hey natty, yeah i wrote my birth story -
https://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums...ime-round.html

but it doesn't have anything about the hospial visit/first week, thats where the problem is. both kids are sleeping, so i'll try and explain it quickly, its probably confusing.

The morning theo was born, was the morning we were gettting a new kitchen (sweet, everything to be done while im in hospital, i'll get home and it will all be done, looking fab). We planned on getting new lino in the kitchen, and getting the same lino in the bathroom. When they pulled up the old tiles in the bathroom the floor was that rotten there were holes everywhere. DH rang. this is about 10hrs after theo was born to tell me. I told him to leave the tiles there, hell if its lasted for the last 2 years we've lived there, i'm sure it will last another couple of months until we've all settled in etc.

He then decided, on his own, without consulting me, to pull the tiles up, and completely gut the entire bathroom, i mean.. completely. no walls, no floor (you could see all the dirt under the house). He called his mates to do an extreme makeover. Borrowed 10grand from his mummy, and started work.

When we were pregnant, we told all of our family and friends not to visit the first couple of days, as we wanted it to be our time together without interuptions. The only reason he was so strict on this, is cause he was irritated with my mum and didn't want her anywhere near him.

Sooo, now he was doing these renos, i barely got a visit from him. Whenever he did come, it was rush rush rush. You could see he was sweating, tapping his foot, watching the clock and wanted to get back to continue the renos. He palmed kaili off to my family, which infruiated me.. soo angry. I had left her to be in hospital with a baby who she had no idea who it was, and now, wow, dad is leaving her to work on the house? wtf! My parents asked him if i'd like a visitor, he still said no... it was no visitors for the first couple of days.

So there i was.. sitting in a hospital room, without even theo (he was in the scn), with absolutely no visitors. I was so lonely. .

When i'd call and mention that i might be coming home, he'd say things to encourage me to stay there (cause the house was a ****fight) He didn't want me to come home with his first born son.. Then when FINALLY theo was released, he came to pick me up, rush rush rush rush rush, then dropped me off at my parents house. I wasn't allowed to come home for another 2 days. Finally when i did get home, the house was... a complete disaster zone. $hit everywhere. Took me about a month to get things semi ok.

So basically, I'm heartbroken at the fact that the house came before his son, his daughter, and me. What should have been one of the happiest times of my life, was one of the loneliest.

A good friend was talking the other night about how she can't wait to have her wine and cheese platter at hospital after she has her baby, and i muttered to DH, "I was flat out getting a visitor, let alone a wine and cheese platter".

ahhh... that was a bit longer than a quick explanation, sorry!
I hope it makes sense. I might sound like a bit of a whinger, but it really upset me, and still does whenever i think about it.