I am still up and my brain is going. Hubbie noticed yesterday that the whole 8 week thing was getting to me and gave me a big cuddle that was so nice. MY brain is just taking me back to that whole time and my heart feels so full of grief and shock horror right now. i am sorta trying to ignore these feelings and emotions as i told want it to take hold of me. As then ill be useless for myself and all the children and i do need to stay functioning. Once i am past this spot things will hopefully im not sure maybe get back to normal.

I hope they do, with 1 year and a half of counselling ya would think i would be past all of this obviously not. Any how gotta keep brain going in positive ways, Josh is up so ill go see to him.

P.s hope ya don't all think of me as some nut case cause honestly i am not well i don't think i am. And i am sure that if any of you experienced what i did you would be in same boat as me right now. Hope ya don't mind me just letting it out here.