kellie - this is what I do (and I think Trish's settling is very similar). I take him into his room (which is darkened and has Sounds for Silence playing softly), change his nappy and then wrap him. Once i've wrapped him, I pick him up and give him a bit of a cuddle, shhhhh and say to him 'time for sleeping' (or whatever you want to say). I then put him down wide awake, give him his dummy and walk out. He will usually grizzle on and off and depending on how upset he gets I will go in, stroke his forehead, pop his dummy back in if he's lost it and shhhh. Once he settles a bit, I will leave again. I might have to do this a few times. Sometimes i will walk out the first time and he will either have a really short grizzle and go off to sleep or he won't make a sound at all and go straight to sleep. If he is crying, I try to pat him but if that doesn't settle him I will pick him up and give him a cuddle till he settles and then start the process again. I never leave him to cry or to become distressed.
You also need to remember that it's a gradual process. When you first start it will take longer, but the more consistent you are and the more she starts to be comfortable with it, the shorter the settling time. I've seen a big improvement in DS in just a few weeks. It will eventually get to the point where you wrap her, put her down and walk out and that's it. That doesn't usually happen till they are a bit older, maybe 4, 5 months? In the meantime you will probably need to do a bit of settling most of the time, but some babies pick it up quicker than others.
Good luck - it does take some effort and isn't easy at times, but the pay off in the long run is sooooo worth it. In a few months you'll be on easy street while other mums might still be spending a lot of time settling, rocking, patting etc (and I just want to point out please, I'm NOT saying there's anything wrong with that, people have different preferences and ways of settling, but with a toddler too I just don't have time to pat or rock DS to sleep every time.)
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