cosleeper) and it was great cos after babyhood comes potty training - it's so much better with them right there. also, like my mum says, "parenting doesn't stop at night just cos you'd like it to, imagine if all those nights i held you, all those nights you felt welcome in my bed - what if i didn't allow that? How might that have changed you as a person?" good perspective for me. She even sat with me for hours in the wee hours when I was a teen and sick and scared until i fell asleep. She STILL would! I want my kids to look back on their childhood the way I look back on mine, because of my selfless mother. i saw a cartoon (trying to find it online) of a little boy standing at the foot of his parents bed with a teddy saying, "it's okay for you, you got someone to sleep with!"

I beg DH to look after Lila for a few hours sometimes but he acts like he's doing me such a favor and after three hours or so comes to find me because he's so exhausted. Bah. Try doing it 24-7 for months on end, right?
Totally.

Meg, I have to rock Ci, but I still call it self settling cos he goes in sleepy, not asleep. Self settling in babies is a joke though. most parents learn the hard way that Spock and those other idiots were, well... idiots, and the reality is: we want them to self settle/soothe (most convenient), but they don't. Only in our culture do we force babies beyond their readiness and expect independence before they are even a child. so take heart - your baby is totally normal, and you are honoring her inbuilt instinct for mama comfort.

Ci's skin is a little better. he's sleeping better, much better. i only have to resettle him once a nap now, and sometimes not at all. night sleeping is getting better with his skin, too.

Nettie, you made me hungry!