Bec - aww, thankyou so much for your words of encouragement. It means a lot. There is more to mothering than breastfeeding, you're right, but it will just take a little while to adjust to.

I have done a bit of reading since I posted, and there is a suggestion in my reading that what has happened could be a nursing strike, although for reasons I can't find. I was hoping it might be a sneaky bfp ( though I am yet to test) or AF returning, neither one has really made an entrance, and it's been a week now. I am not entirely sure it is a nursing strike, as when I think about it, Hannah has been gradually having fewer BF's and probably for at least two weeks now the before bed feed has hardly existed. So it's not as sudden as I thought. And she eats exceptionally well and drinks a lot of water from a cup. The other thing? She's happy, and clearly not unwell or in discomfort.

I did offer her the breast yesterday and something really sweet happened. She looked at my breast, smiled really fondly, touched the breast, and then went back to what she was doing. Which was reading a book on my lap. Even though I am disappointed that our BF relationship has ended, I think because of her reaction yesterday ( rather than pushing me away, or crying) I can accept her choice now. It seems funny to get some bent up about it when I am ttc anyway and it was my wish that she would self wean as I didn't think I had it in me to end it for the selfish reason of ttc. It's funny how I got my wish and it has been hard to adjust to.

It's kind of weird though to think that the many things that were taboo - like caffeine or garlic and horseradish tablets, capsicum, onion, and celery - are now things I can consider including in my diet.

I went to a funeral yesterday and took Hannah and she was amazing. It was a catholic mass. Only one little grizzle - the entire time. And then by the graveside, one litle grizzle when I took some stones from her. I am so amazed at how content she was. The person whose funeral it was was a very serene and dignified person, so maybe that passed on to H yesterday? Of course she was a hit. I regret not going to the wake, but I was worried that H needed a sleep. Ha, I should have gone, she didn't sleep when I got home anyway.

Anyway, sorry about the me post. I am going a bit better anyway, emotionally and physically with the self weaning.

Here's a quick question - whose birthday is next after George? I can't remember..... how exciting, the 12 month mark is so close we can almost touch it.