Hey Celsie, I've got no good advice but I'm hearing the sadness, frustration and confusion in your voice, and wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you. Debbie's a wise woman, she's given some good advice - I particularly liked the 'comforted crying' part, maybe something like that would suit you and Caeleb best.

We don't do controlled crying and never have, but Angus has this routine of kind of grizzling (we call it sleep screams) to get himself to sleep. Early on of course I'd go in and pick him up straight away, but then one day I had to go to the loo first and by the time I came out he'd gone to sleep. Since then I've learned the sound of the 'i am trying to go to sleep' noises and if he's going off to sleep slowly, I leave him to it. If the noises change to crying, we go in, pick him up or give him a pat and tell him we love him and it is time to sleep, and go out again. If there is no way he's ready for sleep, we get him up again. I know what you mean about not being able to listen to him cry, I hate it when Angus cries and I have to respond. For us, learning that those tired noises were ok and we should leave him be was a huge turning point in learning to self settle.

Feeding wise, I've no idea. Are the day feeds somewhere quiet and distraction free? I just feed Angus as he demands really but I am very fortunate that his last feed is at 10.30 then not until he wakes in the morning. I know he wakes overnight (as we all do) but he's mostly asleep and just makes those soft little baby murmurs for about 10sec, then quiet again. So I don't get up overnight. He's in a separate room to us which helps filter out little noises but lets the important ones (like 'come and get me mummy') through just fine.

I hope you're ok, don't worry about it you are doing a great job, and Caeleb is a beautiful little boy who loves his mummy dearly.