Hi HJ, my heart goes out to you with the lack of sleep and crying. Liam's had a bad night. My sleep was 3 hours, then 1 hour, and the rest feeding and trying in vain to settle him. He only slept when we drove to the Dr for an appointment (he always sleeps in the car - If I hadn't had a c-section I'd be driving all day every day ). Then when we got home, he wouldn't settle again all arvo. DH let me escape for a couple hours sleep.
Tonight DH had had enough, and really, NOTHING was working. So we closed the door, finished making tea (kitchen is just outside his room) and let him cry for 20 mins while we actually ate TOGETHER(!!!!). By about 15 mins he was quiet and when we checked after the 20 mins he was sound asleep - and so far, still is. This is the 2nd time we've done this, and last time was almost as successful (he cried the whole 20 mins, but settled easily when i went in). It feels very unnatural to let him cry and not do anything, but when he's overtired it seems to work better than stressing ourselves out trying to fix something that probably can't be fixed. The book I read that recommended this (as a last stitch effort - I think it was 'Baby Love' by Robin Barker) recommended 20-30 mins, no less, which I would agree with (though it's hard). Don't know if this helps anyone, but HJ, if Bianca's having such a hard time settling she's probably well and truly over tired by the end of the day and maybe this will give you and DH some sanity. I know it doesn't answer the question of why she's crying in the 1st place, but when i was looking around when Liam was crying constantly, everyone basically said that once you've answered all the basic questions (are they hungry, hot, cold, wet, windy, bored, overtired etc) they're probably just crying. "Babies cry" everyone says - VERY unhelpful, but this is what I meant when I said we'd stopped stressing about it. We just let him cry and do the best we can. I agree, I don't think the bottle feeding would be causing any problems. And because I've lived through a crying baby I know it's the most demoralisng thing you can experience as a new mum. Please believe everyone when they're saying you're not doing anything wrong. Some babies cry more than others. My DH was a terror as a baby to his poor parents crying constantly and never sleeping for 3 months or so (they'd lived through SEVEN miscarriages before he came along - what a nightmare of a miracle he was huh ). Good luck, take a deep breath, and take time to congratulate yourself on the things you're doing well, no matter how small. To get you started: You're asking for help (something I'm really bad at); you love and care about your little girl strongly enough to keep looking for an answer for her; and you're giving her everything you can when you can (e.g. moving to bottle feeding when bf wasn't working). You're not doing a bad job as a mum, you're just experiencing a couple of REEALLY tricky situations. Keep your chin up.
Starskky - LOL on your snuffling little boy. After giving anxious little cries to start with, Liam just sleeps the whole time while feeding.
Well, I'm gonna go catch up on some sleep while he's sleeping. I'm really nervous about tomorrow. I have some 2 hour thing for new mums at the Community Health Centre and am dreading that Liam might be unsettled during the whole thing and how I'll handle it. Why a TWO HOUR thing for new mums??!!! Like it's not nerve wracking enough getting out of the house for a short time for something that's flexible!
Morning everyone,
Just wanted to pop in quickly...... hmmm you wont get rid of me now!!!~ lol
DS went over on the tiles this morning and has a small gash in his head, yay just in time for the Santa photo!!!! hmmmm can't win here something always happens if we have plans!!!
Hj,
I agree with 1stbub27 that control crying can be very helpful in getting bubs into a sleep routine! I have done this many times with my children and children using daycare, sometimes they just wont settle and when your at your wits end a 20 minute break wont hurt you or bubs!
I can remember a few nights with DD when we were out driving or walking up and down with the pram...... luckily for us she always settled after a good scream!
Hope Bianca starts to settle for you soon!!!!!
Starry - like you, we have a snorty, grunty, loud drinker on our hands. It is especially bad at night time when I feed him in bed, DH can't believe how loud he is!!
We had a great night last night. Logan slept from 10 until 3, but was making so many noises in his sleep that i was awake on and off from 12 expecting him to want a feed. He then slept again until 7:30 which was blissful for us. We are off to Kmart today and Babyco to spend a voucher. Chat later
hj1981 - You are doing a fantastic job hun and whatever you decide - happy mummy = happy baby. Babies tend to have a witching hour, usually at night when you are about to cook dinner etc... Izzy used to watch her Baby Einstein dvd (bad mummy ) but it was all I could do to entertain her. Very early on DH would come home to find me feeding or her asleep on my chest and me too scared to put her down so I just let her be....and we got takeaway. DO whatever it takes to get you both through that time hun - if you have a sling wear her so that you can do other stuff and she will sleep. \
Amandaj =- How are you going with your gorgeous boys hun!
Olivesmummy - It is hard when your milk takes so long to come in. If bubs is putting one weght then that is great. I thought I had thrush with Izzy and we treated it but apparantly it is commonly misdiagnosed and I really think my nipples were jsut sore. I agree with Amanda...James constantly has white stuff on his tongue which is just fat from the milk so look for whiteness around the sides of his cheeks too. James is in a hammock because he guzzles so much and has wind pain and it has made a huge difference. We hired it from Hire for Baby.We also cycle his legs and keep him upright for at least 15 mns after each feed. Good luck with it all.
Kylie - sounds like you are doing well and Logan is gorgeous!! Great photo and good luck shopping!!!
Starrysky! Hi lovely...I too have a typical boy ...nuzzles into my boobs, snorts and grunts all night long and he is BIG! How big was Jacob hun? I was thinking that James is nearly out of newborn too (4.7kgs last Monday!) and I have 2 more boxes...with Izzy I took them back to coles with no receipt and asked if I could exchange them for a bigger size and they were more than happy to do it so its worth a try. As far as "unusually large foetus - pfftttt the medical profession lose more and more of my respect every day- I was told James was "average sized" on the scan considering he was 14 days late and he was 10lb! Go figure!
Snoopea - I'm with you on enjoying every moment because this is our last one too and he seems so grown up already! We got a little giggle noise yesterday at MG I coudn't believe it! Our little man seems to have worked out night and day too and I was only up at 1am and and then 5am for feeds from 7 last night! Bliss! Amazing how a 4 hour stretch of sleep can make you feel like a new woman. I had really sore nipples for a while and put lashings of Lansinoh on them but they have finally settled down so I hope you all find that yours settle down soon too.
Good luck at Santas cave today- poor DS - I hate it when they stack like that. Izzy has a shiner at the moment from falling off DH's leg face first while playing horsey
1stbub - I hope you had a good night last night hun - and you are right about the crying. Sometimes unfortunately you do just have to give yourself a break. Keep bub safe in bed, and leave for a while to get yourself together for round 324! It does get easier hun. Good luck at your health centre thing - don't forget that there will be other mums there too who will know exactly what its like!
Not sure who I have missed - still getting my head around the newies and the group!!!! We are well, James is sleeping for a great block each night from 7sh til 11-1ish then another 3-4 hour stint. Day sleeps are pretty erratic he likes being with us so sleeps in his bouncer a bit during the day. Off to shower wile I can! Have a brilliant day lades and bubs be kind to your mummies!
Thankyou everyone for your thoughts and advice, everyone here is so friendly! Olive and I went to clinic today and she hasn't got thrush but the CFHN said that she is feeding well and isn't sure why my nipples won't heal (great help that was). Olive has however grown another 2cms this week which is pretty crazy, her Daddy is 6ft4in and she is very long and skinny like him. She is still very windy and is having huge periods of being awake and cluster feeding which i'm sure is normal but hard when your nipples feel like they are going to fall off. If my hubby even hugs me I want to punch him, poor thing. I am going to try some homeapathics and an osteopath I think as i've heard that babies who have been through traumatic birth (see birth story) have a tendancy to have spine problems which can cause wind. Has anyone tried this or other alternative therapies on their babies and found that it helps?
hello hello hello.. u have all missed me.. i know lol
snoop - great to see u back!
speaking of santa photos, whos getting one done for their bubs? i have a feeling Mia will just stare at santa and then prob sream but ill take her to get one anyway.. just to add to the album.
Mia did good last night, she slept from about 11:30pm to 5:30am fed till 6:40ish and slept until 9:30am, i was proud. Spent 2 hours in centrelink today!!! my appointment was 11am and i didnt get seen till 12:45 and then to get told "come back another day"... grrr needless to say i wasnt impressed. Then Mia had her 2 week check up and it was all good. She is now 3760 grams (8lb 4oz) and 51 cm long and her hc is 36.5. everything else was great. Weight gain not real good but shes got another check next week to see how its going.
hi all, did you miss me????? got a little lost between threads I've been in the october 1-15th didn't see this one.
How are we all getting on with our little ones?
Liam's had a bad night. My sleep was 3 hours, then 1 hour, and the rest feeding and trying in vain to settle him. He only slept when we drove to the Dr for an appointment (he always sleeps in the car - If I hadn't had a c-section I'd be driving all day every day
). Then when we got home, he wouldn't settle again all arvo. DH let me escape for a couple hours sleep.
This is the 2nd time we've done this, and last time was almost as successful (he cried the whole 20 mins, but settled easily when i went in). It feels very unnatural to let him cry and not do anything, but when he's overtired it seems to work better than stressing ourselves out trying to fix something that probably can't be fixed. The book I read that recommended this (as a last stitch effort - I think it was 'Baby Love' by Robin Barker) recommended 20-30 mins, no less, which I would agree with (though it's hard). Don't know if this helps anyone, but HJ, if Bianca's having such a hard time settling she's probably well and truly over tired by the end of the day and maybe this will give you and DH some sanity. I know it doesn't answer the question of why she's crying in the 1st place, but when i was looking around when Liam was crying constantly, everyone basically said that once you've answered all the basic questions (are they hungry, hot, cold, wet, windy, bored, overtired etc) they're probably just crying. "Babies cry" everyone says - VERY unhelpful, but this is what I meant when I said we'd stopped stressing about it. We just let him cry and do the best we can. I agree, I don't think the bottle feeding would be causing any problems. And because I've lived through a crying baby I know it's the most demoralisng thing you can experience as a new mum. Please believe everyone when they're saying you're not doing anything wrong. Some babies cry more than others. My DH was a terror as a baby to his poor parents crying constantly and never sleeping for 3 months or so (they'd lived through SEVEN miscarriages before he came along - what a nightmare of a miracle he was huh
After giving anxious little cries to start with, Liam just sleeps the whole time while feeding.
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