Beany, I write a lot and talk a lot in general So When I am gone for a while, I generally come back with a whopper - Let me specify rolling - she rolls but still not so well - sometimes and arm gets stuck and she just stays there and sometimes it is just a sort of half roll so the bottom half of her body sort of turns and her arms stay back, so not all there yet

Alison, oh your poor friend, what an awful decision to make, but I would have done the same. Not having your brain function is no life at all.

Tilda, is it not possible to maybe see a physiotherapist or something. My god, I don't know what to tell you - I can feel your panic. Maybe just try to have DH do as much as possible physically? Is there anything you can do to treat it?

Quick update, just got back from the doctor. I told him that Eva has upped her feeding to every two hours, so he said it is one of two things: Either she still has some reflux pain and eats less because of that or I am not producing enough (PCOS also gives undersupply very often)...I am not sure there was an issue before but now that she is getting bigger, I am not sure I am making enough and I see at the end of her feeds that she is still trying to latch and generally grumpy, so it might be that...Plus I try not to eat too much even when I am hungry so maybe that is part of it...

She weighed in at 6.1kg (slightly below average) and 61cm long (average)...he told me not to feel bad about formula and that the antobodies are already passed on and to keep doing both for as long as I can but that I need to also get my life and body back and if I need to control PCOS then to do so. So I decided to get some formula and give it a try. We picked up an organic formula today and I gave her the breast which she drained (both sides) then I gave her 60ml of formula and she CHUGGED it down! At one point I tried to stop her since she had stopped for a breath and I thought she had had enough and she shrieked and put her hand on the bottle to hold it in place! Then had a gorgeous sleep and farted away without pain - I guess being so full must have jump started her metabolism...She was just so relaxed afterwards and so happy, so I don't feel bad AT ALL anymore!

I will continue doing like Alison, with the breast then the bottle, and eventually cut out the breast (I am hoping in a month or so...) and getting back on metformin and the pill.

Just like I said to alison and Beany when they were starting the FF, and I really believe, all I care is that she is happy and well adjusted and I did not even recognize her...Between the reflux meds and this experience with the formula, I have a calm and happy baby. So for now I am making the shift...I'll keep you girls posted on how it goes.

Thanks girls for being supportive - I do feel that guilt (I know how you feel now Alison and Beany) but on the other hand when you hear stories about babies who don't even make it, what the hell can you possibly complain about

Ok, so I'm off to start my WE with the friends - might not be back til monday so wishing you all a gorgeous weekend!

xoxo