Hi ladies, been having a real rough trot here.

Even though my head and eyes are sore from so much crying, I actually am feeling a little better today and more confident.

This was yesterdays post, just didn't post it (so all events are from yesterday and the night before)

I gave Riley a dreamfeed at 11pm last nite with no fuss, then he woke at 5am and fed him with no fuss. But his 9am feed didn't come off, neither did it at 11.30am (I attempted again - seeing as his 9am feed was bad). So I fed him at 3pm this arvo and no problems at all.

I rang my CHN this morning and she said straight away "reflux" - get him to the doc. She said she knew it was only a matter of time for us until I said I had had enuf. I have said a few things at times obviously but it was nothing we couldn't handle, but this past week has just been terrible and so so stressful.

So off we went to the doc at 1pm. Arrogant pig! Said to me all babies/children are different and he is never convinced it is reflux unless a very severe case like lachlan (my first son). He said I am using my past experiences get in the way. He offered no assurance or advice but did give me a script to try zantac as a trial only.

Gosh it is not like I want to go thru this or give my child meds but if it means we are both happy again..... gosh I sooo don't want to be here again, but I have no choice!

He asked me why I was crying and I looked at him and said well what do I do if he won't feed, got any suggestions. It is the stress of it! Which he obviously is oblivious too! See he was not worried as he is a big boy 6.5kgs, but he didn't even begin to think that his weight gain has been subsiding alot, didn't even ask! Just rude, but he is the only doctor in town.

I truely believe that people just don't understand unless they have been thru this. Yes my baby has been a good feeder till now hence his weight gains, but geez it is a mother's right to do what she can for her child in order for them not to go downhill. I feed him whilst asleep and during the night to keep the weight on.

A girl that works for us (which I truely adore), said but he is a healthy chubby baby (and she just kept repeating this - after me repeating but it is the refusal to feed that is just sooo hard). I know he has weight on him (luckily as Lachlan never did), but I don't want him too loose weight regardless. I just wish people would say nothing, esp when it sounds condesecending. I would like to see them in the same situation feed in feed out when your baby is in pain and crying and you can't no matter how hard you try get them to feed. I know if I had never been in this situation I would never understand the extent of the situation but I also wouldn't even try to begin to understand too and would just feel for the person.

Anyway after seeing the doc, it is confirmed he has no thrush/tongue tie is fine/no ear or throat problems.

I then walked across road to CHN. She gave me a big hug and told me I am doing nothing wrong. I asked her how often I should be feeding him and she gave me the confidence to feed him 5 hourly if it meant that we wouldn't fight and get so stressed and maybe he would have a really big feed and would have emptied the contents of his tummy from his last feed and we might have more success. I just needed to hear this from her. As it appears that is why we had a better feed at 3pm as his last decent feed was 5am. But geez that is a long time. Maybe I have been forcing feeds on him sooner then he wanted it. So hearing that is just what I needed and with her guidance we will get thru this.

Sorry for the vent and the all about us post. I will be trying very hard to get ontop of this and hope to chat to you girls soon with some good news. xoxo