thanks for the re-welcomes! i like being back on this thread, i went thru a time when it was just all too much and i think when you don't respond to the daily emails for a certain time, then you stop being sent them.

christy, how did you burn yourself? I think burns are one of the hardest things to deal with, so incredibly painful, so hugs to you hon. Is it ok to ask you where you burnt yourself? How is Matilda coping with another bub in the house? We were in similar threads whilst pregnant and i wondered how your labour went and everything (cos by that stage i was a bit out of it computer wise - struggling to cope with how pearshaped our labour went).

Bon VOyage for your NZ trip Olivia, routine is so important for a bub (and you too so you can get some sleep) so i hope the trip goes well for you - maybe you'll have to get tough, lay down some groundrules e.g only x amount of visitors per day, only in the afternoon - whatever suits your bub the best - so you and bub can still survive ok. I just hope your rellies are spread out all over the shop, cos the constant driving or flying would make things even harder. It's hard when you're only there for a short time and everyone wants to see you, but no point you running yourself ragged adn then collapsing afterwards.

When you mention a "paid debriefing", that is what i would like, someone to debrief from the awful labour i went thru, someone to answer questions about the Bandl's Ring rare thing that happened to my uterus, i hope to go to a CARES meeting in my city on Wednesday, it's a group for women who have gone thru diasterous c-sections i think. Other states ahve similar groups called Birth rites i think.

Today, tiny bilby and i had our 2nd park outing in three months, i planted us under a shady tree, it was only 27 degrees (a lovely change from the 40 degrees we have had so much of this summer). Cos of not driving and being stuck at home, i haven't been able to buy the anti cancer council sunhat, baby sunnies and special sunblock i have wanted to get her, so i thought, if i keep her in the shade it will be ok. But at the 11 oclock feed, i noticed, with horror, her nose and all around it, the creases of the eyes, she is absolutely burnt - tears welled up in my eyes, i can't believe i let her get burnt, i feel like the worst monster now. I have fair skin, freckles and know how much sunburn hurts, her pale skin is so tender - i feel i spend so much time protecting her, trying to make life the best i can for her little being and then i go and do this?? OMG i am so ashamed of myself. We were out in from 1pm - 5pm in this park, if i was driving, that is a time i normally stay indoors, but because a kind friend volunteered to take us, put a spare baby seat in her car for tiny bilby and everything, i felt obliged to go at the time that suited her. bangs head. never again, even if people i know think "what a fusspot", i will have to be brave and say, "thanks, but actually i don't feel right taking tiny bilby out in the afternoon sun". i suppose the worst thing that could happen is that they will laugh at me, but that won't kill me, i must speak up about these things, always so worried "what will people say?", not wanting to offend anyone. But tiny bilby must come first. I feel like i have let her down so badly. It was SO nice to get out of the house and be in the fresh air. WIth dh working six days a week, and then doing housework/fixing things/often not being well enough to go anywhere on his day off, it's been months since i have been anywhere (except medical appointments like physio and rushed trips to supermarkets at ten minutes before closing.

sorry, needed to get that off my chest.