This thread is for parents who's baby was born in September 2007.
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There are many issues that you will encounter as a new parent. We have put together this list of useful articles and threads in order to assist you with some common questions or issues you may have, and to provide you with bit of extra support that we all need as new parents:
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i am soooo sick of picking up after everyone!!!! why does lewis have to find everything he can get his hands on and drag it all over the house?
can someone please tell my dh that if you drink a 2litre bottle of milk (who does that after they turn 15 anyway???) you do not just leave the bottle wherever you are sitting. same goes for empty beer bottles.
i cannot bend over ffs!!!! i refuse to bend over and pick up another thing in this friggen house.
Noni - Dont feel bad we all have days with our toddlers where we just want to have a 5 minute break from it all. Did you find something to do today to keep you both occupied?
Andie - I give her full cream milk. I'm just so over it, I'm exhausted today after another long night. Your boys are right into swimming at the moment arent they?
MD - Whats this about a trip to the hospital? Are they going to remove the stones soon? I like supernanny's trick, I've been using that one not knowing its her trick, thinking I was so clever lol.
Clare - Thats a good idea about the milk sippy drinks. Might give that one a go.
Sorry to whoever I've missed, I cant remember what was said & its a new thread now....
Gosh I had a horrible night with poor M last night. This whole getting rid of the bottle is going to be such hard work with her, at this age. She cried on & off for hours last night, until DP & I were so exhausted that we gave in. I was so frustrated I threw a baby bottle at the wall & ended up sobbing on the kitchen floor Rainy I think you are right, we might just keep going with the whole night feed thing & hopefully she will just grow out of it. I'm just scared of her being 2 with us still getting up to her & then at that age I'd expect it to be an even harder habit to break?
So after my melt down last night I decided that today I was going to forget about it, be a happy mummy, & get outta the house. First stop the doctor, the appt was for me but while I was there I had her look over M as she had a cold last week with a really runny nose & she is prone terribly to ear infections. Also has a bit of a nasty cough happening. So sure enough her ears are starting to inflame, so tonight its pain stop & then if she is extra grumpy tomorrow start her on antibiotics. So I felt guilty as all hell after my break down last night, her ears may have been why she was so upset. I was so embarrassed to tell DP, I often wonder if he thinks I am a bad mum in the back of his mind but he always assures me I am not hehe. So I asked the doc if I could take her swimming at the pools, she said go ahead, so I took her down for a nice swim & she loved it. So we had a nice day & even pigged out on hot chips & a cupcake. Sometimes I just feel like the worst mum in the world & I dont deserve such a perfect little girl.
Ohhh Rainy sorry I had to have a little giggle! You tell that man of yours to get his act together lol. Mine is so much the same, its very annoying isnt it. As for L getting into mischief, I so hear you on that one, just sit back & let him go for it & then make DH clean up when he's in bed.
Rainy, don't get mad, get creative! Perhaps you could gather them together and leave them somewhere REALLY inconvenient to him...like under the sheets on his side of the bed, or folded into his clean work clothes? Eloquent in a slightly unhinged-pregnant lady kind of way, don't you think ?!
MM - I'm sure SuperNanny wasn't the first to think of it, I just like the way it rhymes. MM of course you're a wonderful mummy, being awake for hours in the middle of the night is never the most glamorous moment for any of us. Sounds like your little swim and picnic was just the thing! Hope M's ears are better soon. Have you got any dimetapp or demazin? DD1 was prone to ear infections until I twigged to use that whenever she was a bit coldy and guess what - no more infections. We have tiny ear tubes (genetic defect from me I'm afraid) so you might find it helpful with M too. xxx
Seeing surgeon next week to go onto waiting list to get the gallbladder sorted. Praying he says soemthing like you poor dear I can fit you in next week. Feel like such an aunty maude complaining about my gallstones all the time .
md- i've tried that! i lined up a whole heap of beer bottles and put them in his shower...or i even put them in his work boots...makes no difference. i'm so sick of bending over!
hope your wait isn't too long, fingers crossed..
hayley- i can't believe you think you're a bad mum! you're not at all, you're fantastic!
if anything i reckon your dp would be looking at your sil thinking how awesome you are compared to her.
i'm no expert, but i just know that everytime i have stressed myself out about something lewis is doing that i think he shouldn't be, or that it will form a bad habit, it has made it worse iykwim? do you remember how much i used to stress about him breastfeeding to sleep at every single sleep and how i thought i'd still have him on my boob at 15years old? well, some how i just kind of 'got over it', stopped stressing about it, didn't tell anyone about it....and what do you know? he stopped it. all by himself, with no change from me. xoxoxo
i say- do what works...whatever is easiest for you guys atm.
Rainy - I so hear you on picking things up all the time. I'm not pregnant and it pi$$es me off immensely. DH just doesn't think about things like that at all. I had to throw 1L of milk out this morning because he left it out after giving Sarah a bottle at 5.30am. I didn't see it until 8.30am and it was hot so gone-skis down the drain. I too have tried the whole leaving his stuff out and in his way and it just gets chucked back on the floor.
MM - Please do not stress about your meltdown. I have so many out of sheer frustration with S that its not funny. If only she would actually stick to one routine instead of chopping and changing. I could probably handle her better if she did it at the same time etc. I've thrown things at walls, yelled, screamed and yep even punched a wall once. (Sore knuckles from that one let me tell you). I hope Mads is feeling better tonight and goes down easily and stays down.
AFM *VENT* - Well DH has truly ***** me tonight. He sat on the couch while I ran around and did things, watched me as I tried to feed a very cranky Sarah her dinner in the midst of everything else. Then finally took over and whinged that she was being annoying (DUH!!, Mr Obvious). Then after I told him last night that he has to put her to bed for a week or so (to avoid me spending half the night in there with her), he goes and announces that he's heading to his mums for dinner. He then rings me and wants to know why I didn't answer my mobile (ah hello...trying to put Miss Cranky Pants to bed as well as feed myself and my niece). He wants to go fishing tonight...I say fine (in the typical pi$$ed off womans way) then he wants to chat conversationally while I have S screaming in the background. He so doesn't get it. I think about divorce or kicking him out until he realises but then remember that his mum spoils him rotten so he'd probably be fine with moving out. I don't think I can keep doing what I'm doing with him. He says he supports me through PND but then pulls these stunts and sooks that he doesn't have any me (him) time. He wanted this baby probably even more than me so why is it me doing everything. I love living up here now, have made some great IRL friends and living this close to the beach rocks so don't want to have to move if it comes to that (me moving out or us seperating) but I don't think that I could stay up here if something did happen. Let alone the pressure from mum to move back. I also want another baby but don't think that I could deal with another if this is how DH is with 1. I'm trying to get myself sorted out with gym and feeling better about myself so am hoping that this is what is needed to help the relationship (from my end at least). I've tried the talking thing with him but it seems to go straight out the other ear. Anyway...*VENT OVER* Just needed to vent to someone other than my niece.
hhmmmm-not sure what to say kate, because i have similar issues with my dh- except, of course, i don't have the pnd to go with it, so can't really understand how much harder that makes it on you. big hugs xoxo
could you try a day out with a gf and leave sarah with him for the whole day?
i found that because dh was working so much and such long hours in the lead up to xmas, he didn't really understand how full-on ds was becoming. since he's had a few days off and we went away with ds, he's completely shocked at how much work it is keeping up with ds. even tonight, he was dressing ds for bed while i was having a bath, and ds came running into the bathroom laughing his head off with dh chasing after him.
sometimes men are just really dumb and don't realise how tough you're doing it. after i spent the whole day picking up all his stuff from everywhere, he actually made me dinner while i sat and watched the cricket and then even gave me a back massage (it went for about 4 mins though, much like dtd with him )..sometimes i just have to absoutely 'crack it' to get this kind of treatment though.
i hope it all works out for you, like i said, a day of leaving him with dd for the whole day while you go out for lunch/movies/beauty salon could make a big difference xoxo
Glad to see that I'm not the only one needing to vent today!!! Think we've all had a go lol
Kate - Yep I'm the same as Rainy and have to crack it big time to get any sort of help or attention. I hope that you can sort out the issues between you, I hope that you dont have to go down the seperation path. Keep going to the gym and doing whatever it is that you need to do to get yourself back on track. Can you have a chat about it all with your DH, I know you said it seems to go in one ear & out the other, but if you tell him how serious you are about it all maybe he will listen then? Dont stress I'm sure everything will work out, relationships take work to maintain & no one has a perfect relationship thats for sure.
Rainy - LOL at you lining up the beer bottles. Thats hillarious!!! About me wondering if I'm a good mum, deep down of course I know I'm a good mum but I think its just in my nature to question myself alot. I also have a bad habit of comparing myself to others & worrying what others are doing with their own kids iykwim? & then when I lose the plot and chuck a hissy fit & have no patience for Maddie, I just feel incredibly guilty. You are so bl00dy right, she will grow out of it I wont stress about it anymore - this is a good example of where I compare myself to others. I tell myself that no other bubs in mums group are waking for a bottle at 15 months, and on & on. I think I need to stop worrying about other people & just go with the flow when it comes to my own family.
MD - Ohhhh thanks for that tip re the medication. Do you mean that it works by stopping as much mucus going down into the eustacian (spelling?) tube? Thats what the doc told me, when she sleeps it rolls down into her ear tube & becomes infected. I will have to remember that because EVERY time M gets a cold an ear ache develops. I hope they can fit you in next week for your gallstones.
I just stuffed myself big time with a KFC meal...ohhhh I feel sick lol
Rainy i remember those days. I even had trouble picking Alex up
Hayley:
Swimming as in playing in the toddler pool, yeap! As in lessons .. not so much
Wat if you were to start slowly watering the milk down, like 20mls a week or so?? If its not to warm of a nite, you can try putting the bottle in her bed, when you go to bed, thus its there ready for her. i hear you on the feelings.
MD: hun, gallstones are horrid aren't they! When I had mine, the dr told me if they played up bad enof to go to the hosp, go to the hosp they sent the referal to (if possible) cos they wld already have the issue on file .. tho 5 weeks after they were confirmed I was in an ambulance being taken to the hosp (then it took a fight from my mum to get the surgeon to admit me .. he reckoned I was to young to know what pain was, mind u i had passed out in the casino in bris & then was in & out of consciousness for 2hrs w8n for the ambulance & everytime I was awake I was screaming) but then mum told him bout my back op, he changed his mind. I hope you get some relief from it soon & that the w8n list you go in isn't a long one xxx
Kate hun, my heart just went out to you reading your post.
AFM:
not a good day .. been emotional all morning, boys won't leave me alone & has to be under my feet & i can't think straight
anyway .. off to get ready for swimming lessons ... need a good distraction!!!!
MM - Dimetapp is like a decongestant and an anti-histamine so it kind of dries up the snot a bit AND also reduces the swelling in the nasal, sinus and ear passages so they don't block up. You might need a script for the infant one (not sure about Demazin, you might be able to get that over the counter?) but worth a try.
Kate, I'm with Rainy, a day out having girly-time could be what everyone needs. Your DH needs to get with the program. Can you talk to your MIL and get her to tell him he's got to pull his weight? I can't even believe he left you at home to go and have dinner at his mothers (what the hell is that about??). Time to negotiate some boundaries re free time (ie you might agree to one night a week for him provided you get one night or a weekend morning/afternoon for you). Then he can pick how much he wants to go fishing vs visiting his mother or cram it all into one evening. One of my male colleagues takes his 2 small DDs for cafe brunch every sunday morning & then they got to a park/for a walk, whatever, because it's the standing arrangement that it's his wife's "time off" for the week. Rock solid arrangement. Fair's fair. A lot of men complain about not having free time when their kids are little but they need to be men and suck it up. Like we do. xxx and !!
Andi - your gallstones sound horrible! Your mum sounds like a warrior woman, fighting with the surgeon to get you admitted LOL! I take it bepanthen didn't have any long-term effects on Jack LOL. Swimming (ie playing in the toddler pool) is great isn't it? We went to our new local pool the other day and they've got a frog slide, a water gun, lots of fountains, etc and it's all shaded. Woohoo!!
Last edited by AnyDream; January 17th, 2009 at 08:57 AM.
hey everyone,
hope everyones feeling better, seems a few of us are having a tough time atm..
anyway just popping on to let u all know that the scan went well, bubs looks all good in there and the sonographers guess was boy.. ours is too unless there was a cord in the way or something lol though i thought it was too early to tell? ah well will have to watch the dvd later tonight and have another look.. hope everyones having a great weekend!!
noni- how exciting!! that's great news. it's so nice to know they're healthy isn't it?
hayley- i know it's hard not to compare to others, especially in mothers group. idk if you remember, but when lewis was going through his really really bad sleeping stage (waking every hour or so for a bfeed) i used to get so upset when i got home from mg and heard about babies sleeping in their cots from 7pm-7am without waking. it did my head in. in the end, i just sort of withdrew myself from a lot of them, especially in regards to 'comparing' sleep etc. i was sick to death of hearing about it all, and tbh, i'm not sure how many of them were telling the whole truth anyway. none of them know that i still co-sleep, instead i just talk to you guys on here about it all.
honestly, this stage with maddie will pass, it really will. just get through it the best you can.
Noni - YAY a boy, that will be nice! I guess they will be able to tell you for sure at the next scan. How did telling the family go?
Rainy - Some things you just have to keep to yourself dont you? I know exactly what you mean. Thats nice that you still co sleep, they are only bubbas once so cherish it. Before you know it L will be too cool to be seen with mum & dad let alone sleep with them lol. & Yes I do remember when L was waking all hours & you were losing the plot much the same as me hehe. Like you said, how do you know if the other mums are telling the truth? Actually at mums group the other day one said her boy was sleeping 8.30 - 7.30 straight through. Then in a different conversation she mentioned that she has been getting up the past few nights giving him a bottle? LOL so there ya go.
MD - May have to go to the chemist today & see what we can get, her nose is like a tap again & her cough...god. Not to mention the ears. Poor bub. See I love your work mates idea of taking his kids out on a Sat morning, thats perfect for all, one on one dad time & a break for mum. May have to drop the hint to my DP about that...
Andie - Hope you are feeling a bit better after your emotional morning. Whats on your mind? Feel free to let it all out seems we've all been doing that lately Sometimes its so frustrating when the kids wont leave you alone!
Got up and just gave her the bottle last night, it took about 5 minutes & then we were both back to sleep and that was that. SO much easier to just give her the bottle. Have any mummies with older kids been in this position & the child just grew out of it?
Rainy, I am so glad for you that L is sleeping better and has weaned himself. I am a bit jealous actually . I am reasonably zen about the whole waking 6 times a night thing, I am so used to it now that I can't remember what it was like to sleep a whole night lol. I really wish he would wean though, it seems to be the root of our problem. I am sure he wouldn't wake so often at night if he didn't get fed back to sleep but he won't wean because he thinks he needs to feed to sleep. I think I am going to have to actively tell him no when he asks, because he is still having at least 6 feeds during the day and then another 6ish overnight and I am soooo over it.
MD, hope they fasttrack you for surgery - make sure you point out to them that you had to have a fat-free christmas!
Noni, yay for a boy!!! Sorry A is being such a challenge at the moment. I know it is hard when you just want to do one little thing and they make it take forever.
Kate, my DH gets grumpy that he doesn't get the chance to finish anything - Hello!!! Does he think I sit and watch the soaps all day?
Clare, how cute of L dressing up! W crawls around on the floor and Meows pretending to be a cat.
Ange, funny how it is DH's fault if they take ages to go to sleep! I lay there hearing every sound he makes and then when I finally get out I growl and blame him for keeping W awake. Very naughty, but have to vent somewhere.
Camping was great, we were at a perfect spot at the river, the water was so clear I couldn't touch the bottom but could still see the rocks. A deer even went running past about 10 metres from our tent - I think it was a bit dazzled to find us in its clearing lol.
Last edited by Artechim; January 17th, 2009 at 05:35 PM.
Kate: i hear ya big time. today was that day for us. told DH that i am not going to live a life with regret. and that includes looking back in 5 years time and wishing that we had of fixed things sooner. it wasnt a great moment, but i think we both kinda needed to hear it, so that we could come together to find some practical and emotional support strategies. DH tried the whole 'i (him) do so much' line on me and i let him go and say it. but i have been pointing out the things that i do as well during the day as the day progressed. for him, having me cook, dress, clean and entertain Leila doesnt seem to hit the radar of work. i put her to bed then come out and cook dinner and he had the hide to tell me that he is the one walking the dog! ummm, yeah except for the 3 days that you used to commute to wollongong then i would run the whole house and baby...uurrghh. it's so hard, as i know that it is hard to compare jobs and roles, but give me a break!
Arte: they are so cute imitating their world and also just seeing what gets their attention is such a fascinating insight into their minds i reckon. love it.
oh arte that camping trip sounds splendid and how beautiful to see a deer! wish i could go somewhere so beautiful!
MM: i so glad that you have found some peace with the am bottle. i truly believe that she will start sleeping longer bit by bit as she grows and eventually it will morph into a 6.30am breakfast...
it's so hard to not compare with other mums. i swear that every mother i see is the epitomy of maternal goodness and i am the ramshackled banshee from the swamp who accidently found a cute baby.
Rainy: it's soo true! mums groups are obsessed with sleep! and how 'good' their babies are...i didnt realise this fully until i moved here to melbourne and Leila was much older (5 months) and the other mums were full on about it. i guess with an older baby i had time to adjust to the lack of sleep!
AFM: well after the shocker start we did some retail therapy at the new bunnings....soooo awesome. got some sandpit sand and 2 kid outdoor chairs for leila to entertain her friends with. we also ditched the failing herb garden and have transferred to a potted system. aahhh i love gardens! how sad is that?!! LOL!
DH and i have decided to go get some more help with our 'issues' so off to see my psychologist on tuesday...see how that goes. i am surprised at how zen i currently feel about the collapse. maybe it needed to happen to start afresh...
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Babies Born September 2007 #43
Did you find something to do today to keep you both occupied?
Rainy I think you are right, we might just keep going with the whole night feed thing & hopefully she will just grow out of it. I'm just scared of her being 2 with us still getting up to her & then at that age I'd expect it to be an even harder habit to break?
.
Sometimes its so frustrating when the kids wont leave you alone!
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