I smack. Not too often, but I do. Sometimes its just purely out of frustration, other times its coz someone is doing something that could harm them & finds me saying no amusing
eg, Jesse at a power point. No is funny. Distraction gets a 'stuff you, this is what I want to do, so I'll do it' reaction. I try saying it hurts or something. In the end I'll usually smack to show that it can hurt iykwim.

Usually though, I'll take him away. Hold onto him, even though he's throwing himself & fighting & pinching & trying to bite me, til he gets over it.

Honestly...I'm trying desperately to use as little violence/smacking etc as possible with Jesse. He's already showing a violent side. Getting the ****s & lashing out in any way he can. I'm doing all I can to try to stop it. I've tried doing it back, showing him it hurts. I've tried ignoring, but when he's hurting its too hard.
The best thing so far is holding his hand if he's hitting, or foot if he's kicking & holding it still so he can't move it for a few seconds, then let go. If he does it again, I do it again. I don't say anything. Not even no, coz thats a reaction. Thats what he wants. I don't walk away, or leave him or anything. If he wants a cuddle he'll get it, then I'll say to him, you can't hurt mummy. That hurts. I'll get him to kiss me better too.
Its really hard & confusing lol. I like that Jaz can be grounded now!