Hi HJ, my heart goes out to you with the lack of sleep and crying. Liam's had a bad night. My sleep was 3 hours, then 1 hour, and the rest feeding and trying in vain to settle him. He only slept when we drove to the Dr for an appointment (he always sleeps in the car - If I hadn't had a c-section I'd be driving all day every day ). Then when we got home, he wouldn't settle again all arvo. DH let me escape for a couple hours sleep.
Tonight DH had had enough, and really, NOTHING was working. So we closed the door, finished making tea (kitchen is just outside his room) and let him cry for 20 mins while we actually ate TOGETHER(!!!!). By about 15 mins he was quiet and when we checked after the 20 mins he was sound asleep - and so far, still is. This is the 2nd time we've done this, and last time was almost as successful (he cried the whole 20 mins, but settled easily when i went in). It feels very unnatural to let him cry and not do anything, but when he's overtired it seems to work better than stressing ourselves out trying to fix something that probably can't be fixed. The book I read that recommended this (as a last stitch effort - I think it was 'Baby Love' by Robin Barker) recommended 20-30 mins, no less, which I would agree with (though it's hard). Don't know if this helps anyone, but HJ, if Bianca's having such a hard time settling she's probably well and truly over tired by the end of the day and maybe this will give you and DH some sanity. I know it doesn't answer the question of why she's crying in the 1st place, but when i was looking around when Liam was crying constantly, everyone basically said that once you've answered all the basic questions (are they hungry, hot, cold, wet, windy, bored, overtired etc) they're probably just crying. "Babies cry" everyone says - VERY unhelpful, but this is what I meant when I said we'd stopped stressing about it. We just let him cry and do the best we can. I agree, I don't think the bottle feeding would be causing any problems. And because I've lived through a crying baby I know it's the most demoralisng thing you can experience as a new mum. Please believe everyone when they're saying you're not doing anything wrong. Some babies cry more than others. My DH was a terror as a baby to his poor parents crying constantly and never sleeping for 3 months or so (they'd lived through SEVEN miscarriages before he came along - what a nightmare of a miracle he was huh ). Good luck, take a deep breath, and take time to congratulate yourself on the things you're doing well, no matter how small. To get you started: You're asking for help (something I'm really bad at); you love and care about your little girl strongly enough to keep looking for an answer for her; and you're giving her everything you can when you can (e.g. moving to bottle feeding when bf wasn't working). You're not doing a bad job as a mum, you're just experiencing a couple of REEALLY tricky situations. Keep your chin up.
Starskky - LOL on your snuffling little boy. After giving anxious little cries to start with, Liam just sleeps the whole time while feeding.
Well, I'm gonna go catch up on some sleep while he's sleeping. I'm really nervous about tomorrow. I have some 2 hour thing for new mums at the Community Health Centre and am dreading that Liam might be unsettled during the whole thing and how I'll handle it. Why a TWO HOUR thing for new mums??!!! Like it's not nerve wracking enough getting out of the house for a short time for something that's flexible!
Liam's had a bad night. My sleep was 3 hours, then 1 hour, and the rest feeding and trying in vain to settle him. He only slept when we drove to the Dr for an appointment (he always sleeps in the car - If I hadn't had a c-section I'd be driving all day every day
). Then when we got home, he wouldn't settle again all arvo. DH let me escape for a couple hours sleep.
This is the 2nd time we've done this, and last time was almost as successful (he cried the whole 20 mins, but settled easily when i went in). It feels very unnatural to let him cry and not do anything, but when he's overtired it seems to work better than stressing ourselves out trying to fix something that probably can't be fixed. The book I read that recommended this (as a last stitch effort - I think it was 'Baby Love' by Robin Barker) recommended 20-30 mins, no less, which I would agree with (though it's hard). Don't know if this helps anyone, but HJ, if Bianca's having such a hard time settling she's probably well and truly over tired by the end of the day and maybe this will give you and DH some sanity. I know it doesn't answer the question of why she's crying in the 1st place, but when i was looking around when Liam was crying constantly, everyone basically said that once you've answered all the basic questions (are they hungry, hot, cold, wet, windy, bored, overtired etc) they're probably just crying. "Babies cry" everyone says - VERY unhelpful, but this is what I meant when I said we'd stopped stressing about it. We just let him cry and do the best we can. I agree, I don't think the bottle feeding would be causing any problems. And because I've lived through a crying baby I know it's the most demoralisng thing you can experience as a new mum. Please believe everyone when they're saying you're not doing anything wrong. Some babies cry more than others. My DH was a terror as a baby to his poor parents crying constantly and never sleeping for 3 months or so (they'd lived through SEVEN miscarriages before he came along - what a nightmare of a miracle he was huh
After giving anxious little cries to start with, Liam just sleeps the whole time while feeding.
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