Babies Born April 2008 #3

[Zennie]

he stayed with our friends last night(grapevine) who have a 1 yr old instead of his ****wit mate so was comforted knowing that hes talking to someone whos been there and working through it apposed to those looking through the window and have no clue. Shavon and chris seem to think they knocked some sense into him but i dont know whether that means he realising the errors of his ways and wants to talk or if he will just dwell some more. i know i am up and down but atm i feel empowered on my own. My mum had Russell last night for a few hours and my close mates just rallied round and help pick me up and we slept better for it . i talked and cryed and theorised and laughed. though ifeel empowered now , i know i will feel defeated later if it all goes down the gurgler

[Fire]

Kira, I just saw your post. *hug* I wish I had some words of wisdom but some men really take a lot of adjusting. Or should I say, they need a good kick in the freakin' pants. Hope you don't mind me saying so but your DH is being unreasonable. You are a strong woman, remember that, and he should be made aware of the gifts he has. The first year is a write off, really, even though it gets easier, parents just glue together to survive it. It really challenges any relationship's metal, so to make it through, he has got to stop worrying about his mates altogether and focus on what he has created with you, your life, your son, your relationship, you. Don't start thinking PND though, because it doesnt' have to go that way. Feeling low because of stress isn't depression, remember that. That is simply a normal reaction to stress. Depression is feeling seriously low and out of control for NO apparent reason. You have plenty of reason.

Blessings to you, and I hope you all find your way soon.

[bellelass]

wow how do you all find time to post? everysecond of my free time goes to sleep or TRYING not to drown under th onslaught of filthy washing and dust and dishes. i wish i could ignore it but dirty house bothers me more than sleep deprivation...

Kira- It can be hard, especially when they (we do too!) want to feel young and like they still have lives. My DH is a little bit the same way.. He doesn't get up with Lila in the middle of the night (rightly so, he's got uni) and he still has something of a social life and doesnt understand why I get upset when he goes out. Granted, he goes out fora few hours early in the evening usually, but still. He gets to be a grown-up. All I can recommend is talking to him... ?

Mgm- I didn't have a caesar, but this baby is so hard on my back. I try to make sure I'm using good posture 100% of the time but its still so wearing. No idea what to do about it besides a little cat-cow-cobra yoga, I'm just hanging in there in the hopes it all gets better.

Janine- I feel the same way about babies, though my heart does melt a little lately when she looks deep into my eyes and gives me a big gummy grin. And she's starting to make little pre-talking sorting-things-out vowel sounds. Just a bit but its a start.

we're still fighting thrush here, have had 2 rounds of nilstat drops with little change. so i'm using my trusty old hand pump still, and being a nazi about sterilizing everything that comes near her mouth. it's getting old, i'd rather just be able to put her to breast but she gives my nipples thrush and its excruciating. if it doesn't clear up i guess its back to the dr.

Despite that, she's getting so big. And I finally managed to get her into the sling today, she liked it and fell asleep while I did some chores. Fantastic. Then DH finally got up and I handed her over so I could get some sleep. I'd been letting her fall asleep on my chest (after burping) and then transferring her to the bed or her bassinet (yes I caved and got one) on her back.she doesnt really sleep well like that. we visited dh's parents a few weekends ago and Mil had Lila sleeping on her tummy. She was so much happier and better settled. MIL put her kids on their tummies and they all managed to make it to adulthood, so I've been letting her tummy sleep some lately.

Sleep... Ah. I get kind of jealous of DH's sleep, esp when I haven't had much and get stroppy about it. Sometimes it just feels like I have to do everything, which is crazy because he helps out so much and cleans house and cooks sometimes and right now is sleeping under Lila while i have a break.

As for body... I'm getting really thin, like ugly thin despite eating well. I eat good food and heaps of it. You wouldn't be able to tell from looking that I had a baby, which sounds like a good thing but it kind of freaks me out. Not a mark on me. Its just bizarre. Here I was all ready to sacrifice my body on the holy altar of motherhood and nothing. (tongue in cheek a little there)

I'm well mentally really upbeat to be honest and I love my little Lila-bear. Its finally happened, the love thing. I think it has something to do with the way she looks round for me and smiles when I kiss her tummy. Something like that...

Anyone who is planning to use cloth nappies still in sposies? I'm working on making the transition to old fashioned towelling and covers, I just haven't completed it. Kind of feel bad, I'd pictured myself cloth diapering, breastfeeding and babywearing and it hasn't worked out like that at all yet. Oh well, my baby is fat and happy.

[BabyWrangler]

I was planning on cloth nappies myself, I even have some fitted ones for DH to use.
We were given some sposies by friends before BJ was born so we used them up, then I switched to towelling ones, only to find that no matter how I folded them, the were too big for him, AND he was weeing through them within an hour!
So we went for more sposies and we are still in them.

Well, after our trip to the Dr, Benjamin is on Zantac for his reflux so we'll see how that goes, fingers crossed...
And on a brighter, wonderful, relieving note....I've been struggling with the decision about going back to work (kindergarten teaching), I am scheduled to go back 2 days a week for term 4, and full time next year....its been really killing me, on the one hand, I LOVE my work and all the staff, but on the other hand, I really wanted to stay home with Benjamin.
After our shocker night last night, when I got up every 15 minutes for Benjamin, and then stayed in the spare room next to his so as not to wake DH every time I came to bed, then stayed in the spare room for his bottle this morning.
DH has decided that (because he is in a highly important role at work) he needs me to be able to do that whenever it needs to be done (which would be hard the nights before I would have to go to work), Im NOT going back to work....
I am officially resigning tomorrow....how sad, but how exciting!!!

[Sequoia]

Oh well, my baby is fat and happy.

God, how I wish I could say this. Nothing against you Steph BTW.

Baxter is 6 weeks old today and is barely 400gms above his birth weight.

He had his paed appt yesterday and we are booked in for a renal and bladder ultrasound at Murdoch next Thursday, with a follow up paed appt the Thursday after that.

I'm to keep feeding him as per normal, with an extra bottle of EBM after his last feed at night time. If this doesn't give him a projected weight gain on Friday of 200gms per week, we are to give him a bottle of formula.

Two things that upset me:

- why isn't he putting on weight? Why is he still unwell?
- the decision to maybe put him on to formula is not made by me, but I know he needs to be fatter and my milk alone isn't doing that.

Before he started on the AB, he had a weight gain of 170gms in 8 days, which was great! Then the diarrhea started from the AB and his weight gain was only 105gms in 7 days. Plus he got a nappy rash that I've only just managed to clear up.

Poor little mite, he is so alert and settled otherwise and it just breaks my heart to see him not thriving. ETA - actually he is just been screaming his heart out because I've missed his tired signs and he is exhausted.

Plus, I had GP and OB appt yesterday. My stiches look fine, and I've lost 10kgs, only 5 to go until I get back to pre-preg weight, but that will go on the backburner until Baxter's issues are sorted. I have a tear around my bottom, hence the bleeding when I go to the toilet and I had a flu jab. AND! If that wasn't enough, I'm back to pumping 3 times a day for his EBM at night. So between Baxter, my boobs, my bottom and sore arm, I'm feeling very down right now.

Sorry for no personals, but to Zennie.

SG
xo

[alittlegrubi]

Shoegal try not to stress about Baxters weight gain. I can't say anything about the illness, but my BIL's Sister's son, Christian, is now 2 and is still in size 0 to 1 clothing, some kids are just small. The OBs and Drs get concerned when they are not on their magical charts, but not all babies fit nicely into the charts. There isn't anything wrong with Christian, he's just small and was born around 6lb, so not significantly underweight.

[Beatrix]

Bellas- Mj is a fully cloth baby and has been since we run out of tha nappies that were gicen to us. But we use MCN- my favs atm are bumg and happy heiney.

Shoe- sorry to her bax is still have probs with his weight gain. I hope they can find siome anserws for you.

[alittlegrubi]

Fire just wanted to say the more I look into AP the more I realise that it is about me as much as it is about the baby. Like so many have said - wish I'd known these things with my first. It is very hard to retrain yourself too and to accept the cries. I'm glad I wasn't ever able to do the controlled crying thing. I may not have done everything right, but a lot was on the right track, now to undo the damage I've done.

[BabyWrangler]

Aahhh back to the BJ I remember from days of old!
We had a MUCH better night last night, maybe because of the stuff we've implemented, maybe because he was tired from the night before, I'm not sure, but I'm happy!

Bj's night went like this:
7pm bottle (EBM with food thickener), Zantac and Lactulose
8pm wrapped and into bed
8:30pm asleep after only losing dummy 3 times (this used to happen every 2 mins or so!)
11:30pm awake, dummy returned
1:00am Bottle (EBM and food thickener), Zantac
1:30am Settled self back to sleep (feeding and settling used to take an hour an a half each night)
5:00am Grunting but still sleeping (I assume he was pooing)
6:30am Bottle (EBM and food thickener)

And now, at 7:15 we are about to get ready to have another snooze.

All in all, a fantastic night...I slept half in the main bedroom with DH, and the last part (the grunty bit) in the spare room (the grunting trips the monitor slightly, and we just get patches of static that wake us up, didn't wanna wake DH).

Hope you all have a great day (I'm feeling awfully chipper today!!) am bound to be back later!

[Tarnee]

Babywrangler - congrats on your fantastic night! It must be such a relief. for more of the same. Also, great news about not having to go back to work!! My DH has decided the same. He wants us to have another baby quite quickly and now that he has seen how much work one is, he is not so hung up on me going back to work. My plan for next year (when I am hoping to be pregnant again) is just to do relief teaching 1 or 2 days a week (if I feel like it) - it is such good money, no stress and will give me a chance to feel a bit human again. My sister is able to look after DD whenever I need so there won't be any need to put her into childcare.

Shoegal - - sorry to hear that you are having a tough time. In regards to having to go on the formula - surely, the Drs will give you 'an extension' given that Baxter has been on AB and had diarreha (so long as it has cleared up now) and if after that time he still hasn't put on enough weight then maybe you would have made the decision to introduce a formula feed anyway?? and won't feel so disempowered about the whole thing. It is great that he is so settled - obviously means that he is not 'starving' - so you are still doing a great job!! ALSO - why do you have to get him gaining 200grms per week when the rest of us have been told 150grms (or in my friends case 100grms per week)?? Seems a bit unrealistic for a baby that is not well??

Zennie - hope your DP wakes up to himself soon. Keep your chin up and just focus on you and your beautiful baby who loves you enormously.

Me? Nothing much to report. Charlotte now weighs nearly 1kg more than her birth weight (5 weeks old). She has become a little chubba bubba!! And it looks like I might have an extra box of newborn disposable nappies that she won't fit! She is sleeping well and feeding well - but she often over-eats and spends the next 2 hours spilling it out again (not actual vomits). Anyway, my MIL arrives from NZ on Sunday, so my next few days will be spent doing housework - great!!

Went to mums and bubs movie yesterday - it was great! Gave me a chance to feel human again.

Take care all.

[Fire]

Shoe, what Grubi said, and get to a bfing expert, pronto! Formula is not a better option, and they should be ashamed of themselves for suggesting it. Are THEY the ones gonna be there if he gets ecsema in the middle of the night? Call the ABA, you really seem to want to feed him yourself so you CAN make that happen. Everyone has problems bfing, most of us very significant problems, each our own unique ones but they are all valid and challenging and can make us feel hopeless and like quitting. One word to back those feelings up from a friend, relative or even worse - a medico - and we DO quit. Yet women the world over have to feed and therefore manage to somehow. We can to. The ABA deal with low weight gain all the time, it is their main support problem, they'll be able to help you without threatening ABM on yer a$$.

Eek, gotta run, sorr, back soon

[bellelass]

SG- you're a good mother, working so hard to do what's right for bax, its not easy expressing milk and feeling overtired and sore and awful. Your milk is just what he needs, I agree with everyone else who said get thee to a bfing expert. If you want to keep going with the bfing, then do. hope it gets sorted...

god, slings are magic. this is day 2. Lila slept so well last night, could be coincidence... And she's in it now, I can't believe how much i'm getting done.. wow... I'm still not too clever about putting it on, but I guess that will sort itself out with time... I might even get some baking done today, would be the first time since I was in labor with her...

[mgm]

steph what kind of sling are you using? i've just today put dd in a wrap (bought a long piece of cloth, no-sew, so nothing fancy) and it's fantastic to wear. don't think i'll be doing any baking though! exhausted myself yesterday making pasties to freeze for DS who is incredibly fussy about eating vegies - kind of annoying since we're vegetarian...

shoegal hugs to you, and good luck for baxter's tests.

baby crying, gotta go...

[Fire]

mgm, I bought a piece of stretchy cloth last week and DS seems to like it better than the HaB. I bought it for back carries but have used it for front sometimes. He's in it now. Actually, since someone asked, that's how I can get online, I settle him in the sling on the fitball in front of the computer. I can read that way at least and bounce if he gets unsettled.

Had a motivating night last night. Ci slept from 7pm to 7am, one feed at 10.30 and one at 3am. Woot! Actually, he is bringing in more milk for a growth spurt so I was incredibly engorged by 9pm and by 10pm I couldn't take it anymore and had to wake him! Can you believe that, how unfair is that? They finally do a long stretch and you have to wake them cos yer boobs act up. DH was dealing with a two hour witching spell from 7pm to 9pm for a while there, so he was spared that. I don't mind how many feeds he does in that 12 hour stint, as long as the between times are SLEEP! But I think the growth spurt is partly responsible for his long sleep stint, so we'll see if it's still like this in a day or so. Wowzers those engorged boobs really hurt, eh? Not devastatingly so, but enough to keep you awake until the next feed.

Maybe it was the good night, but I'm feeling a little more positive today. I'm feeling on top of things. A routine has shown itself, a routine of sorts anyway, and I feel I know what I'm doing, and less like I'm being blindly driven around life by a newborn.

[Beatrix]

Wow Janine that great with the night. i normally dont have any probs with mj going back to sleep after her feeds at night. Havent had engorged boobs yet. i dont ever seem to get hard but we have great weight gain and she is well content going 4hrly between feeds.

well we had her needles today, she did well and is fast asleep in my arms.

[Nettie]

Hi there!

Just a quick check in while DS is having quiet time (not asleep, but laying down quietly in his basinette).

Things are going ok, although we've had some new grizzles in the last few days. Liam seems to get pain before, during & after feeds - arches his back, then flings himself forward and cries in pain. Kicks his legs a lot too. He only spilled a little bit (1/2 teaspoon?) Took me ages to calm him down (thanks Janine for the 'talk quietly' tip!)... but now he's fine!

He's been sleeping less lately I reckon - anyone else finding this? There's definitely more 'alert' time.

I'm a bit worried that our house is a bit cold for him. And he's a little rascal for getting his arms out of his wrappings so his hands are always cold. We're thinking about getting a small heater for the bedroom (never heated it before!) and I'm looking into a 'proper' heater for the lounge area (only ever had a cheap radiant heater before) - hopefully this will help.

As for me, I'm still bleeding (has stopped 3 times, then started up again a day later) so I'm going to fill my repeat for my antibiotics. Hopefully Liam's baby biotics will be in at the health food shop tomorrow in case that's what he needs to stop the current issues. I'm a bit worried that I'll have to go through with the ultrasound that's been booked for me for next Thursday - it includes a 'vaginal probe' - eek! Don't wanna go..... Seeing the Ob on Monday and I think I'll talk to him about if I really HAVE to do it. The pains seem to have stopped, it's just the bleeding now.

Someone asked about nappies - I'm still using the disposables that were given to us. They'll run out in the next week or so though and we're considering getting some of those pre-formed cloth ones. But there are soooo many choices out there I'm confused! I'm currently trying to gauge how many nappies we might need to buy, then will go to a shop to have a good long look at all of the choices! In the meantime, I'll use the normal cloth nappies that you have to fold once the disposables run out. I've got about 30 of them here but need to get 'liners' for them - what do any of you use for liners???

Zennie - I hope you're doing ok...

Shoe - I'm sure Baxter will grow at his own pace without help from charts... Is he happy? That's all that matters I reckon. And as long as he's not losing weight.

Nessa - how did YOU go with the injections? I reckon I'll burst into tears!

Janine - I'm yet to feel too much discomfort from engorgement - even after 12 hours of not expressing! Glad to hear you had a good night - hope it keeps up!

Babywrangler - well done on your good night too! Alas, Liam can't keep a dummy in (due to cleft palate) so we try to get him to 'drop off' to sleep without it so it doesn't wake him when he realises it's not there. But sometimes if he wakes up, we have to hold it in until he gets back to sleep - very frustrating at times!

Belle - I often get a chance to read posts (about once a day), but don't always get the time to post myself - so that's why it's a big one when I do! Can't believe how much time I had to myself before Liam came along!! Seems like a distant memory now! I used to spend ages playing Mah Jong in the Arcade! Those times are long gone now...

Have a good one everyone... will look back in tomorrow! May the sleep fairy visit all our young 'uns!

[BabyWrangler]

YAY another good night by BJ.
Bed at 8:40, asleep by 9:20, dream feed at 10:30 (sleeps right through it), awak at 3:30 (dummy return while I heated bottle, slept til 4), bottle at 4, slept through to 7:20, bottle 7:20, and about to go back to bed!

Kinda threw his 10, 2 and 6 routine out of whack, but well feed again at 10 to try and kick start the cycle again.

BTW all bottles are EBM and food thinkener....I can't get him to take the thickener first then BF at the moment, he doesn't like the gel, or if I make it runnier won't drink it either, so can't give him that and BF....am expressing and bottle feeding.

[Beatrix]

Nettie- oh hun with regards to cloth nappies, please do not bu the fluffles from big w or taregt. or dont buy the ocvers from there either.

If you want my opinion on the best possible nappy fr you i would suggest a bum genius one size fits all. That way you can buy approx 14-20 of them and they will last you til he is toilet trained as they are adjustable. if you want to see any cloth nappies I have a few types here and I think Elibugs does cloth too so she could help.



The needles was horrible, i had all three irls done at the same time and i cried. Teleah (my eldest 4ys) she was so so upset and actually had a bit of a reaction to it last night with a high temp and vomiting. Mj has been a angel and not at all fussed. Annika got more upset about watchihng Teleah have hers.

Well its mY DH birthday today and we arent talking Things are not well here either. I am just so fed up of telling him to help me and he is never happy, always miserable. After the needles yest i thought it would be nice to go feed the ducks to cheer up the girls and do something as a family and he grumped the whole time. He never smiles anymore and we just dont get on. I am unfortunalty thinking things will not last to much longer as we are both unhappy.