Babies Born October 16th ~ 31st 2009

[Kazmar]

Just a quick post... i am hiding out in the study as DH tries to calm a screaming Eli! He is shortly due for a feed but is being particularly unsettled tonight.

Just had a couple of questions for you ladies re feeds / BF.... how long do your bubs tend to feed for on each feed and generally how far apart are there feeds?

Eli is feeding for approx 45 mins and during day this is every 4 hours but at night it stretches to 6 (this is his waking pattern). I'm not sure if i am feeding him for too long at each feed etc as all the midwives say not to time feeds and just feed on demand, but i am concerned i am going to overfeed him!

Ah, the worries of a first time mum!

Hope you ladies are all doing well and bubs are all quiet and sleeping.

Tam. xx

Sounds to me your doing it exactly right What a great pattern you and Eli are in!

[ElleJay]

Will do personals later

I'm doing my head in, honestly! DS is screaming his lungs out - it's 3:28am and I KNOW he's crying so much cause he's over tired - we got up for the day at 10:30am and he never slept more than an hour during the day.. And then a couple of hour naps from 4pm, but each time I (I shouldn't put we, because DH has done sweet f*** all - yes I know DH has to work tomorrow, just a lil bit of help would be nice though!) put him in his basinette after he has dozed off on my chest, he'll wake up 2 minutes later screaming again I've tried EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!! I've given him a warm bath with some Johnson and Johnson Baby Bedtime Bath, I've changed him, burped him, fed him (which is all he seems interested in right now - and so much of it right now! He's had about 6 feeds in 3/4 hours), cuddled him, rocked him in his rocker and I'm honestly at my wits end.. He's sitting on my lap right now, fighting the sleep, but I KNOW he needs to sleep.. I've got a friend coming at 10am today too, so now I know I'll just stuff all sleep I just have had a good cry and I feel like I need another one. It doesn't help with DH came home from work, took his mum home and never came back for another 2 or so hours later (not till just after 6pm) then when he got home sat on the computer to do his work for the day tomorrow (well, today) then sat on here till AT LEAST 1am

Anyways, if I can get some sleep, I'll do personals when I've woken up and the visitor has gone.

[ElleJay]

Sorry, double post

[fi1980]

LJ sounds like you are having a really tough time! Also sounds like DH needs a good kick up the bum

I know it's hard but you need to stay as calm as possible as the little ones pick up on our emotions. Looking back I can see that on our worst nights they have been the ones where I have not been coping and have been getting really stressed and anxious causing Leila to become even more unsettled. One night Leila decided she wouldn't settle down to sleep until 7:30am so I can totally sympathise with you! It is so challenging at times, I don't think anyone can really prepare you for the tough times. But everyone keeps telling me that there is light at the end of the tunnel and the 6 week mark is some sort of magical turning point when everything seems to settle down. Good to know but at the same time that for me is a month away!! Perhaps DS is doing a fair bit of growing at the moment hence all the feeds. I've noticed the same with Leila in the last 2 days, she just wants to feed feed feed!

Tammie sounds like you have a good routine so I wouldn't stress about it, I think whatever works for you & bubs is fine. They let you know when they are hungry so if Eli wants to feed more frequently he will, if not then I would say he is one very happy little bubba! I wish I had your routine actually! Leila feeds generally around every 3 hours and is an absolute guts! She gets so excited when she sees my boob and tends to guzzle down as much as she needs within 10 minutes, sometimes she's done in 5! It was starting to worry me as she was giving herself a bit of wind but just in the last day or 2 she's settled down and is feeding more slowing and for longer, around 15-20 minutes. Also seems to have helped with her sleeping too as we had a fantastic night last night, she settled easily and slept soundly for solid 3 hour blocks waking for a feed then straight back to sleep. That is the first time she has done that - normally she screams all night and wont settle so I definitely think the change in her feeding habits is helping with that. Anyway, if you and Eli are happy then I wouldn't change anything.

How is everyone else going? I think this forum is going to be great for all of us new mums to allow us to vent and get advice. As much as I feel for everybody who is going through difficult times it actually seems to help me in knowing that I am not alone as it is so easy to feel alone and isolated, as though you are the only one going through this. I hope everybody uses this to get the support they need - we are not alone, we have each other!

Hope everyone has a great day

Fi

[Kazmar]

Lj- Sounds like he's a little over stimulated Try using your pram with a mat underneth, so theres a slight bump while pushing back and forth. Sounds silly but my health nure gave me the tip when Annabelle was little and it works!
Also you would have been given a health nurse line that you can call 24/7. Do it! They were my life savors with Annabelle
Try the pram Also maybe a dummy....

[fi1980]

Well after one good night we are back to having terrible nights again! It is so frustrating as I tried to do all the right things, all the same things that resulted in a great night the other night but nothing seemed to work and Leila just wouldn't settle. The only time I could get her to sleep was with her lying on my chest which I know is not a good thing to get in to but when she screams and screams and wont settle any other way what can you do? I know that without sleep she gets worse so I figured at least some sleep even though not in an ideal position is better than no sleep? I'm starting to feel like I'm losing it today. Last week I had a cracked, bleeding nipple which is still healing and sore to feed from and in the last couple of days I've had mastitis so I have felt dreadful with a really sore boob and fever, thankfully it seems to be clearing up now. This is all so hard!!!!!!!! To make it worse I have an exam to do - my last ever exam thank goodness. It is a take home exam which is not too bad and the lecturer gave me a few extra days to do it but I know it's not helping as I'm stressed and anxious about getting it done on top of having a baby that wont settle at night... I need a break!

Sorry, just had to get it all out

Fi

[JellyBean]

Hey guys - love to those of you fighting to get some zzzz's - it really can drive you mad but hang in there!!
Those of you who don't have one - I highly recommend getting a Sleepy Wrap!! It is the absolute bomb!! Settles an unsettled baby very quickly, and as it holds them vertical, you can stick them in there after a feed and walk around with your arms free - or simply when you don't have the strength to hold them upright any longer!!! I had a baby bjorn for DS1, but in my experience it doesn't compare.

In response to Tammy's qu regarding feeding, we are feeding roughly every 3 hours (give or take 30 mins) around the clock at moment. I feed for 15 mins on 1 breast, then I do 10 mins of 'vertical' time to bring up wind, then its onto the other breast for another 15 mins, followed by more vertical time. Even if he is sound asleep I always do vertical time otherwise if i put him down he'll wake up with wind pains 10 or so mins later. So all up a feed takes about an hour.

Once the wind is up and he is settled - I put him down in his bassinette (wait for it...) on his tummy (yep - its my guilty secret!), with his little head to the side, and he goes straight off to sleep, waking for a feed roughly 3 hours from the last one.
I started tummy sleeping with DS1 when he was 6 weeks old as I had barely slept and couldn't bear the constant waking. My Mum urged me to try it as she reckoned it was the way they were told was safer in their day, so the babies could bring up wind better and not choke on their vomit. I know what they say about SIDS etc - but I have honestly not looked back since that day. Both my boys hate being on their back - even in a swaddle I think they must feel very exposed. Once on their tummy they just seem to snuggle in like they are against your chest and nod off. Its truely the only way I can survive - so don't kill me for revealing my secret!! My mattress is firm (and organic!) and I don't put any fluffy stuff in there!!! Jasper's bassinette is also right next to our bed so I can hear him and check on him regularly. At the end of the day you have to do what works for you - as they say.

[Kazmar]

I have birthed another NON SLEEPER!!!!

Fi- What ever works for you, and sleeping on your chest isn't that bad They have just come from INSIDE you they need to feel you. Its understandable Dont listen to ppl that say "You'll make a rod for your own back" blah blah blah
It doesn't bother me in the slightest if Annabelle hopes into bed with us! I mean really they are only little for such a small time

JellyBean- Thats what my mum was told when we were born Mind you Im already a worry wort when she's on her back haha. I doubt you're the only mummy out there with that same secret

[fi1980]

Jellybean what is the sleepy wrap and where can I get one? Also what is the book you mentioned? I'm at my witts ends today after another restless night. I'm so totally exhausted. All I seem to do is feed her then try to settle her, feed her again etc etc and when settling takes forever or doesn't seem to work it feels like all I'm doing is feeding her and driving myself insane because one of my nipples is still really sore and it's a struggle to feed from that side, but seeing as I've had mastitis I know I need to keep using that boob otherwise it will all get much worse. So today I'm having a bit of a breakdown and I just don't know what to do! I know it will get better but in the meantime I don't know what to do so that I can cope with it better. As much as I love being a mum it is so much harder than I ever imagined!