We woke bilby every four hours last night, as the A n E doctor told us too, felt strange to do that when she is such a non-sleeper anyways, but it actually seemed to fit in with her feeds, so that wasn't too bad. She actually had several day sleeps today, most unlike her, so i think the extra sleeps and the constant wanting to breastfeed, are her ways of getting over the awful fall. I still can't believe she managed to contact FOUR separate shelf edges in that fall. all at the same point on her forehead.

i actually am not having the amount of mummy guilt, that i expected i would. Her room is so cramped, all the furniture is jammed together, nothing i can do about that, i know we are trapped in this place, it's not suitable on many levels, and we can't move anywhere else. i try so hard to make it as safe as i can for her. There ARE things beyond my control and i do believe the layout of her room is hazardous. don't know what else to do. i can only do so much with the money we are on. i worry all the time about the selfishness of dh and me, bringing a baby into the world when we can't afford to give her much. i don't mean trips to disneyworld and private schools, i mean a stable roof over her head and rooms bigger than a shoebox.

when it happened, i think i might have been in shock, dh was the one to say Ring the ambos, i was worried i was over reacting, didn't want the ambos to say "you're being over protective". I've had an acquired brain injury myself, so you'd think i'd be more aware, but i kind of shutdown, and just thought "cuddle her, put ice on bruise" - like i normally do when she comes a cropper. She has walked into the side of the fridge and had eggs before. But never with spilt skin in the middle before. the bruise came up in two halves, like an apricot. i keep on thinking, people will think we're silly for calling the ambulance, but the ambos and the hospital said it was the right thing to do in the situation that happened. I don't know why i am so bothered about what people think of me. she's my bub and at least she's ok now, that should be enough for me, dont' know why i'm being so silly.

Blanchie - hope you feel nice in your new pjs. It's so funny buying stuff late in pregnancy, you know it won't fit for long, but you still need SOMETHING that will fit you at the time, it's a strange feeling - limbo time in your life. i remember buying knickers at 39 weeks thinking - NOTHING fits me right now, i can't just go commando for the next few weeks!!!

Vicky - how is your dh?

Taralee - i'm thinking Farah Fawcett hairdo - the big flicks, flared trousers for 70's
Hammertime baggy pants and fluoro tshirts "Choose Life" for 80's
eyeliner for the boys e.g glam pop "spandeau ballet, duran duran
big hair
shoulder pads