another night, spent from 7.30 - 12.30 trying to put bilby to bed, endless ear piercing screaming, doesn't want to be held, screams about the bed, screams about the cot, not interested in food, only seems to like us standing up cuddling her (which can't last, both of us have bad backs). Dh took her for a walk at 12.30, all rugged up, it's 1.20am and she's finally asleep in the pusher.

Tried to make a frittata tonight, it took twice as long to cook as my auntie said, but tasted ok. At least i cooked something, this is so rare since bilby.

Vicky, stop putting pressure on yourself darling, you and Aston have just survived what could have easily been, a fatal car crash - i'm just glad you two are alive. There WILL be other football games, your kids know you love them, i'm sure you normally do, and will in future, go along to their games and cheer them on. Take some deep breaths, you know deep down what is really importnat - being around to hug your family - and right now, YOU are the one needing the hugs. everythign else can go jump. You are more important.